Those Days
by ladidai
Summary: Glimpses into Rachel Berry's long and winding road to becoming a Broadway star. This was what she'd always wanted. Right?
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

Those Days

A/N: This idea popped in my head and won't leave. Title comes from the song "Those Days" by Lucy Schwartz. All mistakes are my own. By the way, first fic. Ever.

Spoilers through "A Very Glee Christmas" and the as of yet untitled Super Bowl episode, though nothing major should ever come up. AU as soon as the Super Bowl episode airs.

Disclaimer: Glee is not mine. I'm just playing with it, once.

Warning: Crude language and some minor sexual content ahead. Extreme wordiness as well. Ye Be Warned.

* * *

She could do this.

She was Rachel Berry; of course she could do this.

She could do anything she set her mind to, like getting Sandy Ryerson fired (unpleasant, but necessary); becoming the, short-lived, star of _Cabaret_; directing the "Jump" commercial for that mattress store; single handedly (well mostly, Finn helped too) winning the 2010 Western Ohio High School Show Choir Sectionals; joining the football team (what was she thinking at the time?); winning the 2011 National Show Choir competition (with the help of her fellow Glee club members of course); defending said title in 2012 (with the help of a larger Glee Club); and winning the star quarterback's heart.

It was like pulling off a band-aid. Do it fast and the pain would only last for moments, drag it out and the pain would last much longer. This was a lesson she learned over and over again during her time at the bottom of the social ladder in high school. She didn't know what to do when she had her first slushie thrown at her so she had to endure the stares and comments that came with her ruined clothes for the entire day, but she learned that with a quick change of clothes and a brilliant smile no one would be the wiser. This learning experience was the hardest, but she eventually learned to stop letting her anger simmer for weeks when Mr. Schuester constantly gave away the solos she deserved. It was much easier and healthier to be annoyed for that one practice when he announced solos for a new piece than to be angry about it for entire weeks. Eventually, she even began to appreciate, very slightly, this trial, because what leading lady didn't meet adversity during her journey?

But, just because she had to do it fast did not mean she could not do it right. There was a time and place for everything and a perfect plan for almost everything. So, she planned. She figured a month would be enough time, not too short but not too long because this plan would hurt. But it was the right thing to do. She would do this right because this is what protagonists in stories did. They did the right thing, even if it meant hurting someone else, even if it meant hurting herself.

She started a new calendar for this because everything needed to be done according to schedule. She also hid it because she knew what she was doing was underhanded and if anyone from Glee found out about her plan they would be horrified, disgusted, and most importantly disappointed with her. She was thrilled that after three years she had found friends, real friends, in the people of Glee. And Santana finally learned to tolerate her. They were the first group of people after her dad and daddy that she never wanted to disappoint so they could never learn of her plan.

She wasn't surprised when Quinn and Kurt - after Finn they understood and liked her best - knew she was up to something but with her superior acting skills she was able to calm their fears that she was about to execute, in their words, "some harebrained scheme of hers that will end in disaster." Although, she couldn't help but notice their sad expressions every time she executed another part of her plan. They may have seen what she was doing, but they didn't understand why she had to do it. She even hid it from Finn, with whom she shared everything with.

Finn.

After the never to be mentioned again Santana/Puck Christmas incident was finally resolved, they never went more than a few hours without talking with each other. They talked to each other about serious things, sweet nothings, and everything in between. They talked about their hopes and dreams (being a Broadway star of course; not being a Lima Loser), their favorite color (pink; red), what scared them the most (not becoming a star; ending up a Lima Loser), what they would do if they were rich (buy the Broadway Theater and make it her personal stage; buy the Chicago Bears), and how they loved each other (completely and faithfully; a lot).

They spent every moment they could, and even some they couldn't, with each other. Which, to be frank, was a considerable amount of time. If they weren't walking through the halls of school together, they were sitting next to each other in rehearsal, or they were sitting next to each other in class, or they were on a date, or they were driving to or from somewhere, or out with fellow Gleeks. Or Finn was sneaking into her room late at night to cuddle, or she was falling asleep on him after a late movie night, or she was sneaking into Finn's room after their first win at Nationals after reading dozens of "How to Please Your Man" articles for weeks beforehand and ended up forgetting all of the tips that night. They spent a lot more time alone after that.

When Finn didn't even think twice about taking the partial football scholarship to THE Ohio State (she never understood why she had to emphasize "The," but it made Finn happy so she did it) her sixth sense was telling her something was wrong. When Finn told her that he would be following her to New York City right after graduation, she knew something was wrong. This led to their first serious fight since that unmentionable incident.

She said he was about to throw away his future.

He said that the only future he wanted was with her in it.

She said that long distance could and would work.

He said it wouldn't.

She yelled at him.

He yelled at her.

She looked up at him near tears.

He smiled his half smile.

They made up.

That night when she was wrapped in his arms, she stared up at his ceiling unable to sleep because she knew what she had to do. She couldn't let him destroy his future by letting him follow her to New York City. She knew the statistics comparing the earnings of a college graduate vs. a high school graduate; a college degree would mean everything in the workforce. She knew Finn deserved better than to follow her as she chased selfishly her dreams right after graduation. In one of those rare moments when she was completely honest with herself she knew that Finn was never meant to be with someone who went to audition after audition only to never hear back. She was a big fish in a small pond but that didn't mean she'd be a big fish in a bigger pond.

She knew that the first few years (decade?) would be a struggle and that wasn't Finn's cross to bear. She couldn't stand to see him coming home day after day from a menial job doing things that he hated because she never wanted to see that depressed look on his face again like when he performed "Loser" with Noah while they were working at Sheet-N-Things. Yes, while after a few years she would be a big star and she could provide for both of them he still wouldn't be happy because he would be doing nothing but riding her coattails. He would just be a New York City loser instead of a Lima loser, but a loser nonetheless. Finn deserved to be happy with his life, deserved someone who could give him the things she never wanted. So, she planned in her head that night and laughed off the comments people made when they saw her with bags under her eyes the next day.

It's the little things that count. The devil is in the details (not that she believed in the devil). But those sayings were right; she couldn't just end their relationship suddenly because Finn wouldn't believe her. She had to show him that she was falling out of love with him. So, she made her calendar and decided that a month would be enough time. She followed it to the letter and hid it from her friends, parents, and teammates. She ignored the feeling in her chest when Finn's confused looks turned into questioning looks that turned into looks of pain.

All the other days were crossed out and the only day on the calendar that mattered was circled.

She asked Finn to meet her one last time.

"Finn, I'm breaking up with you."

She left for New York City the next month and never looked back.

She was Rachel Berry and she could do anything.

* * *

A/N 2: So yea, first chapter done. What? You wanted actual dialogue? That's coming up.

Also, review if you want. If not, that's fine. I write this for myself.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to everyone who read my ramblings.

* * *

She was Rachel Berry and she could do anything.

Except apparently land a part, any part, on Broadway, Off-Broadway, or even Off-Off Broadway in almost a year and a half.

"Rachel, stop complaining. I'd like to say it's beneath you but we both know I'd be lying."

"I resent that Tess."

"Darling, you wouldn't be you if you didn't resent that. But, like I was saying half of those casting agents Off-Broadway don't know what they're doing and most of the ones Off-Off-Broadway couldn't properly cast a middle school musical."

"But, you would think they would cast me in an ensemble at the very least." Her cell phone was switched to the opposite hand so the refrigerator could be opened, "You have to admit that my voice is superior to most of the talent Off-Broadway."

"Rachel darling, what are the four things you need to make it on Broadway?" Tess said in a patient tone, as if this conversation was one that they'd had multiple times in the past.

"Talent, a good network, hard work and luck." Rachel huffed out as she closed the refrigerator.

"One, you have in spades. Two, you have the greatest network on Broadway in me. Three, we both know you will work for this until you die. It is the fourth that you have none of, but that will change one day. "

"But, isn't there something more I could be doing? Like attending parties with you to meet and greet people in the industry?"

"Rachel, you are not some show dog that I will have prancing around during parties, besides that is what auditions are for."

"But-"

"Rachel, do you know why I became your agent? Besides the fact you called or visited my office for two months without missing a single day, you are one of the finest talents I have ever seen and believe me at my age I've seen plenty. There is no way I would be your agent if I thought otherwise. You are a diamond in the rough waiting for its chance to shine and I will make you shine even if it kills me. You will be the finest star I have ever had the privilege of looking upon."

"Thank you Tess. I'm sorry I called you for no reason. It will not happen again."

"Darling, I'm scheduling your next phone call to complain to me as we speak. Let's see, in four months it will be near the end of December, so I will wait for your call then. Try not to call during Christmas weekend if you could."

Rachel stood in front of her sink with her mouth open for a moment before she could mumble out, "Thank you."

Rachel heard a laugh come from the speaker of her phone before Tess said good-bye which Rachel returned before she hit "End."

Rachel understood that it would take time before she would be a star on Broadway but that didn't stop her from wanting a creative outlet. Returning to her old MySpace account was out of the question since no one bothered to use that website so she created a YouTube account to express herself on the days she wasn't auditioning or waitressing. She soon discovered that there were people in the world who actually appreciated her vocal abilities and loved reading the comments that her videos received.

In fact, there were quite a few people who appreciated her abilities, which was why her cover of "The Only Exception" was slowly creeping towards 500,000 views and most of her other videos had well over 100,000 views. Aside from the sheer number of views, what she craved even more were all of the comments she got, whether they praised her or criticized her because it was more feedback than she ever got after her auditions. It quickly became part of her morning routine to check her account just to see if any comments were posted that she needed to reply to.

"A request for 'Don't Rain on My Parade'? How could I say no to that," Rachel mumbled to herself as she nibbled on a bagel.

She glanced at her clock and saw she had enough time to reply to a msleamichele to tell her she'd be happy to grant her request as soon as she had the time. With that done she put her IEMs in, pushed play on her iPod, grabbed her purse and made her out of her apartment in Hell's Kitchen to the subway to catch a train to work. She sat down and quickly lost her surroundings with sounds of Sara Bareilles in her ears while thinking about the coming lunch shift.

All in all working at the downtown location of Brasserie Les Halles wasn't bad. In fact, Rachel considered herself lucky she had found a job so close to both her apartment and the Theater District. The pay was pretty mediocre but the big tips given by most tourists more than made up for it. She also was highly entertained by the cast of characters who called Les Halles home, from the dirty mouthed kitchen staff who could cook better French food in their sleep than Rachel ever could make cookies to the crazy front of the house staff who were always playing pranks on each other or trying to swipe food from the kitchen.

What she loved most about Les Halles was the fact that the entire staff was made up of misfits, they were people who didn't belong in normal society and they all ended up here. There was no shortage of aspiring actors, dancers, writers, or musicians among the wait staff all waiting for their big break. The kitchen staff was all crude and should have been ashamed of the words that came out of their mouths, but they all could cook and they never took a day off. If Rachel didn't know any better she could have closed her eyes and imagined herself back in the Glee club room or in the auditorium rehearsing a number, albeit one that smelled much better.

"Rachel."

"Rachel."

"Rachel!"

Rachel felt someone poking her in the forehead, glanced up, and smiled.

"Tim! How is my favorite waiter this morning?" She said while pulling out the IEMs from her ears.

"Much better now that you're paying attention to me. I called your name three times before poking you!"

"Sorry, I was listening to music." Rachel sheepishly pointed to her IEMs.

Tim stared at the little ear buds that looked like they had-, "Is that foam you were sticking in your ears?"

"Yes, it is foam and they're needed to create a seal for the IEM, or In Ear Monitors. I prefer my music not to be drowned out by ambient noise nor would I rather cause myself to go deaf by turning up the volume on those horrible sounding ear buds that Apple provides. In fact, the sound quality is so terrible that Apple may as well not provide anything and let the user select something that is capable of producing a more suitable sound."

Tim chuckled at the sitting brunette, "Right well, you'd know all about that music stuff right? I guess I'll stick with my crappy white ear buds and make myself deaf. It's not like I need my hearing to write award winning novels."

"No, I suppose not. But you really should hear music the way the artist intended it to be. The combination of the soundstage, mixing the highs, mids, and lows-"

"I get it, I get it. I'm completely missing the point of music aren't I? I guess it doesn't matter when I'm listening to Ke$ha's comeback album."

Rachel studied Tim's serious expression for a second. "Tim, it seems that I will no longer be able to speak with you."

"Geez, I kid, I kid alright?"

Rachel patted the seat next to her, "I accept your apology for the tasteless joke. I didn't know you took this train to get to work."

Tim sat down. "I didn't apologize because I have nothing to apologize for. I just moved to a new apartment because my old one got shut down for a rat infestation."

"I told you that place was unspeakably filthy. And you most certainly had something to apologize for. Listening to Ke$ha is no joking matter."

Tim grinned. "I see no coffee mug filled with lemon water with honey, so no auditions today?"

"No, it appears that there has been a lull in hiring. Plus, four of my old high school friends are coming to the restaurant to visit me before dinner service."

"I'm guessing Kurt and Quinn are two of them."

"Your guess would be correct. Santana and Brittany are the names of the other two. They are here visiting before Ohio State classes start next week. They were also in New Directions."

"Are they as hot as Quinn?"

"They are both quite attractive but they're taken, with each other."

"Holy shit. That is amazing." Tim said with a big grin on his face.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Men." She got up. "This is our stop."

"Wait. What? There's a closer stop than this one."

"I know, but it's healthier to get off a few stops earlier and walk the rest of the way there." Rachel said as she walked out of the car.

"Oh for fuck's sake." Tim shot out of his seat and chased after her.

* * *

It was like watching pigs feed.

Every day the kitchen would prepare the specials that day by combining leftover ingredients, but since they weren't on the regular menu the wait staff had no idea what they looked or tasted like. So, the wait staff was fed an early lunch and the kitchen staff was able to educate the wait staff. Or at least the kitchen staff would try to educate them. The staff lunch would always start out well, but after five minutes it always ended up with the wait staff trying to stab as much food as possible onto their knives and forks and putting it into their mouths before going back for more.

As Rachel was a vegan she had no need to participate in the staff lunch since nearly all of the specials contained one leftover protein or another. However, she always attended the beginning when Carlos, the Executive Chef, explained what each dish was and which dishes he wanted to be pushed the hardest. As soon as the eating began she left the kitchen to help the bartenders, hosts, and runners set up the front of the house. By the time the front of the house was nearly set up a healthy vegan dish was sitting on the bar with Tim in the seat next to it. This was another routine at Les Halles that she loved.

When she first started she mentioned to the General Manager, Traci, that she was a vegan and all Traci did was shake her head and left her standing alone. Within a few minutes Traci had returned accompanied by a middle-aged Hispanic gentleman wearing a do-rag and a stained Chef's jacket with his name, Carlos, embroidered above a bleeding skull with a knife between its teeth all above the name of the restaurant embroidered in flames.

"This her?" Carlos asked.

"Oui, Chef." Traci responded with her French accent.

"You're a vegan?"

"Yes, will this be a problem?"

Carlos stared at her like she had grown a second head as he stood in front of her.

"A vegan or vegetarian waiter won't last a week here, you need to be able to taste the food on the menu to sell it. You absolutely need to taste the specials not on the menu to sell them because those change almost daily. Ninety percent of my menu has meat or a meat by product in it, how can you work here with your beliefs? How old are you? You look like you're twelve. Have you had wine before? How can you push a bottle of wine when you haven't had any at all?

Rachel narrowed her eyes at Carlos. "I'll have you know my acting skills are impeccable. If I want to sell a customer an item you can guarantee that they will order it, whether it is a horrible meat filled entrée or a bottle of wine for each person at the table. My personal choices in life will have no affect on my ability to work here because I am a professional, which appears that you are not."

She watched as Carlos narrowed his eyes right back at her while she was making her speech and she knew that he would fire her before she had even started. But, she would not let anyone walk over her because of her beliefs. Not even when this job was the one thing that she needed in her life because she had almost nothing else. She had no Broadway prospects, the agent she wanted to represent her would not answer her calls or see her, she was late with rent for the second month in a row, and worst of all she thought of Finn almost every day. When she finished and they were staring daggers at each other while she waited for the guillotine to fall.

"Hah! I like her!" Carlos said as his face broke into a giant smile. "Don't you?"

"Oui, Chef. She does have spunk."

"I'll tell you what. You can stay on, but you need to push dishes and wine like the rest of the wait staff. We'll see where you are in two weeks."

"I will not disappoint you."

* * *

Carlos was going to fire her.

It had been a week and her food numbers were not looking good. She was nowhere near the average number of specials sold by the rest of the staff. Worst of all Carlos was right, she couldn't describe what a piece of perfectly cooked and seasoned veal tasted like or the texture of house made sausage if she had never had them before. Rachel did borrow a wine list so she could do some research online regarding the wines that Les Halles sold. So she was able to push her wine sales above the staff average but it still did not make up for her lackluster food sales.

Rachel was sitting at the bar pouting before lunch service started on Monday eating some of the free snacks that were on the bar when Tim, the relatively quiet Chinese waiter, sat down next to her.

"You look happy. Finally going to achieve your dream of what was it? Becoming a Broadway star?"

Rachel gave him the stink eye. "Yes, I will be gone by the end of the week."

"That's too bad, I was hoping I could get some tips from you on how to improve my wine sales. I was going to trade you some food tips since it looked like you needed help there, but since you're leaving I guess I'm SOL."

Rachel couldn't help but start to grin. "Hmm, I believe that would be a fair trade even though I am leaving to become a star at the end of the week."

"Good, we can start now."

Tim explained what the specials of the day tasted like to Rachel and her special numbers immediately shot up to near the top of the leader board - the wait staff was juvenile and maintained the unofficial standings amongst themselves - that week and stayed there. The rest of that week Tim slowly described the regular menu to Rachel before and after lunch service after describing the day's specials. By the end of that week Rachel's overall numbers placed her only second to Tim with whom she had begrudgingly shared her wine tips. Carlos had also come by at the end of the week to tell Rachel that she could stay on which thrilled her because something in her life was going right for once.

A few weeks later Tim asked her one day, "So, why do you sit out here looking like you're bored out of your mind during staff lunch?"

"For one, the rest of the wait staff eats like they are pigs who have not been fed in weeks"

Tim shrugged as if he couldn't dispute that. "We sure do."

"Two, the first few times I observed the wait staff eating staff meals I could not help but notice the joy on your faces as you ate. I became a vegan at a young age so I do not understand the pleasure you all receive when you eat a piece of perfectly cooked protein. Since, you all looked extremely happy while consuming the flesh of some poor animal I could not help but wonder what it might taste like. I had to remove myself from the temptation."

"Wait, you've never had bacon? Or a medium-rare rib-eye steak? Or uni?"

"No. No. What is uni?"

"Sea urchin. One of the most delicious food stuffs on the planet."

"You sound extremely happy when you talk about it."

"I would die a happy man if that was the last piece of food I had."

"You are a strange individual."

"Thanks."

The next day Tim brought out a dish with him and set it on the bar after he and the rest of the wait staff had inhaled their staff lunch.

"Here, Carlos himself made this for you. Don't worry, it's completely vegan. He was cursing in Spanish the entire time he made this while the rest of the chefs and wait staff were laughing at him."

"I don't know what to say."

"I believe bon appétit is the proper French term to use."

"I believe it is. Bon appétit." Rachel took a bite. "This is amazing!"

"It better be. I made it." Carlos said.

Rachel shrieked since she hadn't noticed Carlos sneak up behind her.

"Carlos! Thank you so much. This is so delicious, I cannot stop eating it." She took another bite, "Sorry for talking with my mouth full. It's just that I haven't had food this good since I left Ohio."

"Good. But not the part where you haven't had good food. We're going to fix that." Carlos said as he walked back to the kitchen.

After that day, Tim always had a freshly cooked vegan dish waiting for her at the bar before lunch service. She also got her own dish during the staff meal before dinner service which was just as delicious and an even bigger portion. She even began to help set up the front of the house because in the end they were all one team and that is what teammates did. Okay, it was mostly because she became bored while waiting for Tim to come out with her food and explain what the daily specials tasted like. But like Carlos explained to her one day, you do things you otherwise wouldn't for family.

At the end of the first week when Tim had started to bring out a dish for her, Rachel cornered Carlos who was coming out of the kitchen just before the dinner shift started.

"Carlos, I just wanted to thank you for the meals that you have been preparing me and as a ges-"

"Woman, go away. I just want some peace and quiet before the dinner rush. We are in the fucking weeds. Do you know how much shit I still have to get done? Let me just go outside and smoke my cigarette."

"But, I-"

"Pinche. You know why all the chefs cook shitty vegan food for you? You sell our real food, you make customers spend more money. This means you are family. In this world, we take care of our family. Now, let me go smoke."

With that Carlos brushed past a smiling Rachel.

* * *

"Hey, you going to eat your food? Otherwise I'm gonna inhale it like a hungry pig. Oink, oink."

"Yes, Tim, I am going to eat. Give me the fork."

"Were you spacing out? Daydreaming of being a Broadway star?"

"No, Tim. I was remembering some good times."

* * *

It hit her suddenly.

Lunch shift at Les Halles was like a Broadway musical.

There were a lot of customers during lunch but they all hit the restaurant over a short period of time. There were three hours of rushing around and then it was over all of a sudden. But those few hours were magic in her eyes. When Rachel realized it she stopped in the middle of the hallway connecting the kitchen with the front of the house. She quickly learned this was not a good place to stop and think when a runner elbowed her in the stomach on his way to the kitchen and another runner elbowed her in the back on his way out.

Rachel waited until lunch service was almost finished to ponder her thoughts, but the more she thought about it the more she believed it. The hustle and bustle of the restaurant provided the soundtrack to the only leading actor and director Les Halles would have, its executive chef. Carlos would direct his company with an iron fist to make sure everyone knew what they were saying and where their places were and like a leading man raising his voice above all others to yell out orders to his fellow chefs. The front of the house staff was like the ensemble that created a wall of sound whose only job was to support the lead. The runners were the stagehands who were constantly scurrying back and forth with their arms full of plates loaded with food or loads of empty plates doing the thankless work that kept the restaurant in motion.

She could feel the emotion and excitement build as lunch first started, there was a lull when the first group of people were finished eating but the second had not been seated. It built and built until the climax around 1:00pm when it was the loudest in the restaurant, the front of the house was packed with people waiting at the bar to be seated, eating their food, or getting ready to leave. Their conversations contained drama, romance, humor, wit, everything a Broadway show contained. The kitchen was under the most pressure firing table after table after table without end, the chefs trying to keep up with orders. Each chef knew that a single mistake would lead to the entire service falling apart, which would lead to bad food, which would lead to bad word of mouth. All the goodwill a restaurant or show had built up over time could be killed by one bad performance. No one in either business wanted bad word of mouth, it was a death knell.

Then like that, it was over.

A few stragglers would come in asking for an encore, the chefs would begrudgingly oblige them.

It was time to clean up for the night's show.

Rachel was still trying to piece together the metaphor when she spotted Brittany running towards her from the entrance of the restaurant with her arms held open for a hug. Rachel smiled and walked towards her with her own arms held up.

"Brittany! Stop!"

Brittany slid to a stop. "Aww San, but Rachel's right there! I wanna give her a hug! We haven't seen each other in forever!"

"Yea well, I want to hug Man-Hands first. Plus you need to wash your hands before you touch anything." Santana said as she strode towards Rachel.

"Why does she need to wash her hands?" Rachel asked as she and Santana hugged.

"I was trying to pet the sewer alligators!"

Of course you were," Rachel pointed Santana and Brittany down a hall, "Santana the restrooms are down this hall to the left. I'll hug you after wash your hands Brittany."

Rachel turned to wave at Kurt and Quinn who were slightly shaking their heads at Brittany's special brand of antics.

"Hey. Did you guys get moved in already?

Kurt scowled. "Ugh. Don't remind me. I had to spend hours to get my small dorm room up to my standards."

Quinn smirked at Kurt. "I got some guys I met freshman year to help me. Santana and I ordered them around and they were done in an hour."

"I hate you."

"But, I think my roommate turned into a giant pothead over the summer. There were way too many bongs on her side of the room."

"You need to invite me over more often, but I still hate you."

Rachel gasped. "Kurt, you smoke marijuana?"

"Sure, a few times a semester just for shits and giggles."

"Hey midget, what'd we miss? And where's my food? Me and B are starving."

"I want alligator!" Brittany exclaimed before trailing off, "I wonder if it tastes different than the ones you get in Florida?"

"Kurt is smoking marijuana. And have a seat, I'll get you guys some food." Rachel said as she left to go put in an order.

"Really Kurt? You should've said something over the Summer!" Santana said.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I can't smoke back in Lima, I have to go home every night."

"Party pooper," said Brittany as she took her seat.

Rachel came back and hugged Brittany from behind which immediately caused the blonde to squeal with joy before kissing Rachel on the cheek.

"I missed you."

"I've missed you as well Brittany."

Brittany started to say something, but Santana interrupted. "Hey RuPaul, what'd you order us?"

Rachel rolled her eyes at the nickname. "Actually didn't order anything specific. I just asked the chefs to make something for you guys. But don't worry, everything is really delicious here."

"Hey Rachel, are these the hot friends you were telling me about?"

"Yes, Tim, these are my friends from high school. You've met Quinn and Kurt." They waved at Tim. He waved back. "That is Santana and I am currently hugging Brittany. Santana, Brittany, this is Tim. He's a fellow waiter here at Les Halles."

"A waiter? Just a waiter? I thought we were bestest work buddies! I am wounded here!" Tim exclaimed overdramatically as he put his hands over his heart.

"Wait, where are you wounded? Shouldn't you be at a hospital?" Brittany asked.

Tim glanced at Rachel. "Is she for real?"

"Yes, she is, but don't hold it against her. She's the sweetest person you'll ever meet. Santana on the other hand is the devil incarnate," Rachel said.

"Ooh, a sexy angel and the hot devil. My wildest dreams have come true."

"Hey, waiter boy Tom, fuck off and go fetch us some water."

"Water? You got it. It's Tim by the way."

"Yea, whatever Jim."

Tim looked over at Santana who glared at him and he let out a cackle of laughter as he left to go get the glasses of water.

"I like him. He's cool."

"Wait, excuse me? Did Santana just say she liked someone she met for the very first time?" Asked Quinn.

"What? I'm like maturing or whatever. Oh and Tim likes you Rachel"

Rachel started from surprise and pulled herself away from Brittany. "What? No, he doesn't. He's just my friend."

"Oh please, that boy did nothing but stare at you when he wasn't talking to me. I bet if I cared enough to turn around I'd see him staring at you right now."

"Santana does have a point and whenever he looked at you he had a little grin on his face like he was just happy to see you. He is cute. I'd date him." Kurt chimed in.

"Just because Tim is looking at me does not mean he likes me. I mean he's a very kind person who makes me laugh all the time but he does not like me in that way. Kurt, you are free to date him, but I believe he would much rather date the young blonde bartender over there who reciprocates his feelings and is always trying to talk to him."

Santana wore a look of victory on her face, "Ha! So you have seen him looking at you! You've even noticed who he talks to! Rachel you so like waiter boy over there!"

"I do not like Tim, he's coming now over so can we move on from this topic."

"Here you go ladies and gentleman. Five glasses of water. Would you like anything else to drink? Perhaps some iced tea? Soda? Arnold Palmers?"

"Scram waiter boy, we're trying to reminisce here."

"Sure thing. Rachel sit and talk with your friends, I'll be your waiter this afternoon." Tim said as he pulled out a chair for Rachel.

Rachel smiled and took the offered seat, "Thanks Tim."

"Hey, Tim, I'd like an Arnold Palmer!" Quinn shouted as Tim walked back towards the bar.

"Make that two!" Kurt added.

"Two Arnold Palmers on their way," Tim said as he changed directions to his station to put the drink order in.

"Now where were we? Oh that's right. Waiter boy and Man-Hands were crushing on each other. Berry, give us more dirt on Jim."

"S, I gotta go to the restroom."

"What? We were just there, why didn't you go when we were washing your hands?"

"Because I didn't feel like going then!" Brittany said as she was getting up.

"Oh, alright, come on," Santana got up and pointed at Rachel. "We're continuing this conversation when we get back."

"You guys have been pretty quiet," Rachel said to Quinn and Kurt.

Quinn shrugged, "They've missed you. Yes, even Santana. They're half way across the country and the three of us are on the same island, we figured they should talk with you as much as possible."

Kurt nodded, "You should have seen Brittany on the way over here. She was practically running down the street to get here. If she wasn't distracted by the skyscrapers every five minutes we would've gotten here sooner. And I could have sworn Santana was strutting faster and faster as we got closer to the restaurant."

"Speaking of the same island, you should hang out with us more often Rachel. I mean, we lived in the same city for almost a year and we barely saw each other ten times." Quinn said.

"I would love to, but you know that our schedules do not mesh well. When I have free time, you two are at class and when you two have free time I am auditioning or working."

Quinn sighed, "I know, I guess we got a bit spoiled the last year of high school but we should try harder this year."

"Agreed."

"Bitches, back to my conversation." Santana said as she walked back with Brittany.

Rachel sighed, "There is nothing happening between us. You're overreacting to what you perceive to be signs of romantic affection."

"Rachel and romance? I haven't heard those two words in one sentence since… ever." Tim said as he walked up to the table.

Rachel's eyes widened in shock and she saw Santana grin at her as if she were a cat playing with its food. "It's nothing Tim, Santana was just being her usual self."

Tim shrugged. "In any case, ladies and gentleman, may I present to you the fine food of Brasserie Les Halles. Rachel is being served with an off the menu vegan item with a bunch of vegetables that I don't care about. Santana, in front of you there is a plate of-"

"Shut it, waiter boy. I want to hear Rachel tell me the about the food, not some Jackie Chan knock off."

"Santana, he's our waiter. It's his job to tell us about the dishes."

"No, you're our waiter who just joined us at the table. He's our lapdog who's meant to fetch things for us." Santana looked at Tim, "So, why don't you be a good lapdog and fetch me some more water."

Tim sighed dramatically, "Yes, your highness."

Santana turned back to Rachel with a demanding look on her face.

"Oh, all right."

Rachel went around the table and sold each dish as she would if she was trying to get them to order them. She couldn't help but notice the grin on Brittany and Santana's faces as she talked about each dish and soon she grin herself as she described the final dish which happened to be Brittany's.

"So wait, this is alligator right?"

Rachel shot a quick glance at Santana who slightly nodded her head. "Yes, Brittany it is alligator."

"Great!"

"Berry, if this food is half as good as you described it to be I'd be amazed."

"Trust me, it lives up to my billing." Rachel's eyes met Quinn's who smiled back at her because she had been here before and knew the food was delicious.

Rachel smiled as she saw the faces of her friends light up as they took the first bites of their dishes. The conversation at the table quickly died down as everyone put forth more effort into eating. It picked right back up when they began playing what Rachel had secretly dubbed the "Remember when" game. The rules were simple, it seemed that whenever three or more members of New Directions got together one of them would inevitably say, "Remember when so and so did x, y, or z?" The other members would laugh and smile as they of course remembered the event and it would continue as each member would begin a sentence with that phrase until they wore themselves out laughing at the good memories.

Today was no exception.

Quinn began the game today, "Remember when we won Regionals for the first time and Mike got so excited he did a back flip off the stage and almost hit Ms. Pillbury?"

Santana's turn, "Remember when we got together behind Ms. Sylvester's back to sing 'Ride with Me'"?

Kurt's turn, "Remember when we slushied Mr. Shue?"

Brittany, "Remember when I got lost in the sewer that Summer?" Everyone just smiled with her. She never could play the game that well.

Rachel, "Remember when we ran around New York City for an entire day before our second Nationals?"

Santana, "Remember when Rachel got so nervous before our first Nationals win that she ended up in front of the ice machine mumbling 'Ice, Ice, Baby' over and over again for an hour before Artie found her?"

"That is not an amusing story."

"Was for the rest of us," Kurt, Quinn, and Santana all said at the same time. Everyone laughed.

Rachel, "Remember when we lost our first Regionals?" Sad memories came after the good ones.

Quinn's turn, "Remember when Mr. Shue yelled at us right before we performed at our second Sectionals?"

Brittany, "Remember when Mr. Shue couldn't see us perform at our first Sectionals?" For such a happy person it was strange that Brittany remembered the sad times much better than the happy ones.

Santana, "Remember when I hated everyone in the room?" Rachel smiled and looked over to see Santana with a sheepish grin on her face.

Kurt, "Remember when I left?" No one smiled.

Rachel, "Remember when you came back to us?" Everyone grinned. But there were always more good memories to remember.

Kurt, "Remember when we did our 'Happy Days' duet?"

Quinn, "Remember when you two fought like harpies over every solo?"

Rachel, "Remember when the entire school cheered for us after we won Nationals?"

Kurt, "Remember when we showed up for the first club meeting our senior year and there was nowhere to stand? We had to go to the auditorium!"

Quinn announced the end of the game, "We had some great times in Glee."

Everyone nodded.

"Looks like you guys aren't reminiscing right now, so I think it'd be a good time to ask if you all would like dessert?" Tim asked as he cautiously approached the table.

"Fuck yes, we'd like some dessert. The food here is great!"

"Of course it is Santana, I'll order you a few things to share. Now let's see, lemon tea with a little honey for Rachel. Would anyone else like some tea? Or perhaps coffee?"

Rachel felt her cheeks warm up a little bit, Santana saw this and smirked at Rachel, "Coffee, black. Brittany will have a cup drowned with milk and sugar."

Kurt looked at Quinn who nodded so he said, "Two black teas."

"Your wishes are my command," Tim said as he left.

"So, you two figure out what you want to major in?" Santana asked.

"Undecided. Too bad there's no photography major at NYU." said the blonde.

"Journalism," replied the other.

"Really? I never thought you were interested in newspapers or news journals," questioned Rachel.

"Not that kind of journalism. Fashion magazines. I want to sway the entire fashion world by printing one photo spread. I want to be able to make or break the careers of young designers. I want to be able to ruin the career of a big shot designer with one mere sentence." Kurt's chin slowly lifted as he finished his reasoning. "And I want the free samples."

"Wow. Power trip much?" Santana sardonically replied.

Kurt smiled and asked, "What about you Santana? Cheerleading as a major?"

Santana glared at him, "Pre-law and philosophy double major. I'm going to be a lawyer. I'm going to grind people in court to dust with my five-inch Christian Louboutins stilettos, figuratively of course."

Kurt mimicked Santana, "Wow. Power trip much?"

Santana smirked. "You know it."

"What about everyone else? How are they doing? I have not had the time to hold up my end of all my friendships," Rachel said.

"I won't bore you with too many details, but Mercedes, Sam, and Mike are loving it at their various SoCal schools. The beaches, the weather, the sun, all the other horrible things for skin." Kurt said.

"Dessert has arrived! You guys finished reminiscing yet? Can I join in on the conversation?"

"No, be gone, man servant."

As Tim left, Quinn continued, "Artie is studying like mad to get into med school, he wants to get into research, something about stem cells and paralysis. Tina really hated UNC so she transferred to a small private school, Wesleyan I think." She looked over to Kurt for confirmation who nodded, "And Puck is running the biggest bar in Lima, he said he's saving every penny so he can travel the world."

"Oh," Rachel said as she lowered her head to look at the newly arrived dessert, "Everyone seems to have a good idea of what they want. That's good, I'm happy for everyone."

With her head lowered, Rachel missed the questioning look Santana gave to Quinn who nodded.

"Frankenteen is doing better. He stopped moping around three quarters of the way through the school year. I even set him up on a few dates. We also joined the a cappella group with a weird ass name at Ohio State. We're the Meshuganotes or something. Let me tell you something, the soloists before we joined were awful. Berry, you could out sing them even if I reached down your throat and ripped out one of your lungs, maybe even both lungs."

Rachel looked up at Santana, "I doubt I could out sing anyone without my lungs."

"Wanna try it anyway?"

"No, thank you."

"Damn."

"I'm glad Finn is doing better. He didn't deserve the pain I caused him."

"No, he didn't. But he understands that sometimes things don't work out. It just took him a while." Kurt said.

For one of the few times in her life, Rachel had nothing to say.

Tim saved her, again, when he brought the check over.

"Tim, this check has a balance of zero." Rachel said as she looked it over.

"I know, Traci signed off on it."

"But, we had a lot of food!"

"You guys sure did. Bunch of fat asses, the lot of you."

Everyone glared at him Rachel noticed, except for Brittany who was ripping up all of the coasters into tiny pieces.

"I kid, I kid. You guys are one of the most beautiful groups of people who has ever graced his establishment. And you know what Carlos always says. We take care of family. Traci also said and I quote, 'Don't make this a habit.'"

Rachel turned around to wave at Traci who smiled back. "Give our compliments to the chef. All of the food was delicious as usual. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You got it." Tim said as he walked back to the bar.

Everyone chipped in and a very healthy tip was put on the table.

"We're going to my place correct?"

Kurt replied, "Yes, Rachel."

A short train ride later and Santana and Brittany were wandering around Rachel's apartment while Rachel spoke with Kurt and Quinn in the living room/dining area.

"Damn, Berry. How can you afford this? This place is huge!"

"It's not that large, and I make a decent amount of money from being a waiter. Also, my daddies help."

"So why do you have a camera in the extra bedroom?" Brittany asked.

"The light is much better in the spare bedroom for when I shoot my YouTube videos."

"Berry, you got a YouTube account and didn't tell any of us?"

"I, uhh, never got around to it?"

"Uh-huh, what's your account name."

"RBGoldstar."

"Figures." Kurt said.

Santana pulled out her iPhone, "This is so going straight to Facebook and Twitter."

Brittany started jumping up and down, "Guys, guys we should do a video!"

"Sadly, Kurt and I haven't really sung in a year we'd be pretty rusty."

"What? We just sang when everyone but Berry was home for the Summer!"

"Karaoke night at the bar Puck runs does not count."

Santana looked at Kurt, "Who cares? This is what we do! We just have to pick a song that we can do without any deep voices. Rachel?"

"While I am tired from working today I would greatly enjoy singing with you all again," Rachel looked up in thought for a moment, "And I have thought of the perfect song. If you all would warm up your voices, I'll start my computer and get ready to record us."

Ten minutes later Rachel had deemed all of their voices to be properly warmed up and asked, "Everyone ready? Good." Rachel pressed a button and stepped back into the frame.

"Hello, I would like to introduce you to a few of my best friends who will be singing with me today," Rachel pointed to them as she said each of their names, "Santana, Brittany, Quinn, and Kurt. Today, we will be performing the classic Lady Gaga song 'Bad Romance' I hope you enjoy it."

"Bad Romance" quickly became one of her most watched videos.

* * *

A/N 2: So yea, this chapter got away from me. One second the word count is as 2k and the next I'm sitting at 5k and I still have more to write.

Les Halles is a real restaurant in NYC. My idealized restaurant atmosphere was based off of Anthony Bourdain's book Kitchen Confidential which is the story of his life and the life of Les Halles. A few bits and pieces were also based off of an episode of his TV show, No Reservations. If for some reason my depiction of restaurant life interests you, I recommend his book. It's fun times.

Also, apologies to the Meshuganotes. I looked up a few YouTube videos and you guys sound great. Santana was being Santana.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I reread the previous chapter and I hate where I ended it, I also hate a few parts within the chapter. I may or may not go back to rework it when I finish this story.

Much more word vomit ahead. Once again, thanks to all who read my ramblings.

* * *

Rachel's phone was vibrating.

She opened her eyes to glance at the clock on her bedside table.

No one ever called her this early on a Sunday.

She made sure everyone she regularly talked to knew this. This was her only day off from work because lunch and dinner shifts on Sunday were the slowest of the week which meant no waiter wanted to go in and work for a middling amount of tips. Since Rachel consistently hovered near the top of the unofficial waiter leader board, she had first choice of when she wanted to take her day off so Sunday was an easy choice.

It also gave her one day a week to sleep in. She still kept to her regular morning routine but with work, auditions, and her newfound social life sleep was the only thing that she could take time away from. So, she reserved Sunday mornings for a more relaxed approach as compared to her usual day. She also needed the extra sleep because as everyone knew, sleep was essential to maintaining one's beauty.

She closed her eyes and let the call go to voicemail.

The phone vibrated again. Rachel sighed, picked it up, and glanced at the caller ID.

"Hello, Quinn. To what do I owe the pleasure of your phone call this early on my day off?" Rachel said still in bed with her eyes reclosed and in a falsely happy tone.

Quinn's panicked voice hit her ears, "Oh my God Rachel, you have to help me! My roommate was busted for selling pot out of our room! I'm being kicked out!"

Rachel's eyes shot wide open, "You're being kicked out of NYU? You weren't selling pot as well were you?"

Rachel heard Quinn burst into tears then a familiar voice saying, "Here, let me talk to her."

Kurt came on the line, "Hello? Rachel? Quinn is a little busy crying her pretty little eyes out, so let me recap the situation. One, roommate busted for selling a little weed that Quinn had no part in. Two, roommate vouched for Quinn at Quinn's honor board hearing. Three, honor board still decided to kick Quinn out of the dorms for not reporting her roommate's behavior. Four, she's sitting on my bed bawling. Any questions?"

Rachel was sitting up by now, "No, I believe you have explained the situation very well. What can I do to help?"

"They're making her move out by one o'clock today so you can come by to help move all of her stuff to my room until she can find a place to stay. I still can't believe they kicked her out of the dorms the week before Thanksgiving. "

"Your room is extremely small; three people will not be able to live in it for any amount of time." There wasn't a choice to make in Rachel's mind, "No, we will be moving all of Quinn's belongings to my apartment. She can use my spare bedroom for as long as she needs."

"Wow, I can't believe I completely forgot you had an unused bedroom in your apartment. Wait, yes I can since you haven't invited either of us over since Santana and Brittany visited." Rachel sheepishly laughed, "In any case, I'll see about getting some of Quinn's big strapping male friends to help her move."

"Do you still need me to come over?"

"No, from what I can vaguely remember you had some stuff in that bedroom. You need to find a place to put all of that so Quinn can move in."

"Right, of course. I will give you a call when I have finished moving my things."

Rachel heard the phone being fumbled around and then Quinn came back on the line, "Rachel, I don't know what say-"

"You don't need to say anything. This is what friends are for."

Rachel could almost hear Quinn's smile through her sniffling, "Of course. I'll see you in a little bit."

Good-byes were said and Rachel glanced at her clock again to find there was plenty of time to complete her regular morning routine before cleaning up her spare bedroom.

After an hour Rachel had unpacked and put away the contents from the half a dozen or so boxes from the spare bedroom. A few minutes later Rachel had moved her video camera and laptop to beside the dinner table and onto the dinner table and went back into the spare bedroom to take stock. It was a little dusty so she pulled out her vacuum and started to clean. After wiping the window in the bedroom she went on to clean the single bathroom in the apartment, she wanted everything spotless for Quinn's imminent arrival. She skipped the closet in the spare bedroom since she hadn't opened it since she had first moved in. Rachel finished with two hours to spare and looked over everything one last time before deeming it ready for Quinn to move in and called Kurt to let him know that Quinn to come over at any time.

They were knocking on her door within half an hour.

Half a dozen very attractive college aged boys entered her apartment carrying varying amounts of large boxes with them. Rachel ignored their stares and pointed them towards the spare - no, not the spare anymore, it was Quinn's - bedroom. Kurt came in next carrying a look of disgust on his face along with a small box in his outstretched arms which he unceremoniously dropped on Rachel's kitchen table.

"I was not made for manual labor."

"Not with those soft hands, you weren't." Quinn said as she walked into the apartment carrying a much larger box.

"Har di har har." Kurt said as he left the apartment for another box.

Quinn walked up to Rachel and a burst of words came out, "Rachel, you don't know what this means to me. If you hadn't let me stay here, I wouldn't have had anywhere else to go. I know Kurt offered his room but it was way too small. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."

Rachel was staring at Quinn who looked as if she was getting closer and closer to breaking down with every word she said so she did the only thing she could do and hugged the taller blonde.

"It's ok. We're friends. This is what friends do. There wasn't a choice in my mind as to whether or not you should move in, as soon as Kurt told me what had happened I knew you were going to move in with me."

"But you practiced in that room! What about your YouTube videos? And-"

"I can practice in the living area and when I have the time I can record my videos there as well. Not that I've had time to record anything since Brittany and Santana were here, but that's not the point. And you are not imposing on me at all."

"Okay, okay, I'm just still freaking out a little bit. Should we talk about rent and utilities now?"

"No, let's get you moved in and somewhat settled before we discuss living arrangements," Rachel started towards the apartment door, "Come on, I assume you have more boxes to move."

Rachel assumed correctly.

Quinn had many more boxes.

It was well into the afternoon before all of the boxes were moved into Rachel's apartment and they had barely started to unpack said boxes. Much to Kurt's disappointment all of Quinn's manual labor had left as soon as the last box was dropped off inside and the three remaining friends decided that it would be a good time to take a well deserved break.

"Man, I can't believe what time it is. If it wasn't for those guys we would've been moving boxes well into the night." Quinn said as she sat on Rachel's couch.

"Yea, I am starving. We've been at it so long that we forgot about taking a lunch break."

"We could always order some take out or we could go to this Indian place with delicious vegan fare. Wait, what time is it? I completely forgot I had a lunch date scheduled with Tim."

Kurt and Quinn looked at each other and smiled.

Kurt began. "Lunch date you say?"

Quinn continued. "With who was it? Tim? Did Santana see you and the 'waiter boy' correctly?"

"I may have seen Tim in a new light after Brittany and Santana's visit. I asked him out a week later and he accepted." Rachel started towards her room, "Now if you will excuse me I need to call Tim and explain why I missed our lunch date."

Before she could get very far there was a knock on her door. Rachel changed directions and sighed in exasperation as she wondered which college kid had forgotten what.

"Hello, did you forget- Oh, Tim! I was just about to call you."

"Pretty sure I'm not the one who forgot something. I mean I was sitting there for… Hey wait, what's with all these boxes? Are you moving? Rat infestation?"

"No, Quinn is moving in. We've been helping her move in for the past few hours."

"Don't blame Rachel for missing your date. I just found out this morning that I was being kicked out of the dorms and Rachel has been helping me the entire day." Quinn said as she walked up to Rachel and Tim.

"Hey, I'm not blaming anyone. Rachel is a much better girlfriend to me than I am a boyfriend to her. I was just wondering what Rachel was up to she didn't pick up her phone or answer any of my billion texts."

"Oh, I must have left my phone on vibrate in my room after this morning. I am very sorry for missing our lunch date. I know we don't get too many chances to go out so I will make it up to you. In fact, we were just talking about getting something to eat. You are welcome to join us."

Tim shook his head, "Sorry babe, I have errands to run that'll keep me busy until late tonight." Tim leaned in for a kiss, "I'll see you tomorrow when we head into work."

"I think I'm going to head out as well. I have a bunch of papers to write and midterms to study for. See you at lunch tomorrow Quinn?"

"Yea, Kurt. Lunch, tomorrow."

After a late lunch, Rachel and Quinn came back to their apartment to continue unpacking.

"Rachel, I think I found a problem with the room."

"That is not possible. I checked the room over multiple times before you arrived. There is nothing wrong with it."

"Come here and look again, I believe I'm missing something."

"You cannot possibly be missing anything." Rachel said as she walked into Quinn's room, "It must be in one of the dozens of boxes you brought with… Oh, you are missing a bed."

"Ding, ding. Johnny tell her what she's won!"

"You are not as amusing as you think you are."

"Yes I am, but really, I just need to buy a bed when I have the time. I'll crash on the couch until I get one. Hopefully, it won't be too expensive, I don't want to dip into my savings that much."

"Nonsense, you can sleep with me in my bed."

"The couch is fine."

"It is not, while my couch is comfortable it isn't good for your back to sleep on it for an extended period of time. Plus, we did share a bed with each other during our trips to Nationals and I'm sure you shared a bed with Santana and Brittany when you three had Cheerios sleepovers."

"Thanks Rachel, I didn't really want to sleep on a couch after all that moving today. Also, I wasn't exactly invited into their bed when we had sleepovers."

"Why wouldn't you be invited? You were all friends… Oh. OH!"

"Yea, that's why. I suppose we should talk about money?"

"There's really no need for you to pay me anything. I can afford to rent this place by myself."

"Rachel, I will pay you something to rent this room. I just don't know how much that'll be, the school may or may not refund me my room payment. If they don't refund the money I'll give you what I can from my photography jobs."

"You're working as a photographer?"

"Not really, I've been working as an assistant for a few wedding photographers. it's much more interesting than my classes and I'm learning a lot. They even let me be the second photographer for a wedding, which was amazing. I could imagine myself doing that for the rest of my life."

"I'm glad you found something to do that you love."

"The pay is pretty good actually but I can't take too many jobs since I have class every day. I'm probably going to move all my classes to Tuesday and Thursday next semester so I can take more jobs. But enough about my budding career, I should finish unpacking and you should go reheat those delicious leftovers for dinner."

"If I knew you were going to be this bossy I would have never agreed to let you move in with me." Rachel said with a smile.

"Pot and kettle, Rachel."

Rachel had just finished reheating the leftover Indian food when Quinn walked into the dining/kitchen area carrying a box.

"Hey, I found this in my closet. What'd you want me to do with it?"

Rachel looked at the box, "That does not belong to me."

"You sure? Because unless the previous tenant enjoyed putting gold stars on things, I'm pretty sure this belongs to you."

Rachel curiously looked at the box before taking it from Quinn and carried it to the living room. After setting it on the living room table she opened the box and looked inside.

"Oh. I completely forgot about this box."

Quinn walked over carrying a plate with some of the leftover food. "What's in it? Hey, isn't that one of our high school letterman jackets? Who else did you date who had one of those?" Quinn's eyes narrowed. "Wait a second."

Quinn put down her plate, snatched the jacket from the box, and looked at what was underneath. "This is full of Finn's stuff! Oh my God, why'd you drag all of his stuff to New York?"

"I never had the chance to give it back to him."

"So you brought it with you half way across the country instead of leaving it in Lima?"

"I didn't want my daddies to throw it away."

"They wouldn't have thrown it away. You know that they love Finn! They would have given all of this back to him if you left it at home!"

"They might have made a mistake?"

"Oh no, you definitely knew what they would have done if they found this box. You definitely brought this with you on purpose."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Yes, you do. Kurt and I always thought something was fishy with the way you ended things with Finn. Now, I have proof. There's no way you bring a box full of stuff half way across the country that belongs to a guy who you don't love anymore. Tell me the truth Rachel or I swear to God I'll get Kurt over here and we'll pry it out of you."

Rachel locked eyes with Quinn, "If I tell you, it stays between us. No one else can know."

"That depends on what you say."

"I guess that is the best I can hope for." Rachel looked down and swallowed, "Quinn, you know Finn the best after me. You know what he is truly like. How kind and gentle he could be when he wasn't worried about his popularity or what other people thought of him. How he could be the bigger man when conflict arose. How he would do anything to protect the people he loved." She looked back up.

Quinn nodded.

Rachel continued, "Did you know he wasn't going to take the partial scholarship to Ohio State?" Quinn's eyes widened and shook her head, "He was going to follow me to New York right after we graduated. He said a long distance relationship wouldn't work because he was too in love with me. That as long as we were together he would be happy. I couldn't let him do that."

"I don't think that was your choice to make alone."

"Finn was set on coming with me. If I hadn't told him not to, he would have thrown away his acceptance packet from Ohio State. We even got into a huge argument over this. Quinn, you understand what it means to have a college degree, how important that education is for the rest of your life. If Finn had followed me to New York he wouldn't have had the chance to get that education. He would have been stuck doing menial jobs in New York rather than Lima.

"Look at me, it has been a year and a half since I moved to New York, I have zero Broadway prospects, and I am waiting at a restaurant. But, this is my dream. If, for some unfathomable reason, I do not make it to Broadway I can honestly say that I did what I needed to do in life. If Finn came with me he would be stuck waiting at a restaurant with me or delivering newspapers or washing dishes or any number of other menial jobs. But the difference would be he would be doing it for nothing."

"Don't you think what you guys had was something? That it would have been worth it for him to come with you and work those jobs just to be with you?"

Rachel shook her head, "No, what we had was a high school romance. Don't you think Finn deserves something better than living paycheck to paycheck until the day he died?"

"Of course he does. But why'd you have to do it the way you did? That last month of high school was awful; he was moping around heartbroken and you were way too extra cheery and pushy like you were overcompensating for something. The rest of us were just sad that you guys had broken up because we thought you guys would go the distance."

"I did it that way because it had to be done that way. I had to convince Finn that I was no longer in love with him. And why us?"

"Because you guys were perfect, you guys were a fairy tale romance. I guess everyone wants to believe that something like that exists."

"I believe you and Sam were the fairy tale romance or maybe Tina and Mike, but not Finn and I."

"No, Sam and I were a lot like Finn and I, we were together because it was expected. He was nice and not bad to look at but there was never a spark for me. Tina and Mike were never going to last since all they had in common was dancing and being Asian. Artie and Brittany weren't going to make it because Artie wasn't Santana. But you and Finn? You guys were it. You were the leaders in Glee for a reason and when you sang together everyone could see it. No one could touch us emotionally when you two sang some sappy ballad. Not even you can disagree with me there."

"Yes, you do have a point about our strong connection through song."

"So, you still loved him when you left?"

"Yes, when I left for New York I was still in love with Finn. Your belief that I was overcompensating the last month of high school is also correct. I was also heartbroken but I couldn't let Finn see that. He had to believe that I wasn't in love with him anymore."

Quinn looked down and covered her eyes with her hand and rubbed her temples, "Right, because if he thought you still loved him he would have gone to New York to win you back." She dropped her hand, "And now?"

"I believe I will always have feelings for Finn, but I am no longer in love with Finn. I wouldn't have started a relationship with Tim if I was. It would not be fair to either of us." Rachel looked up fearfully at Quinn, "Are you going to tell Kurt or Finn about this?"

Quinn sighed, "No, there's no point. If I told Kurt he would only blow up and yell at you even though it wouldn't matter. And I don't want to open this wound for Finn. I'm sure you've already guilt tripped yourself for a long time."

"Yes, I still felt guilty about what I did even after Santana told me that Finn was doing better."

"Good, because you deserved to feel guilty."

"I do not deny that I did."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"I believe the leftovers are cold again, I shall reheat them."

"I'll do that, you put this box away. Hopefully somewhere where no one else can find it until you have the chance to give it back to Finn."

"Thank you, Quinn"

"Friends, right?"

"Friends."

* * *

Rachel always thought she knew the worst of winter because she grew up in Ohio.

But Ohio did not prepare her for the winters in New York. It was not the temperature that chilled her to the bone. It was the wind that was funneled by the skyscrapers down the streets and avenues that made her eyes water, that penetrated her coat, scarf, and hat like they weren't even there. It made her feel like she was turning into ice as she rushed back to Les Halles for dinner service.

It was the first Saturday of December which meant next to nothing with regards to the business Les Halles would do. Tourists came and went during all parts of the year and early December was no different. The good part about this was that Rachel almost never had to worry about the amount of tips she was getting at any part of the year. The bad part was dinner service was almost five hours of sheer madness every day of the week for the entire year.

Today was no exception.

A very tired Rachel left Les Halles alone, Tim had taken the weekend off to visit family in DC, after service and noticed she had a voicemail on her cell phone. It was from Tess.

"Rachel, something huge is happening. Details are sparse but I know this, be prepared to audition for _Phantom_. I don't know what part so be ready for any of them. The auditions will be happening in the next two days, at most I can give you an hour's notice. I'll call again if I find out more."

_Phantom_.

_The Phantom of the Opera_.

The longest running show on Broadway.

Rachel hadn't auditioned for anything on Broadway in over a year and now Tess expected her to go straight to the top. But, there was no question about it, Rachel would be prepared when Tess called. She hurried home and barely acknowledged Quinn and Kurt who were sitting on the couch watching a movie while she went to her room, opened a cabinet, and pulled out the script and sheet music for _Phantom_. There was no time to waste.

"Quinn and Kurt, I'm sorry but I am commandeering the living room so I may practice for an audition."

"What? It's almost midnight and we're right in the middle of this movie. I say you bring your butt over here and watch it with us instead of practicing."

"Ignore her Rachel, what musical are you auditioning for?"

"_Phantom_."

"No way, get out. That's impossible. No production that big holds auditions this randomly."

"I know, Tess said there was something big going on and that I should be prepared to audition for any role."

Kurt sat there with his mouth hanging wide open for a moment before he recovered. "Well, that settles it. Quinn, we're going to have to finish this movie some other night because tonight we practice with Rachel."

"Oh come on, the good part was coming on soon!" Quinn complained, but she still moved to turn off the TV.

Kurt and Quinn stood up and faced Rachel, "What'd you need us to do?"

* * *

Rachel was nervous.

It was right before dinner service on Monday and Tess still hadn't called her regarding the audition. For a split second during lunch service Rachel thought Tess may have been pulling a practical joke on her and she almost spilled water all over a customer. But, she quickly realized that while Tess may have joked about the act of auditioning and results of auditions, she would never joke about an actual audition. So Rachel decided all she could do was trust Tess would call her.

Hopefully soon.

Hopefully very soon.

The first table had just been seated in Rachel's section when her phone started to buzz. She raced towards an empty hall while she pulled it out of her pocket and saw that it was Tess.

"Tess?"

"Rachel, be at the Majestic Theater in fifteen minutes. This is your shot."

All Rachel heard after that was the tone indicating that the call had ended. She did some quick mental calculation and realized that she had to leave right now to make it. She grabbed her things and rushed over to Traci at the host station.

"Traci, I need to go. I have something extremely important to take care of."

Traci stared daggers at Rachel, "Do you have someone to cover for you?"

Rachel turned around, "Tim! Cover for me!" Rachel looked back at Traci and smiled.

"Out."

Rachel shot out the door and raced towards the Majestic Theater. She thanked the Broadway stars that it was a Monday so foot traffic wasn't that bad which allowed her to make it to the theater with a few minutes to spare. She saw a sign taped to a door with one word, "knock," written on it. Rachel took a moment to catch her breath and compose herself before knocking on the door.

She heard locks being released.

The doors opened up to reveal a man in a bespoke suit holding a clipboard.

"Name?"

"Rachel Berry."

He looked down at his clipboard then at his watch. "Come in." He pointed at an usher, "Follow him."

The usher led Rachel behind the curtains to stage right and told her where she could leave her things. He pointed towards a mark downstage and center.

"Break a leg." He said as he left.

Rachel Berry stepped onto a Broadway stage for the first time in her life.

The entire theater was illuminated and her eyes darted around to take in as much as they could while she walked to her mark.

The stage,

The balcony,

The aisles,

The seats,

She could see a lone man with a serious expression sitting in the center of the third row behind a makeshift table held up by the first and second rows. He held up a folder.

"Rachel Berry?"

"Yes."

"You need a better photo in your portfolio. The lighting on this one is horrible."

"Oh, I apologize for the lackluster photograph."

"No need to apologize, but you should correct it. Also, do I know you from somewhere?"

"No, I do not believe we have had the pleasure of meeting."

"You're right, but I know your face from somewhere…" The man trailed off as he looked to his left.

"You may have-"

"I got it! YouTube! You do have a YouTube account correct?"

"I do, my account name is RBGoldstar."

The man stared at her for a moment. "Yes, that is you. Good voice, but you still have to sing for me. Two songs. Try and make them contrast." He smirked, reminding her of Santana, "Nothing that you have up on your account."

Rachel was speechless, she had gone through a _Phantom_ phase early during her YouTube account and uploaded videos of nearly every song in the musical. She couldn't sing a single song that she had prepared for the audition and from the smirk on the man's face he knew that as well.

"Well, I do have something I've been working on since I was four." She heard a bark of laughter as she raised her head to think about her personal repertoire and what was on your YouTube account.

"Of course you do, I expected nothing less."

"But, I believe I will start with 'On My Own' from the seminal Broadway classic _Les Mis_."

"Fantastic, one of my favorites."

Rachel finished her rendition only to see a look of boredom on the face of the man who then made a motion with his right hand asking her to continue. So Rachel proceeded with "Don't Rain on My Parade."

_I gotta fly once, I gotta try once_

"Stop."

_Only can die once, right, sir?_

"Stop. That's enough." He said with finality.

Rachel looked down and was crestfallen, the man was looking through other folders he had spread out on the makeshift table.

"Thank you for your time." She turned towards stage right and started to walk out.

"Where are you going? Downstage and center!"

Rachel hurried back to her previous position. "I thought you had dismissed me."

"When I dismiss you, you'll know it." He wrote something on a clipboard, "Your vocal performance was good, but I expected nothing less. I just don't have time for the entire song. Your monologue now."

The man also deemed her monologue good while looking through folders.

"There's a script to your left. It's time to run scenes."

The man was appalling. He read his lines as if he was reading a phone book. He put no emotion into it. He gave nothing at all. It was as if he didn't care. Rachel had to provide everything in each of the five scenes he had her read with him.

He deemed her scenes good as well. This time he was looking at her. He reached to his right and picked up a different clipboard.

Things were written. He looked up.

"How tall are you?"

"Five foot three."

Things were crossed out and rewritten.

"You will be picked up as extra #5. You will be picked up as part of the ensemble. And unless Judy Kaye's talent is hiding in one of the two remaining people I have to audition, you will be picked up as the understudy for Carlotta."

"Don't I have a say in this?"

He arched an eyebrow, his right. "No, with your lack of experience you need this company much more than it needs you. But frankly, I want to be able to say that I cast Rachel Berry in her first Broadway part. You start rehearsals tomorrow."

"I will not be able to start tomorrow. The earliest I can start is Sunday."

He arched an eyebrow, his left. "And why is that?"

"I cannot abandon my current employer with only a few hours notice."

"Your current employer is what?"

"A restaurant."

"And you won't abandon them? Choosing a mere restaurant over Broadway?"

"I am not choosing them but I will not disrespect them like that. They are like family."

He smiled genuinely for the first time, "This company is lucky to have you. You start Sunday."

He yelled for an usher, grabbed a pad of large Post-It notes, wrote something on it, and handed it to the usher when he arrived. "Take her to costumes to be fitted and find her a full script with the blocking on it." He looked back at her. "Dismissed."

The rest of her time at the theater was a blur.

The usher meeting her.

Two women asking her to turn every which way.

The usher handing her a script.

An escort back to the entrance of the theater.

Rachel stood in front of the theater for minutes while her mind tried to process what just happened. She checked her left hand to make sure that she was actually holding the script to _Phantom._ When she confirmed that she was in fact holding the script, she flipped through a few of the pages to see for herself that blocking notes were, in fact, hand written on the script. This meant that she did not just imagine all of that.

Rachel Berry had made it to Broadway.

She screamed out loud and looked around.

It was New York. No one cared.

Rachel arrived back at Les Halles in the middle of dinner service and quickly took over her section without missing a beat. Just like Broadway show, a restaurant service never stopped for anyone or anything. At the end of service Rachel was usually tired, but on this day she was giddy when she asked for an audience with Carlos and Traci.

"Carlos and Traci, I appreciate everything you have done for me over the past year and a half. But I am afraid my last service will have to be Saturday's lunch service. There are no words that I can use to properly express my gratitude towards you both and to Les Halles. I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

"You're leaving? What for? Who's going to sell my shit?"

"I just got back from an audition." Rachel's voice got louder, "I've been cast in a Broadway musical!"

The restaurant went silent.

Carlos and Traci looked at each other then back at Rachel and smiled.

Carlos waved at the sommelier, "Go get bottles of Dom. Tonight Les Halles celebrates!"

"Oui, Chef!" Ever staff member at Les Halles responded.

* * *

Rachel finished her last shift at Les Halles and slowly made her way home. It felt like the longest week she had ever lived, not because she was anticipating her new job but because every night of the week she had stayed late because multiple staff members insisted on buying her drinks. She wasn't old enough to legally drink so after the last customers of the night left, the staff locked the doors and bought drinks from Les Halles itself at hefty discount. Rachel always took the first few drinks she was offered but then spent the rest of the time talking quietly with Tim as all of the staff proceeded to drink to their hearts' content. She stayed at the restaurant well past 2AM every night of the week and still had to go in for the lunch shift the next day. She was glad she had said the Saturday lunch shift would be her last. She could use the rest.

As she walked into her apartment, Rachel noticed Quinn sitting at the kitchen table with her laptop open and muttering curses to herself as she surfed the web. After putting her things down and making a cup of tea Quinn still hadn't moved from that spot and was still muttering curses, which continued even after Rachel sat down next to her.

"Is something the matter Quinn?"

"Oh my God Rachel, you scared the crap out of me! Where'd you come from?"

"I just got back from my final shift at Les Halles five minutes ago, but it appears that you were too busy to notice."

"Oh, yea. I'm having a bit of a problem."

"What's wrong Quinn?"

"I got a new job but it's kind of short notice so I can't find a camera to use. I tried asking my wedding photog friends but they're out shooting a wedding and none of the online camera rental places have anything in stock." Quinn sighed, "I think I may end up just canceling this shoot."

"I find it hard to believe that none of those websites have a single camera to rent you. Isn't that the point of their business model?"

"Well, they do have cameras but not the one I need."

"Why not just rent one of the ones they have?"

Quinn looked at her as if she had spontaneously turned into Brittany.

"Because Man-Hands, I can't bring a cheap consumer camera to a shoot like this."

"Why not?"

Quinn's attention went back to her laptop. "Because, I won't get the level of control I need."

"Control?"

"Yes, Rachel. Consumer cameras offer some control and very few advanced options. Prosumer models offer more of each. Professional models offer the most of both." Quinn's voice trailed off, "I suppose I could get away with a prosumer model. Now I just need a lens or two…"

"Why would you need more than one lens?"

"Because each lens has its strengths and weaknesses which means that one lens could be perfect for one situation while another would be perfect for another situation."

"Oh, that makes perfect sense."

"What I really need are two camera bodies and two lenses so I can just switch bodies instead of lenses…"

"Wouldn't that cost much more?"

"Yea, it'd double my equipment costs but it would save a lot of time during the shoot if I wasn't constantly changing lenses. Plus, I'd miss a lot of shots at the wedding and reception if was changing lenses all the time."

Rachel by this point had moved her chair over so she could see the screen of Quinn's laptop. "Why not just use that cheap lens that was on the previous page?"

"Because cheap lenses introduce a lot of flaws in the image quality that the cameras take. This is why professionals use the highest grade lenses available, they want as few image problems as possible. Any more questions?"

"Why don't you just buy your own camera and lens if renting a set is so problematic?" Quinn gave her the stink eye, "You know me, I love questions."

Quinn sighed, "Because I don't have enough money saved up. If I hadn't gotten kicked out of the dorms I would have had almost enough saved to buy what I needed by now."

"I told you that you did not have to pay to stay here."

"Berry, I thought we settled this the first five hundred times you said something. There was no way I was going to mooch an entire bedroom off of you. I'm not complaining about living here. Heck, if it wasn't for you I'd probably be dipping into my savings to live in a shittier apartment much farther away from NYU so I have nothing but gratitude for you."

"I know, it's just hard for me to see you struggling with something you really want."

Quinn made a nonsensical sound.

"How much do you need to save until you have enough for the camera and lens?"

"Umm, probably close to two thousand dollars. But that also includes costs for miscellaneous things."

"What? Cameras and lenses are that expensive?"

"Yea, lenses start at around one grand and bodies cost about three."

"Wow. I'll be right back, I need to go get changed."

Rachel left the kitchen area to go to her room. She closed her door most of the way and hurriedly changed into more comfortable clothes. She then opened her laptop and checked her bank account. She did some quick calculations in her head and decided that she could do it.

Quinn was still sitting at the table mumbling to herself when Rachel placed an envelope in front of her line of sight.

"What's this?"

"Open it and you'll see."

Quinn took the envelope from Rachel, opened it, and stared at the check she pulled out.

"Rachel, there's no way I can take this."

"Yes, you can. I can afford it now. Just imagine that it is a very early Christmas present that you'll have to pay back."

"But, you haven't even started your new job yet!"

"No, but I have been cast and I start tomorrow."

"But, this is a check for two grand!"

"Yes, I believe that is the amount you said you required for a camera, lens, and miscellaneous equipment. Any more questions?"

"Just one, why?"

"Because, you are my friend and I want to help you achieve your dreams like I am achieving mine."

Quinn looked up at Rachel for a moment, "Thanks, Rachel."

"I just have one condition."

"Anything."

"I require new portrait shots for my portfolio."

"You'll be my first customer, free of charge."

"Then we have a deal."

Rachel held out her hand for a handshake. Quinn got up from her seat, pushed aside the offered hand and almost crushed Rachel with a hug.

* * *

"Good morning. First off, I'd like to welcome the newest members of our company." The director, Edward Adams, made a sweeping arm motion to a group of 12 people, including Rachel, standing beside a much larger group of people.

"Second, I'd like to address the rumors that have been making their rounds. As all the old timers can see we have a few people missing, all of them actors. The twelve people standing over there have been cast to replace them. Now, I'm sure you're all wondering why those actors were let go from the company, but you can keep on wondering because I won't tell you. Suffice to say, they ran afoul with the law and won't be coming back. Remember, drugs are bad for you. We've had to fill some major roles with people we yanked off the street so let's get started."

Rachel quickly realized that they had to lost quite a few important cast members, besides the understudy for Carlotta they had also lost the regular and standby. In one fell swoop they had no one in the company who could play that featured role. They had also lost one of the regulars for Christine, thankfully it wasn't the main actor, and the standbys for Erik and Raoul. Rachel knew that it would take long hours and hard work to incorporate the new cast members with the old. She just didn't know how much and how hard they would have to work.

Edward was a task master. For three weeks he made the new cast members come in on the days they were supposed to have off. He made them come in early on performance days to rehearse and even earlier on the days when matinees were performed. He wanted every mark and note hit perfectly in practice, he wanted the blocking to be perfect, he wanted lines read correctly, he wanted everything to be perfect in practice. If there was one mistake during a scene, it would be rehearsed until it was done to his standard. They would spend an hour rehearsing a simple five minute scene or two hours to rehearse a ten minute scene.

It was grueling and exhausting.

Rachel would have it no other way.

In Rachel's mind there was one benefit that eclipsed all others when she was in another day long rehearsal. She had the pleasure to see Megan Clark perform. Megan was cast as the regular Carlotta much to Rachel's dismay when she first learned of it, but after the first rehearsal Rachel knew that the casting director had made the correct choice. Unlike Rachel, Megan had more success with her career, she had been cast as the lead in a few Off-Broadway shows but like Rachel she hadn't made it to Broadway yet.

Megan deserved every minute she spent on a Broadway stage and if she was given a few more, Rachel would certainly not complain. Off stage, Megan was kind, gentle, and sweet. There was nothing too small that she wouldn't do for a fellow cast member. She ran lines with understudies and standbys even though it wasn't required of her. She helped Rachel and Charlotte, the new standby for Carlotta, with their lines and blocking. She reminded Rachel of Brittany, except less ditzy and with a better sense of humor.

But as soon as Megan stepped on stage into her role of Carlotta she was the epitome of a diva. Haughty and demanding, she hit every line perfectly. Every movement was with purpose as if her mere actions conveyed her attitude. On stage Megan as Carlotta reminded Rachel of Quinn when she was head of the Cheerios. And her voice was amazing, the cast was enormously entertained when Rachel and Megan would run scales with each other, since it always dissolved into a friendly competition as to whose voice was better on that day. The margin of victory was so small that the day's victor would be swayed by who had what for breakfast or how long they slept the night before.

Rachel knew she was watching a star being born, it wasn't her. But she was alright with it. Megan deserved it.

She never failed to hear the small voice in her head that said it should have been her.

* * *

Edward finally deemed them ready.

He had to.

The company had brought back an actor who previously played Carlotta for a special one month run for her return but her time was up, but Megan was more than ready to take over.

As a "reward," Edward finally gave the new cast members their days off after a month of mandatory rehearsals so Rachel was particularly incensed when she was called in Monday morning. She stepped on to the stage and she saw looks of confusion on the faces of everyone else. It appeared that everyone in the company had been called in as well and they also had no idea why they were here.

"You attention please."

Everyone turned to face Edward who was standing in an aisle with his left hand covering his mouth.

Rachel tried to squeeze herself downstage so she could see him more clearly.

"I have some bad news. Megan tore the ACL in her left knee. She will be unable to perform for six to eight months."

Rachel stopped moving.

She couldn't believe it.

Rachel knew that Megan was going to be the break out star of the show. Megan was destined for bigger and brighter things than a torn knee and months of rehabilitation, everyone in the company knew it. Rachel was devastated for Megan. The tiny voice spoke up in her head, "Who is replacing her?"

There were only two choices.

Charlotte and herself.

There was no question as to who it would be. Rachel's acting and vocal abilities were far superior to Charlotte's, Edward would choose her without a doubt. The people around her believed this as well, they were smiling at her and she was even flashed a few thumbs up. It filled Rachel with happiness to see the rest of the cast acknowledge her.

It was as if Edward had heard the voice in her head moments ago, "Charlotte will be replacing Megan. Take ten. We'll do a quick run through of Carlotta's scenes after. Everyone in a scene with Carlotta will stay. The rest are free to go."

Rachel swore that Edward's eyes skimmed the cast before landing on her, "I'll be in my office." He turned and walked back up the aisle.

Rachel felt hands patting her shoulders and saw sad smiles on the faces that passed her. She smiled brightly back and marched to Edward's office.

She entered without knocking.

"Edward, you and I both know-"

"Stop, I know what you're going to say. We both know that Charlotte is far less talented than you and if it were up to me I would have chosen you to replace Megan. But it's not up to me."

"You are the director, of course it is your decision."

Edward smiled sadly at Rachel, "Have you heard of the term office politics?" Rachel nodded, "Well, offices have nothing on Broadway when it comes to politics. When we lost all of those actors a month, we also lost quite a few of our backers." He paused for a second, "We were financially unstable and we still are. One of the largest backers we had remaining insisted we cast Charlotte as Carlotta. If we had lost that backer, we would not have been able to continue the show, but the first time I saw her on stage I knew she was not good enough."

"But, Megan was cast as Carlotta."

"Yes, eventually. We brought in a third party casting director to find us the most talented people not on Broadway. His only term was that we had to cast the people he selected and for the parts he wanted them to play. I believe it worked out very well, he found us plenty of talent but two of them were better than all the others. You," Edward pointed at her for a moment, "and Megan. The only question was, who would we push to use. You were unpolished but had more potential. Megan was more polished but nearer her limit as an actor. In the end, we chose Megan because she was the better shot to convince our backers not to use Charlotte. We showed her audition and first rehearsals to our backer they backed down and allowed Charlotte to be the standby."

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, why can't you show your backers my audition and rehearsals?"

"We've already chosen someone else other than their handpicked star. They won't allow us to do it twice. Rachel, if I had my way you'd be taking over Megan's role. But all of the talent in the world can't sidestep the fact that we need the money to continue. I'm sorry Rachel, I know this isn't what you wanted but you're the standby now."

"I completely understand. Would you like me here for rehearsals today?"

"I won't say no if you stayed."

"Then I will be prepared to run lines."

* * *

Rachel rushed to the theater the next day. She was anxious even though she was only going to appear on stage as an extra and part of the ensemble, after all it would be her Broadway debut. She entered the theater through the rear entrance reserved for the cast and crew and walked downstairs to the large dressing room she shared with the other members of the ensemble. She had just greeted her fellow cast members when an assistant told her grab her things and to go see Edward on stage immediately.

Rachel found him standing in the middle of the stage overseeing everything, "You wished to see me?"

"Any chance you got hit by a bus on the way over here? Perhaps you broke your arm while falling down a flight of stairs? Or have you gotten the flu and are unable to perform tonight?"

"I am in perfect health."

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"To my knowledge, I am in perfect health. Do you know something I do not?"

"I know that Carlotta's role is cursed apparently, I hope you fare better than the two women before you."

"What?"

"Charlotte went out celebrating last night, got drunk, and was hit by a taxi. Broken arm and leg. This probably wasn't the way you imagined things but you're now playing the role of Carlotta. Go get changed, your costume is in Megan's room."

Rachel made her way to Megan's dressing room. She saw a gold star on the door with Megan's name printed on it and sighed. For once in her life, Rachel was torn about being the star. This is what she had dreamed of since she was a young girl, but she never wanted it to happen like this. She took a deep breath before she pushed Megan's door open and came face to face with a foot, Megan's foot.

Rachel shrieked.

"Hah, got you!"

"Megan, why would you do that?"

"Because I had a feeling you might need to be snapped out of a funk and when I saw the look on your face when you opened the door I knew I was right."

Rachel looked at Megan, "It should be you getting ready, not me."

"You don't think that I haven't thought about that for every minute since my little accident? I'm already feeling sorry for myself. I don't need you to feel sorry for me and the company really doesn't need you to feel sorry for me."

"But-"

"No, buts. For some reason you think you don't deserve this. You're wrong. Out of everyone in the cast you worked the hardest, obviously with your lack of experience you had to. But you never complained or acted like a bitch about it. I worked with you every day and I know how far you've come in such a short time. Frankly, I think if they saw us on the last day of rehearsal I think I would have been the understudy and you would be the regular. I know this isn't how either of us wanted things to go but there's nothing you can do about it now."

"I just feel guilty."

"Guilty? Why on Earth would you feel guilty? Were you hoping I would mess my knee up? Of course you weren't. This is what happens on Broadway, a regular goes down and the understudy steps in. The show must go on right? In any case the doctors told me that this would have happened sooner or later if I kept on running. I probably should have listened to you about the elliptical thing."

Rachel grinned, "Of course you should have, it is a much healthier option for your lower body."

"Now get dressed and warm up your voice. I want to hear your dulcet voice in a few hours."

Rachel spent the next two hours chatting with Megan as she got ready. It would have gone faster if she wasn't constantly distracted by actors who stopped by to wish Rachel luck on her debut. However, as news spread among the company more and more actors stopped by to see Rachel until she could do almost nothing but say "Thank you" every few moments. Eventually, the number of people stopping by trickled to a stop and Rachel knew that it was almost time.

She could hear the buzz of the audience fill the theater.

She could hear Megan telling her to break a leg as she left the room to find her seat.

She could hear the theater manager's voice fill the theater, "Ladies and gentlemen, Megan Clark is unable to perform due to an injury. Rachel Berry, her understudy, will be playing the role of Carlotta Giudicelli indefinitely. Thank you."

She could see the lights in the theater dim.

She stepped out on stage.

She could do this.

She was Rachel Berry.

The world would see her shine.

* * *

A/N 2: Finn Hudson? Who's Finn Hudson?

I tried to make the workings of Broadway as accurate as possible, but Google and Wikipedia can only take me so far. Sorry if it's wildly inaccurate.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I think I'll just say this one more time. I reserve the right to go back and update every chapter in this story since I know I'll find things to hate once I reread them. What I definitely will do is go back and fix all of the typos I've found. It just kills me when I find one while I'm rereading my story, I literally want to shoot myself when I come across one.

There are some minor spoilers in this chapter for the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's a great movie. Go see it.

Once again, thanks to everyone who has read my ramblings and a special thanks to those who took the time to write a review.

* * *

Rachel Berry was scared of the dark.

Rachel was not afraid of monsters or not being able to see what was around her. No, she understood that there were no such things as monsters waiting to eat you in the dark and she was perfectly fine with walking slowly and using her arms to feel her way through the dark. She was scared of the dark for a completely different reason. If she couldn't see anything in the dark, then logically, no one could see her as well and the thought that no one would be able to see her terrified Rachel to her very core. How could she shine if no one could see her? This was why Rachel was afraid of the dark.

It was dark where she was standing.

Really dark.

This terrified Rachel.

Rachel gripped the microphone she was holding tighter and tighter while she tried to calm herself down. She knew there was no reason to be afraid, that the darkness would be gone within minutes. But fears like this were irrational. She tried to focus on the lights she could see but they seemed so far away and she couldn't think of anything but the darkness surrounding her.

She was so scared that she almost missed her cue.

Almost.

Rachel Berry never missed a cue.

"-gentlemen, please welcome the cast of _Funny Girl_!"

Rachel smiled and waved after the spotlight lit her up and then launched into "Don't Rain on My Parade."

She had practiced this song since she was four years old. She had performed it on the fly at the 2009 Western Ohio High School Show Choir Sectionals helping New Directions win that year. She had performed some of it at her audition for _Phantom_ and the entire thing at her audition for _Funny Girl. _She had performed it eight times, sixteen if you counted the reprise, a week for almost a year now.

It was no more difficult for Rachel to perform this song than it was to take a breath.

This gave her a little time to think while she performed. Not that she phoned in the performance or anything. One does not just phone in a performance at the Tony Awards. Especially when your musical is nominated for multiple awards, including Best Revival of a Musical and Best Leading Actor in a Musical. Especially when one is nominated for Best Leading Actress in a Musical. Still, Rachel did not lose herself in the song as she usually did. She wanted to savor this moment, she wanted to savor her first performance at the Tony Awards.

So, Rachel allowed herself to look around the Radio City Music Hall. She was glad that the director had allowed her to start a third of the way up the left aisle. It reminded her of when she had performed the song while she was in New Directions and she enjoyed the nostalgic feeling that memory brought back. She even spotted Eric, who had played the Phantom, sitting along the aisle as she made her way towards the stage. In spur of the moment she decided to have a seat on his armrest to sing to him. She put her arm around his neck and she felt him put his arm around her waist. She was happy to have met Eric during her run on _Phantom_, he had become a good friend on and off the stage.

She made her way down to the first row and walked along it, waving at the Hollywood stars who wanted to be seen at the Tony Awards. She even paused for a moment in front of Beyoncé and Jay-Z, he had just unretired for the sixth time. She turned and lifted her dress making sure not to trip as she climbed the stairs and walked towards center stage.

She stood at center stage, hit the final notes to the song and took a quick bow. Immediately, her fellow cast mates launched into the shortened version of "Rat-Tat-Tat-Tat" they had rehearsed for this moment. The audience loved it, they smiled at the right moments, laughed at others, and clapped and cheered as the cast took their bows. They all exited stage left and Rachel hurried to get back to her seat, the announcement for Best Leading Actress in a Musical was coming up after the commercial break.

She made sure to smile for the camera while her name was announced as a nominee. She made sure her face would have a pleased expression for whoever won the award. She had lost a lot of her naiveté regarding the world of Broadway during her run on _Phantom _and knew that she would have to pay her dues before winning a Tony Award. Yes, she had been nominated as Best Featured Actress in a Musical for her run on _Phantom_ but that was a symbolic nomination for the production surviving its scandal. So, this was her first nomination based upon solely on her performance. Still, she was Rachel Berry so she had written, memorized, and practiced her acceptance speech over and over again until Quinn threw a stale bagel at her. She had the small knot on the side of the head to prove it.

"The American Theater Wing's Tony Award goes to Rachel Berry, _Funny Girl_."

The look of shock on Rachel's face was genuine. Rachel couldn't believe what she had heard. She sat in her seat stunned for a moment until Tess pushed her out of her seat. She made her way back on stage and kissed the presenter on the cheek while she accepted her Tony. Rachel stepped up to the microphone and promptly forgot her speech.

"Wow, umm. I had a speech prepared and memorized but I just completely forgot it." The audience laughed with Rachel, "I guess first of all I need to thank my dad and my daddy, who supported my dreams of Broadway from the very beginning. Thank you to my friends who could be here tonight in the audience and the ones who aren't. Quinn and Kurt I know you're watching! Of course, I cannot forget about the cast and crew of _Funny Girl_, especially John who will always be my Nicky. Nor can I forget every single person who came to see the show."

Rachel looked down for a moment and when she looked back up there were tears in her eyes, "This is the third award I've won in New York, the first two were for high school show choir." A few loud cheers went up in the audience and Rachel smiled, "The reasons we won those awards were because of one man and one group of teenagers. He taught us so much more than singing and dancing and they were much more than a group to sing and dance with. They taught me the lessons of life that I have used over and over again and still use to this day."

Tears started to roll down her cheeks and her voice cracked, "They're the reason I'm up here tonight. Thank you, Mr. Schuester and thank you New Directions."

* * *

"I'm Elle Montgomery for E! News at the 71st Tony Awards and with me is Rachel Berry, who just won the Tony for Best Leading Actress in a Musical tonight!"

Rachel smiled and waved for the camera.

"So, how does it feel to be a Tony Award winning actress?"

"It feels great. I've never felt better in my life. This was a role I have dreamed of playing since I first saw Barbra in the film version. I'm happy that all the hard work I've put into this was acknowledged by my peers."

"I think if you held onto your award any tighter you'd cut off the circulation to your fingers."

Rachel politely laughed and looked down, "I believe you are correct. I don't believe I have let the award go since I won it."

"So, we have to talk about your acceptance speech. It was probably one of the most memorable ones we've heard in a long time. Did you really just make that up on the fly?"

"Yes, I actually forgot the speech I had prepared and memorized so I just started talking. I believe I became a little emotional at the end."

"A little? I'm pretty sure half of the audience had tears in their eyes as well. I know I did. Can you tell our viewers a little more about this show choir that was so important to you?"

"Of course. I was part of New Directions for final three years of high school. As you have probably gathered from my acceptance speech, they are some of the most important people that have come into my life. No matter how far apart or how far removed we are from each other I believe we will always be connected to one another. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about someone from that group. I truly am a better person for having known them."

"They sound like a wonderful group of people. So, _Funny Girl_, you guys won two awards tonight but were nominated for six. Are you disappointed?"

"No, the voters voted for who they believed should have won and that's all we can ask for. Obviously, I am thrilled to have won my personal award and overjoyed that we as a company won Best Revival of a Musical but the rest of the cast is just as talented and I'm sure they will be up for many awards of their own during their careers."

"Speaking of careers, yours has come from out of nowhere. From two short lived stints in Off-Off-Broadway ensembles to a nomination for Best Featured Actress in a Musical during your run at _Phantom_ to winning a Tony Award the very next year. How have you done it?"

"As my agent, Tess, has always said it takes four things to make it on Broadway: Talent, hard work, networking, and luck. Let's just say I have been very lucky while working hard these past two years."

"Just hard work? Any playtime allowed in Rachel Berry's world?"

"I'm not sure I understand the question."

"Is there a man, or maybe a woman, in your life? During your run at _Phantom_ you were seen around town with a young man. He doesn't seem to be around anymore and rumor has it you and your _Funny Girl_ co-star have been going out. Care to address this rumor?"

"John is just a friend whom I enjoy hanging out with. We are not romantically involved and at this moment of my life I am not romantically involved with anyone."

"I guess that means there's hope for you guys and gals out there!"

Rachel politely laughed. "Yes, I am available."

"I'm sorry to say that's all the time we have. Rachel, once again, congratulations on winning tonight and thanks for being with us." Elle turned to shake Rachel's hand

Rachel took Elle's hand, "Thank you and it was my pleasure."

"And we're out. Good job you two."

Rachel politely made some small talk with Elle while technicians took her microphone before leaving for an after party a few minutes later. This was where she found herself quite bored sitting at a table autographing a photo or napkin every few minutes in between texting everyone back who had sent congratulations. Actors and actresses of all ages stopped by to congratulate her and told her the performance tonight was spectacular as was her performance in the musical. She smiled and thanked them for their appreciation. Fans came by to gush about her performances in _Funny Girl_ or _Phantom_ chattering nonstop while Rachel politely smiled and nodded. She always wished them well and thanked them for their attendance to her shows when they left.

"Is our Tony Award winning actress bored?"

"Megan! It's been too long and thank goodness you're here. I needed someone to talk to."

"It has been a while since we've been able to chat. And it looked like you had plenty of people to talk to."

"I know, we haven't talked too often since I left _Phantom,_ but I have been so busy. And I had plenty of people talking to me. There is a difference."

"I understand, I've been busy as well since taking over your role and auditioning for new musicals."

"It was always your role, I was just your understudy who stepped in since I was needed."

"Rachel, don't kid yourself. You were amazing as Carlotta."

"Megan, you would have done just as well. Probably better."

"I guess we'll never know since now I'll always be standing in the tiny shadow you cast as Carlotta."

"Hey ladies, having a good time?"

"Hello John, we're having a nice time catching up with each other."

"I can see that and I'm pretty sure everyone else in the room can as well."

Rachel looked around and saw that people were standing around the table giving them nervous looks while clutching things that they wanted to be signed. It was as if they were afraid to approach the table. Or more specifically, Rachel.

"Stardom not quite what you were expecting?"

"It is slightly different from what I had imagined."

"I wouldn't know. I'm not the Tony Award winning actor at this table."

"Are you disappointed that you didn't win?"

"Course I am, but you and I both know that David deserved to win this year."

Rachel, Megan, and John looked around the party for a few moments taking in the sights and sounds, not that there were many.

"This party sucks. I'm going to another one. Join me?" John announced suddenly.

"Definitely. Let's see if you can show a girl a good time."

"While that is not the term I would use, it does properly describe this event. But, I am afraid I will have to decline your offer, I believe I shall head home."

"What? Come on, you just won a Tony! Let's go celebrate!"

Megan lightly slapped John's arm. "Leave her alone John, you've worked with her for a year. You know Rachel is, all work and doesn't like a big party. It's probably why she won a Tony at such a young age while us mere mortals struggle through our careers." She turned towards Rachel, "We have to remember to keep in touch more often."

"Agreed."

Rachel headed towards the exit and as she got near it the applause started to build. By the time she was at the door of the ballroom, it was thunderous and it was all for her. She turned around, smiled, and took a bow then went off into the night in search of a taxi. She quickly found one and they went off to her apartment in the Theater District.

An apartment she still couldn't believe she had.

* * *

Rachel was sick and tired of this.

All she wanted to do was to come home from her nightly performance as Carlotta and relax on her couch. Yes, it was a cheap couch because it was all she could afford when she arrived in New York but it was comfortable. However, everywhere she looked Quinn had strewn photos and large albums from her fledgling photography business. They were on the kitchen table, on the living room table, on the couch, on the stove; she had even found photos in the bathroom one day. That was the day that she had started to look for a new apartment and with the help of a helpful real estate agent she had found one in short time.

"Quinn, I think it's time we discussed our living arrangements."

"What about them? Do you finally want me to start giving you more money for rent?"

"No, I have found a new apartment."

"What? You're moving out?"

"We are moving out because I cannot stand the fact that your photography business has taken over 90% of the living space in this apartment."

"I kind of thought that this would happen. Wait, you said we."

"Yes, I said we. What did you think I would say?"

"I just thought that you might have wanted an apartment of your own."

"Why would I want an apartment of my own? I love living with one of my best friends, except for the fact that I can't do anything without coming across a stack of your photographs or stubbing my toe with a piece of equipment."

"If it's about my photos I can just organize them a bit better and I'll keep all my junk in my room."

"Quinn, we both know that your business is only going to get larger and larger, especially since you've dropped out of school to focus on it full time. We need a larger apartment."

"But, I love this apartment. It feels intimate, the light in my bedroom is perfect, and I love the location. And the rent is so cheap compared to other places like this."

"You mean, your rent is so cheap since I am paying most of it. If I am going to be paying for an apartment it will be for one that I have room to live in.

"I guess this means that I'll be paying more when you find a new place."

"I've already found a new place and I've spoken with Kurt who demanded that he be allowed to decorate and furnish the apartment for us."

"What? Don't I get a say in where I'll be living next and what will be in the apartment?"

"No, the place I have found is perfect for us. It's almost like our current apartment except it has much more room and we will both have our own bathrooms. And I would like to see you tell Kurt that he is not allowed to decorate the new apartment for us."

A look of panic shot across Quinn's face. "No, no that's ok. I'm sure whatever he does will look great."

"I'm glad that's settled then. Now we need to figure out how much of the rent you can provide. With my larger salary I would be willing to continue our current arrangement provided you would be willing to pay a third of what is needed."

"Rachel, you don't know how much I make as a photographer do you?"

"I do not. It would have been rude for me to ask."

"My base charge for a wedding is $2,500 and I'm thinking about raising that to $3,000, maybe even $3,500, pretty soon."

"What? That is not possible. No one would pay that much to have their wedding photographed."

"You'd be surprised at the number of people that would gladly pay that and more for memories of their wedding."

"I can't see how you can charge that much."

"Well, that covers up to eight hours of photography by me and JD on one day, which is usually more than enough for the wedding and reception. I also provide them with a photo album of their wedding and reception and all the photographs we took on a portable hard drive. Of course, anything extra means extra charges. And most people want extra things."

"But, you shoot a dozen weddings a month!"

"Over exaggerate much Rachel? Since I quit school I usually do four a month since most people have their weddings on the weekends. I'm also starting to pick up some engagement shoots. So I make a healthy living from this job, especially since I've bought most of the equipment I need."

Rachel did some quick math in her head and was stunned. "You, you make more than I do."

"This is what I've been trying to tell you. I make more than enough to pay you half the rent for this place and I'll be more than willing to pay you half the rent for the new apartment." Quinn looked around the apartment and sighed, "I guess I do need more space. When do we move?"

* * *

Rachel stepped into the apartment and found Quinn sitting on their couch watching an entertainment news program with a half eaten pizza on the table in front of her.

"Enjoying the news?"

"You bet, they've replayed your acceptance speech at least five times in the past two hours and I've cried almost every time."

"I didn't think it would be that popular. I did what most other people do."

"No Rachel, you didn't. You started out lighthearted then went to a generic speech and closed with a personal story that tugged on the heartstrings of everyone who watched." Quinn chuckled, "Even when you're not really trying, the talent just oozes out of you. I swear if I hadn't heard the speech you had originally prepared a million times I would've thought you rehearsed that speech."

Rachel let out a huff, "I do not ooze anything."

"Nothing but talent." Quinn smirked as Rachel shot her an indignant look and went to her bedroom to change.

Rachel returned and took a seat on the couch next to Quinn.

"So, E! just re-aired your interview. What is up with you announcing to the entire nation that you're available?"

"Well, I was just answering the question honestly as I usually do."

"Rachel, there are some things that are better off left unsaid. It's one thing to confirm that you and Tim were dating, it's completely different to say 'You're available.'"

"Why is that different?"

"Because now you're giving every gossip rag and show free reign to question your relationship status or lack thereof."

"They will do that regardless of what I say."

"That's not the point. The point is: don't give them any more ammo than they already have."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "You watch too many of those gossip shows."

"What can I say? I love hearing about relationship dirt on celebs."

"Speaking of relationships, where's JD? I thought you were going to watch the show with him?"

Quinn sighed, "Some bride decided she wanted a leather bound album of all her photos at the last second. So, he had to go oversee the process. I swear to God, if I ever get married I will not turn into a bridezilla. They're one of the most hideous creatures on the face of the Earth and the only part I hate about doing weddings."

"Aren't you successful enough to pick and choose your clients?"

"Yea, I try to pick out the cool ones and most of them are, but you never know. They're like werewolves, one moment, a nice, normal person and the next they're roaring at you and trying to bite your head off."

"So, why couldn't he do it here? I swear you have enough photography equipment in the apartment to last a lifetime."

"Rachel, you don't understand. She wanted an album of all of the photos we took for her entire wedding and reception. We took hundreds and hundreds of photos for her! There's no way I could have printed all those photos in time and even if I could I don't have a leather photo album that large lying around. I had to outsource the job to some guys I know."

"Well, with the outrageous prices you charge, I'm sure this one little thing can't hurt."

Quinn turned to glare at Rachel, "Excuse me, but my charges are well within the industry average. And you can be damn sure I'm charging her extra for this album she wanted at the last minute. I'm also pretty sure you don't comment on the prices I charge when I give you half of the rent for this gigantic place every month. I still don't see why we had to move out of our old place."

"Once again, may I remind you that your photography business had taken over the entire living room and dining area. Plus, seeing as how we were both starting to become successful I believe it was the time to find a place where we could have our own bathrooms."

"Those were terrible excuses. One, you are so busy with rehearsals and performances you didn't have time to use the living room except for your days off. Two, just because we have the money doesn't mean we need to spend it. Also, the light in this apartment is lousy I can never get a good picture in here without pulling out extra lights."

"I fail to see the point of that argument. There's nothing to take pictures of in the apartment besides me, which we took care of when you bought your first camera. I believe you took thousands of pictures of me just to practice. You know nothing makes me happier than to perform but even that was a bit much."

Quinn sighed, "I don't know why I keep rehashing this issue."

"Neither do I."

Quinn stuck her tongue out. "So, did all of the after parties bore you to death?"

"Yes, you know that I have never liked a large party before. Especially if the people only want my autograph or heap endless amounts of praise on me."

Quinn arched her eyebrow, "That doesn't sound like the Rachel Berry I know."

"I know and I appreciate the praise from the fans and the acknowledgement of my peers but it feels as though they all placed me on a pedestal tonight and were afraid to approach me."

"You know what they say; it's lonely at the top. But don't worry; I'll always be around to take you down a peg or two." Rachel gave Quinn a withering stare, "And if not me, I'm sure Santana would be glad to take you down ten or twenty pegs." Rachel couldn't help but to giggle which caused Quinn to giggle until they dissolved into fits of laughter.

"Speaking of Santana, she asked if they could crash here for a few days while she works out where they're going to stay while she's at NYU Law."

"That's fine. I'd be delighted to spend some time with them again."

The conversation died down while Quinn flipped through television channels.

"Quinn, do you remember what Mr. Schue said after we found out that Ms. Sylvester would be one of the judges at our first Regionals?"

"Hmm, no not really. But, it was probably one of his horribly corny speeches about friends, or life, or something like that. Wait, it was about journeys since we did the Journey medley that year."

"Yes, you are correct. He essentially said that life was one big journey and that was the journey itself was the important part, not the end or the beginning. I think I'm finally beginning to see what he meant that day."

"Just now?"

"Yes, I have always set goals for myself: winning a part, getting to Broadway, winning a Tony. I did it during high school as well: winning a solo, winning Sectionals, winning Regionals, winning Nationals. I was always so focused on that goal that I was willing to do anything to get there. I think I have never truly realized the fact that it's what happened and the people I have met in between those goals is what matters. I think I may have been going about things the wrong way."

"Rachel, stop." Quinn took Rachel's hand and turned to look at her, "I don't think you realize the amount you've changed as a person during the eight years I've known you. If you were still the same person when Glee first started, you wouldn't have made the friends that you did. Yes, I really mean friends, even Santana. You haven't destroyed everyone and everything in your path to a Tony, I know you haven't. You are not the goal seeking, opportunistic diva you once were. Now, you're just a wildly successful, critically acclaimed diva who has a large group of people who truly care about her."

"Thanks Quinn. I just had this horrible feeling that I was ignoring much of what truly mattered in life."

"You know Rachel; you can be just as corny as Mr. Schue ever was."

Rachel stuck her tongue out at Quinn and the conversation died down again while both young women were once again entranced by the changing channels.

"Tired yet Rachel?"

"No, I am not."

"Good, cause there's nothing on TV and I want to watch a movie."

"Anything in particular?"

"No, not really. Go grab us some drinks and snacks while I find something to watch."

Rachel left to do just that and when she returned Quinn was holding up the case to a movie.

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? It sounds familiar but I have not seen it."

"What? Seriously? Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet? It's only one of the greatest rom-com-drams ever made! It's a story about how a person can always find their soul mate no matter what! How, if you're destined to be with someone nothing will stand in your way until you find them!"

"It sounds like a very pleasant movie."

Quinn smiled as she hit play, "Just you wait and see."

* * *

An hour and forty three minutes later Rachel and Quinn were crying their eyes out as they watched the characters played by Carrey and Winslet run through the snow covered beach in the final scene of the movie.

"Why would you make me think this was a happy movie?" Rachel said in between sobs, "I thought you stopped being cruel to me back in high school!"

Quinn started to mix in laughs with her tears, "I never tried to make you think it was a happy movie. You just sort of assumed it was. Plus, would you have wanted to watch it if I told you it would make you bawl like a baby?"

Rachel's tears died down, "No, I suppose not. It was an excellent movie. It was a very realistic portrayal of a relationship minus the whole memory erasure idea."

"You know, I've always wondered if I would ever feel so awful that I would pay to have an entire person erased from my memory."

Rachel looked down for a moment, "I have."

"Rachel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind-"

"No, it's alright. I'm well past the point where it hurts to remember it. But for the first six months I would have gladly had all my memories of Finn erased. Even though we only spent six days in New York together during our trips to Nationals, everything in the city reminded me of him. It was even worse during our final month of school together when I had to see him every day. It hurt so much not to be with him that I would have given up almost anything to make it stop. But now? I would not trade the memories, not even the bad ones, I made with him for anything in the world. A few months of pain are well worth the lifetime of memories I made with Finn."

"Like Joel thought right?"

"Yes, just like Joel."

Silence descended for a moment.

"I think it's time for bed."

"That is a wonderful idea. Goodnight Quinn."

"Night Rachel."

* * *

Rachel always thought it would be harder than this.

She thought she would be more emotional, that she would be crying, that she would be devastated or that maybe she would even feel numb about it, as if she could not believe it was happening.

But she felt none of that during her final performance as Fanny Brice.

It was almost as if she was in a random performance during her year and a half run as Fanny. Yes, Rachel felt sadness that a chapter of her life was closing but it was not overwhelming. Yes, Rachel felt a sense of bittersweet accomplishment at having to leave behind the role she had always dreamed of playing but she found that she was more excited about the fact that she was moving on to the next step of her life. She was a little apprehensive that she hadn't planned out the next step of her life in detail, but she found that she was more excited to know that she did not have a goal set out before her.

Rachel finished her final performance of the reprise of "Don't Rain on My Parade" to great applause and loud cheers. She stood in front of the rest of the cast and took her bows. She swept her arms to her left and right to acknowledge the rest of the cast as they bowed. She took another bow when they all pointed back at her. She looked down at the audience and saw people holding up bouquets of flowers out for her. She took a few steps towards the audience and grabbed two of them and then returned to where she stood before.

She waited for the applause to die down.

"As you all know, this is my final performance as Fanny Brice. I just wanted to say that it has been a pleasure and an honor to play one of my favorite characters of all time in one of my favorite musicals of all time. I hope I have done the character, that my idol Barbra Streisand originated, justice during my run here on _Funny Girl_."

She paused as the cheers and applause restarted and waited patiently for them to die down again.

"I need to thank the entire cast of _Funny Girl_." She used her free right arm to indicate her fellow cast mates standing behind her. "I also need to thank the entire behind the scenes personnel who you never see every night who make this production possible. But most of all," Rachel pointed towards a woman in the audience, "I need to thank our director, Jessica Taylor, who brought this musical to life and selected me for the privilege of playing Fanny Brice."

"Finally," Rachel gestured towards the audience, "I need to thank each and every fan who came to see the show. You are the reason all of this was and is possible."

Rachel took one final bow, turned around and walked off stage to thunderous applause and cheers. She reached her flower filled dressing room and removed her costume for the final time. She sat down in front of the mirror and removed her makeup one last time. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes examined the expressionless face, tracing the familiar lines and curves they saw every day. They saw her mouth crack a small smile which quickly turned into a full grin that reached her eyes, wrinkling the skin beside them.

She was Rachel Berry.

She was a Tony Award winning actress.

Now, she really could do anything.

* * *

A/N 2: Holy time warp Batman! So this isn't the chapter I had originally outlined which is why the story skipped so much ahead. The original chapter always turned into a steaming pile of boring dog turd no matter what I did with it. So, I decided to just cut it out and tweaked the next chapter I had outlined. I'm not too thrilled with this chapter since it contains a crap load of exposition but it's still better than dog turd.

For those who didn't feel like doing the math the 71st Tony Awards will be held early June 2017 which means we're now five years removed from high school graduation.

Rachel's performance at the Tonys was inspired by the YouTube video of Lea at the Tonys which was inspired by Rachel's performance on Glee. Rachel copying Lea copying Rachel, my mind is blown.

Also, I still don't know who this Finn Hudson is.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Once again, thanks to everyone who has read my story and an extra thanks to those who reviewed. Not much more to say.

* * *

Rachel Berry was bored.

Bored, bored, bored.

She had thought that once her run on _Funny Girl_ was over she would be free to do anything she wanted. In one respect that was true, numerous offers from Broadway musicals came in from Tess asking that she take over the female lead and countless offers from just pre-production Off-Broadway and Off-Off-Broadway shows all claiming that their musical would be the next great one. She even had a few television and movie offers that claimed she would be the next "it girl" in Hollywood if she took their role.

The world was finally at her fingertips.

All she had to do was choose which role she wanted to do next and it was almost certainly hers. This, however, was the problem. Rachel could not choose the role she wanted to do next. She did not want to do one of the Broadway shows since none of the currently running shows caught her attention as _Funny Girl_ did and thought that she would be dishonoring the role if she was half wondering about her selection while she was performing it. However, she always came back to the fact that Broadway theaters held the largest audiences which gave her the biggest opportunity to shine.

That was one of the reasons she hadn't accepted an offer from Off or Off-Off Broadway. Rachel still wanted to shine and the place to do that was on Broadway and to be a little honest she had gotten used to the production values on Broadway during her relatively short stint on it. Another reason she hadn't chosen something off Broadway was all the scripts she had read, and she had read quite a few, were very unpolished. She always found a flaw in the script, whether it was stale characters, or poor dialogue or an unappealing plot, or unimaginative music numbers, that made her turn it down.

Moving on to television or movies was appealing since it would allow Rachel to shine even brighter but once again the scripts that she had received were little more than one dimensional, recurring roles on one of the dozens of procedurals on television or a comedic relief, supporting character in movies. Neither of which appealed to her.

Another reason she was not drawn towards Hollywood was her guest appearance on the reboot of Law & Order which had once again tapped the talent of the Broadway stars that performed in their backyard. It wasn't that she hated her appearance on the show. In fact, she loved the week running up to the episode airing when NBC had constantly aired promos for the episode proclaiming that Rachel Berry, Tony Award winning actress, was guest starring. She also loved the part that the writers had created for her, it wasn't often that one was allowed to play an up and coming Broadway talent who was also a serial killer that was murdering her way to the top.

What she disliked was the way television and by extension films were made. It took four 12 hour days to film her parts of the episode but she did not mind the long hours as much as what she did during those hours. Television and film were completely a different species than a musical, there were similarities of course: lines had to be memorized, marks and cues for the blocking/cinematography had to be remembered, and the seemingly endless tedium of repeating the same scenes over and over again. It was the differences that stood out in Rachel's mind.

On Broadway, scripts just were not rewritten the day of the performance. On television it seemed as though a script could and would be changed right up until the moment they filmed it. Not that Rachel minded since her memory was flawless, but it did throw her off slightly the first time it happened. Rachel was also not accustomed to sitting around on set doing almost nothing while scenes that she wasn't in were shot. She ended up watching the scenes being filmed rather than waiting around in the trailer they provided her, since one could always pick up tips and tricks from other actors.

However, the biggest difference was when they actually began to film the episode. Unlike a musical where all the days of rehearsals led to the madness of two to three hour performance, the episode was filmed over the course of four long days. The scenes were filmed out of order since the crew had to adjust to their schedule to the rhythms of the city which made it more difficult for Rachel to feel as though she was her character, since one moment she one moment she was at the end of her character's development and the next she was right back at the beginning. But, it was an excellent test of her acting abilities which she had, of course, passed flawlessly.

Rachel also disliked the fact that they shot each scene multiple times with the actors performing each take differently to give the director options when they were finally cut together. Yes, gave the director the chance to create the best episode as he or she thought fit however it almost made Rachel feel as though she were only a tool to be used and manipulated by the director. It was only the fact that the director of her episode was so excellent that she only realized this after she had wrapped. But, most of all Rachel missed the thrill of performing on stage in front of a live audience.

All of this made her weary of taking a more regular role on television or film. She, however, did not turn down the offer from Law & Order for more appearances. It never hurt anything to have a change of pace everyone once in a while, it kept a role open to her, and she did enjoy working with new people.

Of course, none of this introspection made it any clearer as to which role Rachel would take next.

This eventually earned her a near daily call from Tess.

"Rachel darling, you have dozens and dozens of offers on the table. They won't hold these open for you forever. You need to pick one soon."

"I know. I just need more time."

"Rachel, it's been three months since you ended your run on _Funny Girl_. Besides your guest appearance on Law & Order and the first two performances on the touring production of _Funny Girl_ you haven't taken a single job. You know you cannot afford to continue doing this."

Rachel sighed, "I know but I do have some money saved up and Quinn has told me that she is more than willing to cover my portion of the rent until I decide what to do next."

"You and I both know that dipping into your savings is not a very smart idea and I know you do not want to burden your friend any more than you must."

Rachel sighed. "I know."

"I do have a new offer that I wasn't going to share with you but I think I may need to."

"What is it?"

"It's the second regular for Christine."

"What? Edward would never consider having me play Christine."

"You are correct. There is no reason for you, well known for playing Carlotta, to be playing another role on the same production. However, their second regular has had a family emergency and needs to leave soon. Also, Edward may have also accidentally found out about your situation."

"If that is the case then it is the understudy's job to fill in for her. Also, I do not appreciate you telling Edward about my situation."

"Noted and dismissed. The understudy cannot do it. She just replaced the previous understudy who also recently left so she is not up to speed."

"How would I be any more up to speed than the understudy?"

"You wouldn't. But Edward trusts you. He knows you can do it."

"I don't know…"

"Rachel, this is perfect for you. You will still be able to perform, but you won't be on stage eight times a week with little time to find the role you want to play. It will only be for a month, two at the most. Plus, you will be doing a friend a favor."

Rachel thought it over for a long moment. "Fine, tell Edward I will be his Christine."

"I will do just that. Goodbye darling."

"Goodbye Tess."

Rachel stepped out of her room. "Quinn?"

No answer.

Quinn's schedule had progressively became busier and busier as she added more engagement and wedding shoots until she was booked for months and months in advance. Rachel was thrilled that Quinn was a successful wedding photographer but that left them with less and less time to spend together. Quinn was also spending more time with JD as it appeared their relationship was growing more serious by the day, which also ate into their time together. She was also annoyed that Quinn seemingly had no problem with the reduction of time they spent together. In fact, when Rachel suggested that they coordinate their schedules on matching calendars Quinn had just chuckled and rolled her eyes.

It looked like another lunch and afternoon alone.

Well, not quite alone.

She had made it a daily habit during the small hiatus in her career to take a late lunch at Les Halles while leisurely reading through a few scripts. Carlos and Traci didn't even mind when she stayed at a table during the break between the lunch and dinner service. Rachel knew the wait staff did not mind since she always left a generous tip when she left right before dinner service started.

Of course, she had learned the hard way that she could not just waltz into Les Halles for lunch without a care in the world. The first time she did it there was a horde of paparazzi waiting outside of the restaurant for her to exit, all trying to capture her image to sell. After that she had taken the time to hide her face with extremely fashionable sunglasses and a light scarf that complemented her outfit and skin tone perfectly, at least that is what Kurt told her when he put together multiple outfits for her. Something about a Tony Award winning actress shouldn't been seen in the outfits she had been wearing. There were a few times that the paparazzi had spotted her while she was in disguise but more often than not it worked and she was able to have lunch in peace.

That is what she had on when she stepped up to the host station at Les Halles.

"Ms. Berry, welcome back to Les Halles."

"Traci, why do you always have to be so formal?"

"It is my job."

"Can you at least call me Rachel?"

"Non, I cannot. You are a Tony Award winning actress. It would be improper."

Rachel sighed at Traci's impeccable French manners. "My usual table?"

Traci grimaced. "I'm sorry, it is not available. A large bus of tourists came in ten minutes ago and we had to distribute them amongst the more seasoned waiters. I can seat you in a secluded booth but you will have an inexperienced waiter."

"That will be fine." Rachel smiled, "Perhaps I can give him some tips about being a waiter here."

Traci laughed and escorted Rachel to her table, "He would be wise to use them. Let me know if he gives you any problems" Traci left her a menu, "Bon appétit."

Rachel picked up the menu and slowly flipped through it, looking to see if anything on it had changed. Nothing did. The menu at Les Halles rarely changed since it was a brasserie, simple French cuisine day in and day out.

"Hi." The voice was familiar, "Welcome to Les Halles." But it couldn't be, "My name is Finn and I'll be your waiter today." It was. "Today's specials are…" Rachel zoned out while Finn described the day's specials and only had two thoughts running through her mind over and over again: What was Finn doing in New York and why hadn't anyone told her?

Rachel, using her dark sunglasses to her advantage, stared at Finn as he continued on about the specials. He looked almost the same as she remembered, but that wasn't strange. Everyone from high school was still young and five years would make no difference on their faces. He even had the same facial expressions. Rachel had to stifle a giggle when she saw his face scrunch up in effort to remember the last special of the day.

It appeared that he was more fit. Rachel assumed that had to do with his football days at Ohio State. His shirt clung tighter to his body and showed evidence of a more muscular chest. He had also lost most, if not all, of the fat around his stomach he had in high school. From what she could tell, his arms had also benefited since they looked thicker and stronger. In short, Finn looked good. Really good.

His eyes had changed though. Not physically of course. But they seemed to have lost the shine they used to have back in high school. They no longer held the look of an innocent, naïve, high school teenager. They seemed harder, as if five years of college had stripped away the wide eyed innocence he once had and replaced it with real world pragmatism. Rachel tried to ignore the tiny voice in her head that couldn't help but wonder if she was the ultimate cause.

"Excuse me miss, did you want something to drink besides water?"

"Finn, it's me." A blank look, "It's Rachel." She pulled down her scarf, removed her sunglasses, and saw a stunned look of recognition.

"Rachel? Wha- What are you doing here?"

"I believe I am about to have lunch." The banter came too easily to Rachel, which surprised her a bit.

Not that Finn noticed. "But, this is a French restaurant. There's like nothing vegan on the menu!" Rachel rolled her eyes, leave it to Finn to think about the food, "Wait, unless you stopped being vegan. Can you even do that?"

"No, I am still a devout follower of veganism." Rachel couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. She had become a PETA spokeswoman and in many of her interviews she spoke strongly about her vegan philosophy. Apparently, Finn hadn't kept tabs on her at all, but she couldn't blame him for that and it wasn't as if she had kept up with his life much.

"Uh. I guess you can have the French onion soup? No wait, that has cheese in it. Can you have cheese? I forget."

Rachel laughed. "Finn, go to your station and under the specials section there should be an item called 'RB.' Order that for me and an iced tea please."

"Huh, I wondered what that was for. I even asked Tim about it but all he told me was that it was a special item for a special person that I'd be lucky to catch a glimpse of." She saw his half smile for the first time in over four years and was glad to feel no reaction, "I should have known it was you, you always were special."

"Feeling lucky now that you've seen me?" The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to think.

Finn wordlessly moved his jaw up and down a few times before he recovered.

"I'll uhh, put in your order and be right back with your drink."

Rachel closed her eyes and buried her face into her hands for a long moment hoping that she could disappear into them. Or at the very least stop her mouth from producing sounds without her permission.

She lifted her head in time to see Finn walking back with her drink.

"Here you go, iced tea. Can I get you anything else?"

"No, I'm fine for now."

An awkward silence.

Rachel took the initiative, just as she always had. "It's been a long time since we've seen each other. How have you been?"

"I've been good. Graduated from school a month ago and bummed around Lima with Puck for a bit before moving out here."

"What was your major?"

"Music theory and composition." A sheepish grin, "It was a lot harder than it sounded."

"Really? Is that why you're in New York then?"

"Yea, kind of. I guess you could say I'm looking for a job in my industry." Finn looked up, "Uh, I better get back to work I think Traci is getting mad at me."

Rachel looked towards the host station to see Traci glaring in their direction and giggled. "That would not be a good thing."

"Talk to you later I guess."

Rachel's eyes followed Finn as he walked off to see to the other tables in his section. She thought their first meeting in over four years had gone surprisingly well seeing how things had ended between them. She had hoped there would not be any lingering resentment on Finn's side when they did finally see each other again and was pleased to find that there was not. Although, it seemed to have been replaced with a sort of indifference since he hadn't asked her a single question that wasn't related to his job. She couldn't decide which was worse.

Rachel's thoughts were interrupted by a French accent. "Was the new waiter bothering you? I can fire him immediately."

"What? No, no. We know each other from high school. We were just taking a moment to catch up."

"Good. For a second I thought he recognized you and was bothering you about auditions and the like. I cannot have wait staff annoying certain customers and ignoring the rest."

"No, it was nothing of the sort."

"Are you sure? His section is not busy and Carlos would not mind at all."

"It's fine Traci. It's good to see him again. I promise."

"Very well, enjoy your meal."

"I always do."

Rachel looked over to see Finn, waving his long arms around, entertaining an older couple and she wondered what he would think if he knew how close he was to being fired on the spot. She shrugged a little and pulled out a few scripts from unknown writers to read while she waited for her food to arrive. After all, one never knew if one would find the next great musical hidden in a pile of scripts.

After another extremely long and leisurely lunch, Rachel had switched to hot tea with lemon and honey and her old _Phantom_ script, still in pristine condition of course, to begin memorizing the lines and visualizing the blocking for Christine. It was never too early to start preparing for the role.

"So uh, Rachel do you want the check or something? Not that I'm trying to rush you or anything but lunch service is almost finished and we have to get the front of the house ready for dinner service."

"It's ok Finn, Traci knows about me and my long lunches. She's fine with me staying here until dinner service starts. I just move to a different table when you need to turn this one over."

"I guess that's a perk of being a Tony Award winner right?"

Rachel's head shot up to look at Finn. "I didn't think you knew about that."

"Kinda hard not to notice when everyone from Glee was spamming Facebook and Twitter about your win."

"Oh. I guess it would have been difficult to not hear about it then. But it is not a perk of being a Tony Award winner. It is a perk of being a former staff member here at Les Halles. Well, it is probably a combination of the two actually."

"You worked here? Seriously?"

"Yes, Finn. I was a waiter for a year and a half."

"Huh. I guess I always thought with your talent you'd get to New York and be on stage the next night like you always said."

"That was an idealistic dream of a teenager. Real life is a much harsher place, filled with hard work, plenty of failed auditions, and hard luck."

"Yea," He turned his head away from Rachel and got a distant look on his face, "Life outside of high school is a lot harsher. It's where the hopes and dreams of the young go to die."

Rachel was stunned. "That was very poetic, in a sad, soul crushing way. But poetic nonetheless."

Finn turned to grin at her. "I took a lot of English classes."

Tim walked up. "Oh my God. Kill me now. Please, Rachel. I beg you."

"Why must I kill you now Tim?"

"The tourists. They're from some Midwest state. The questions never end. They all ask the same things over and over again: What was the last special? What was the first special? What's beef bourguignon? What's the most French dish on the menu? Why are french fries called frites? Why can't I get clam chowder?"

Rachel looked over at Tim's section. "It appears that they are preparing to leave. Killing you now would no longer be useful and you would be missing out on the tips they are leaving."

"Damn you and your logic." He gestured towards Finn, "I see you've met our new giant of a waiter here."

"We actually know each other from high school."

"What?" Tim's head whipped around, "Finn Hudson, you knew the great Rachel Berry back when she was in high school?" He grinned, "I need stories man. No, scratch that. We, the staff at Les Halles, need stories. A lot of stories. Her exploits. Her successes. Her failures. We need it all!"

"I'm kind of surprised that she hasn't told you all of that already since you usually can't get her to stop talking."

"He does know you." Tim's grin got even bigger, "This is going to be fucking awesome." Rachel buried her face in her hands for a different reason.

"Be right back. I need to go collect some cash, but it's story time when I get back."

Rachel looked up to find Finn looking at her with a serious expression on his face.

"Don't worry Rachel. I won't tell him anything you don't want me to."

"It's fine Finn. Tim and I dated for about eight months, he knows quite a bit about me already. But, I believe he only wants embarrassing stories of me since I've sworn Quinn and Kurt to secrecy."

"You guys dated?"

"Yes."

Finn wore a curious expression on his face. "You guys seem pretty close."

"Our separation was amicable and mutual. I was adjusting to my first major role and had no time for a serious relationship and he felt that we worked better as friends. There were some awkward moments at first but as you can see our friendship has survived."

"Oh. That's uh, great for you guys."

Rachel couldn't help but be forward.

"Finn, I know our separation was not as amicable. But, I would like it if we could be friends again."

"Uh, I guess being friends can't hurt." He winced, "Sorry, bad choice of words."

"No, it's ok. I understand that I caused you a great deal of pain and I would have understood if you did not want to be friends."

Finn shrugged. "It's been five years. Plus I kind of missed talking with you the last year and a half."

Rachel sat there a bit stunned, she would have never imagined that Finn would want to be friends again after what she did. Wait.

"Why the last year and a half?"

"Uh you know, you won your Tony. I wanted to see if you were enjoying living out your dreams."

Rachel's sixth sense was telling her that Finn was lying. But it had been four years since she had seen him so it was probably rusty and there was no reason to doubt Finn's word.

"You could have always texted or called."

A sheepish grin appeared on his face. "I deleted your number."

"Oh. Completely understandable." Rachel motioned for Finn to pull out his phone and she gave her information to him. "Now you can call or text me at any time."

"I did try to message and re-friend you on Facebook but you never got back to me."

"Yes. I gave up on Facebook the day I opened my account and saw I had 500 new friend requests and 1,000 new messages. I loved the attention but did not have the time to maintain the account. I can see why celebrities employ people to maintain their social media accounts. It can quickly turn into a full time job."

"Yea I figured that when you stopped updating. Uh, Traci is glaring at me again. I guess I better go help turn tables."

"Wait, where's Finn going? It's story time!"

"He had to help turn tables. He is the new waiter after all."

"Being the fucking new guy sucks."

"Yes, being the FNG has many disadvantages."

"So, what was up between you two? You've got some weird vibe with him. Unrequited love on one side? On both sides? Bad timing? Star crossed lovers?"

Rachel lowered her head and her voice. "I broke his heart a month before we graduated."

Tim immediately became serious. "That would definitely cause a weird vibe. But at least it looks like you two can talk normally."

"Yes, I am grateful for that."

"Do you want me to not ask him any questions?"

"No, it's fine. Now that you know, I'm sure you will avoid certain subjects." A pause. "What number is he?"

"This is his first day so he's unranked. But from what I've seen he'll do pretty well."

"I am not surprised. Finn has always had charisma, people would always follow him."

"Can't seem to sell wine though."

Rachel laughed. "Finn never did like the taste of wine when we tried it. He always said it tasted like rotten grapes. Perhaps I will give him some pointers regarding selling wine."

"Hey, not too many. I'd like to keep my top 5 ranking."

Rachel watched as Finn turned over a few tables.

"Do you know what he's doing in New York?"

"Surprisingly, no. Unlike every other aspiring whatever we have here he doesn't brag about how he'll be the next big thing."

Rachel's curiosity was piqued which she knew could be a dangerous thing but there was nothing to be done about it at that moment.

"I think I'll be heading out now."

"So soon?"

"Yes, I have just chosen a new role and I need to prepare myself for rehearsals tomorrow."

"Took you long enough. What is it?"

"Christine from _Phantom_."

"_Phantom_ again?"

"It is only temporary while I find something more permanent."

"That mean no more long lunches?"

"I will stop by when I can, but yes, this means I cannot spend every day here."

"Boo."

"Leaving Rachel?"

"Yes Finn, I need to begin preparing for my new role."

"I'll go grab your check."

"Wait," Rachel pulled out her purse and slid out a credit card, "Just charge it to this." She pulled out a few bills and placed them on the table. She carefully replaced her _Phantom_ script back in her bag and waited for Finn to return with the receipt. She also ignored a bored Tim who was poking her on the arm.

"Here you go Rachel, just need you to sign this for me."

"Your tip is on the table." Rachel said while she signed.

"Whoa, that's a lot."

"Anything for my new favorite waiter here at Les Halles."

"What? I've been replaced that easily?"

"It is a difficult business Tim. Perhaps you should stop poking your customers in the arm for no reason." She slid her card back into place, put her purse back in her bag and stood up, "I'll come back when my schedule allows me to."

She listened to their fading voices as she walked towards the exit.

"So, give me a story."

"Uh, during our first trip to Nationals. Wait, she told you all about Glee right? Well, during that trip Artie found her in front of the ice machine at the hotel-"

She stepped through the doors of Les Halles, raised her head to look at the sky, and asked herself, "Why was it always that story?"

A short train ride and walk later, Rachel stepped into her apartment where she found Quinn fiddling with one of her many cameras.

"Quinn, would you like to guess who I ran into during my lunch at Les Halles today?"

A nervous look quickly appeared on Quinn's face. "No, I don't think so."

"It was Finn!" The nervous look quickly turned into a grimace, "How could you not tell me that he was in New York, much less working at the place where I have eaten lunch every day for months!"

"Hey, he didn't tell us which restaurant he was working at. He just said he found a job as a waiter."

"Us? Kurt knew too didn't he?"

"Of course Kurt knew. They're brothers, not to mention his roommate now." The next sentence tumbled out of her mouth so quickly that Rachel could barely understand it. "Santana-and-Brittany-knew-too." Quinn quickly closed her eyes as if she expected Rachel to explode.

Rachel glared at Quinn until she saw the blonde peak at her out of one eye.

"How'd it go?"

"Perhaps it was the shock from seeing each other without warning, but it was not awkward at all."

"Time heals all wounds or whatever."

"I suppose." Rachel sighed, "Why am I always the last one to know things when it comes to Finn?"

"Because we all love you so much?"

Rachel glared at her roommate. "That is a terrible reason. I'll be in my room practicing."

* * *

True to her word, Rachel stopped coming by for lunch since rehearsals once again took up all of her time. Edward knew what she was capable of on stage and he demanded that and more every rehearsal. He cut her no slack for being a friend since her role now was even more important than the one she held previously. Not that Rachel would ever ask for an easier time but she did miss her leisurely lunches which were now replaced with a harried 15 minute break where everyone tried to cram as much food and water down their throats as possible. They would not get another break for hours.

Eventually, after two weeks even Edward had to begrudgingly admit that Rachel was ready to perform as Christine and dismissed her from mandatory rehearsals. The new understudy was not as lucky, she would be rehearsing until Rachel left the production again if Edward had his way. Since, she was the second regular she was only scheduled to perform three times a week which left her time to happily resume her lunches at Les Halles.

"Is that all he does between lunch and dinner service?"

"Yea, he usually sits at a table typing away on his laptop while listening to something on it, music I guess since he starts nodding his head every once in a while. He starts as soon as he finishes cleaning up from lunch and doesn't stop until the staff dinner."

"He seems very focused."

"Yea, not even Taylor can distract him. And she's been trying, a lot." Taylor was Les Halles' young, blonde, and very curvaceous bartender who liked to flirt with all of the male wait staff.

"Interesting." Rachel's curiosity was once again piqued as to what Finn was doing in New York, this time she resolved to do something about it. "I'll be right back."

She walked over to an intense looking Finn who didn't take notice of her at all. She could hear strains of music coming from his earbuds as she approached him.

"Finn."

What she heard sounded familiar.

"Finn!"

She pulled out one of his atrocious Apple earbuds, which sufficiently gained his attention.

"Rachel! What're you doing?"

"I was curious as to what you were working on."

A look of panic quickly shot over his face as he closed the screen on the laptop. "Uh, it's nothing. Just something random, not very interesting at all."

Rachel's sixth sense was going haywire telling her that he was lying.

"Okay. What were you listening to? It sounded very familiar."

Another familiar look passed over his face. "Uh, just some random stuff. Top 40 hits and stuff."

She knew that look. It was the same look that he gave her while they were dating when he was trying to hide the fact he was doing something he was not supposed to be doing.

She narrowed her eyes. "Finn Hudson, are you doing something illegal?"

"What? No!"

She restrained herself from digging any further. If Finn didn't want to tell her what he was doing then she had to be fine with it. It was no longer her place to know everything about Finn's life.

"Finn, you know you can talk to me about anything right?"

He wordlessly worked his jaw a few times. "I know. This is just something I have to do for myself. You know?"

"I understand completely. Can you at least tell me how long you've been working on it?"

"Uh, it's been a few years I guess."

"It must be important if you've been working on it for that long."

"Yea, it is."

"I will let you get back to work then."

A half smile. "Thanks, Rachel."

She walked back.

"Learn anything interesting?"

"No, Tim. I did not."

"Leaving soon?"

She checked her watch. "Yes, in a few minutes."

"Perfect. We, your friends at the front of the house, have a surprise for you." Her eyes followed Tim as he got up, ran to the bar and whispered something in Taylor's ear. Taylor laughed and ducked under the bar. He made his way over to Finn and yanked an earbud out to whisper something in his ear. Finn's eyes quickly glanced towards Rachel and he started to laugh as well. None of this boded well.

She heard the familiar strains of Queen's "Under Pressure" begin to play over the restaurant speakers.

Correction. She heard the strains of Vanilla Ice's "Ice, Ice Baby" begin to play and sighed to herself.

The entire front of the house staff came out from where ever they were taking their break and began to rap along. Terribly she might add. Very terribly.

She had never once considered the thought that she would actually miss Mr. Schue's rapping until this very moment.

Rachel buried her face into her hands and shook her head from side to side willing them to stop as they all came over to her table and serenaded her with the refrain.

It didn't work.

* * *

Her two month stint at _Phantom_ went by quickly as she developed a new pattern for her week. After she had finished her morning routine she would skim a script or two until she went to Les Halles for a late lunch where she would chat with Tim and Finn as lunch service slowed down and Finn went off to type when service ended. Quinn and JD even joined her once in a while for lunch when their schedules allowed it. She then went to assist Edward with the _Phantom_ rehearsal.

On the days when she had to perform the matinee she skipped lunch at Les Halles for a much quicker one at her apartment so she could get to the theater with plenty of time to spare. What wasn't skipped was a daily text conversation with Finn over the phone. One day he had texted her out of the blue on one of her days off and their text conversation had taken on a life of its own. They kept the lighthearted and joking topics for when they could see and physically talk with each other. But their texts quickly turned into a more personal nature after a few comments on how their days went.

She knew this was a dangerous path to walk down but it came so easily. Quinn was just as absent as always and Kurt was extremely busy as a staff writer for Vogue so neither of them were available to talk to. Tim avoided serious conversations like the plague and only had them when they were absolutely needed so he was unavailable as well. She didn't even consider Santana or Brittany as options for a serious conversation.

It was so easy for her to fall back into the pattern they had in high school where she could and would talk to Finn about anything and everything. Except for one thing. Neither one of them appeared willing to break the seal on the topic of relationships, others in past, present prospects, or future possibilities. While Rachel was quite willing to talk with Finn about this topic, she was not sure what his feelings about it were. She didn't know how scabbed over his wounds were and she did not want to reopen them. She had gained some tact over the years and was willing to avoid the subject for as long as he wanted. For the first time in their friendship, Rachel was content with letting Finn take the initiative.

Before she knew it she was right back to taking a daily lunch at Les Halles reading through scripts as she searched for a new part.

"No Tess, I don't want that role."

"But it would be perfect for you darling!"

"Tess, I will not take that role."

"Rachel, you know people are starting to talk."

"Talk about what?"

"How you are becoming very spoiled."

"Let them talk then. You and I both know that has nothing to do with why I will not take a new role."

"I know that. But you know how this business works. People start to talk about how difficult you are and your offers will vanish in an instant."

"That's impossible. Everyone I have worked with knows I am not difficult to work with. I mean not any more difficult than the next person."

"Darling, it's about perception. We can't have you sitting around for another three months doing basically nothing."

Rachel sighed.

"Law & Order would like you to come back for their season premiere. It's quite the honor."

"I'll do it."

"Perfect. They begin shooting in two weeks. I'll have a courier deliver you the script."

Two weeks and a frantic four days later Rachel walked back into Les Halles for lunch. Her eyes scanned the front of the house after she was seated for her two favorite waiters whom she hadn't seen while she was filming her episode and found one of them missing. Perhaps Finn was sick. She would have to text him while she was eating.

"Where's Finn? Is he sick?"

"What? He quit. I thought he would've told you."

"He quit? He didn't mention this to me."

"Yea, he gave a week's notice and his last day was your second day on Law & Order. I'm really surprised he didn't tell you."

"I am surprised as well."

Rachel couldn't concentrate on the scripts she had brought with her and only poked at the dish that was placed in front of her taking only two or three bites until she pushed it away.

Tim came by, fished her purse out of her bag, and removed a credit card. "I think you're done with your meal."

"Thank you Tim."

He came back with the receipt which she quickly signed.

"Don't be too hard on him." She heard him say as she left for the apartment Finn shared with Kurt.

Rachel stepped up to their door and began knocking.

She heard a female voice approaching the door. It was familiar.

The door opened slightly and Santana Lopez looked at Rachel for a moment before opening the door all the way to let her in. She was on the phone arguing with someone and gave Rachel a questioning look before shrugging and walking away.

Rachel closed the door behind her and followed Santana into the stylishly decorated apartment.

"Look, just take the damn notes for me Jacob. It's not like you have anything better to do in that class."

Santana hung up, tossed her phone on to the kitchen table, and gestured to Rachel to take a seat.

"What's up Man-Hands?"

"I'm here to see Finn."

"Course you are. He's in the shower. He'll be out in a second."

Rachel's eyes widened slightly at the comment and she finally realized the condition Santana was in. Her hair was disheveled, the clothes she wore were wrinkled and slightly out of place, and her cheeks were flushed. Rachel couldn't believe that she had just walked into the aftermath of an afternoon lovemaking session between Santana and Finn. She definitely should have called or texted him before coming over.

Not that she had any reason to, but she wondered when this had all started. She supposed Santana and Brittany's relationship would be quite open but Finn had never mentioned anything about finding Santana anything more than physically attractive. Although, she supposed four years of college together would have changed things.

"Earth to Berry. Earth to Berry. Wake the fuck up."

"What? Oh, sorry Santana I was lost in thought."

Santana gave Rachel a questioning look. "I asked you what you wanted with Finn."

"He quit his job all of a sudden and never mentioned it to me. I just came by to see why."

"Yea, don't you know? He quit his job because-" She pursed her lips, "You know what? I can't tell you why he quit. He'll have to do that."

"What? Why can't you tell me?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Because it's fucking personal. If he wants to tell you, he'll tell you."

"Who are you yelling at now Santana? Oh, hey Rachel what's up?"

She looked up to see Finn with an embarrassed look walking towards them with nothing on but a towel wrapped around his waist. Her earlier observations were correct; Finn had lost what little fat he had and gained even more muscle tone across his entire body. Finn Hudson had become even better looking than before. She couldn't help but stare as Finn disappeared down a hall.

"Berry, you're drooling."

Rachel's hand instinctively went to her chin and found it to be completely dry.

"Very funny Santana."

"Yea, it was. You know what else was funny? The way you were staring at Finnocence there like a piece of meat, but I guess for you it'd be a piece of tofu."

"I was doing no such thing."

"Relax. I get that Finn has become a fine piece of ass and there's no reason you can't look."

Rachel felt her cheeks heat up. "It's not polite to stare at someone like that."

"Oh please, it's not like-"

"Hey, what's up Rachel? What're you doing here?" Finn said as he came back with clothes on.

"I came to speak with you."

"And that's my cue to get the hell out of here." Santana said as she got up to leave.

Rachel waited until Santana had left before she continued.

"Finn, why did you not tell me that you were going to quit?"

"I don't really know why I didn't tell you." He took a deep breath, "I guess I was nervous?"

"What could have possibly made you nervous about telling me?"

"Uh, I guess you've always kinda made me nervous. I mean you get all aggressive and persistent and stuff."

"Why would I have a reason to do that?"

"I kinda got an offer in the industry I was hoping to get into."

"That's great! I'm happy for you!"

"Thanks."

"I still don't understand why you couldn't tell me."

"It's not a very firm offer. I just didn't want to get people's hopes up. You know how this city is; one moment you're on top of the world and the next you can't afford the rent."

"You told Santana."

He shrugged. "I kinda had to."

Rachel knew at that moment that no matter how much they texted or talked with each other, Finn would never again tell her everything that was on his mind. The bottom fell out from her stomach. She had to get out of his apartment as fast as possible.

"I think I'll be leaving now."

"You sure you don't want to stay for some tea or something? Kurt has tons of it for some reason."

"No, that's ok. I'm sure you have plenty to do for your new job."

"You still stopping by Les Halles every day?"

"Just until I find a new part."

"Cool, maybe I'll stop by."

All she could do was nod as she made her escape from the apartment.

* * *

A/N 2: Oh, that's who Finn Hudson is. It's good to finally meet him isn't it?

I wanted to get this out yesterday but got completely distracted by miggy posting her (his?) senior year story in his (her?) Most-verse. It's a much more realistic future-fic starring Rachel and Kurt. Go read it. It's infinitely better than the drivel I write. miggy dot livejournal dot com


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks to everyone who read my drivel and to those who took the time to write a review I hope my messages back are enough.

* * *

Life went on for Rachel.

Reading lackluster scripts over lunch.

Chatting with Tim during and after lunch, with Quinn and JD when she got home.

A daily phone call from Tess.

Daily texts with Finn that didn't seem to mean as much anymore.

For a month this was Rachel's life again.

"Rachel, you have a package. I'm leaving it on the living room table." A thud as the package hit the table, "I've got an engagement shoot to get to but I'll be back for dinner."

"Thank you Quinn, see you later."

Rachel stepped out her bedroom and poured herself a glass of orange juice in the kitchen before she walked into the living room.

The package was from Tess. It was probably another script for her to look at. She weighed the pros and cons of opening it compared to turning on the TV.

The television won.

After an hour of flipping through channels she couldn't figure out why the television had won, network daytime television was terrible and the cable networks were filled with mindless reality shows. She looked at the package and decided it couldn't hurt to read a script now since she still had plenty of time before she needed to leave for lunch and very little to do.

The package was lighter than usual. Usually Tess waited until she had a few scripts for Rachel to read before she sent them over. She guessed that Tess thought there was no reason for her to immediately send over every script just to have Rachel decline the role.

She opened the package and pulled out a single script held together with a binder clip. There was no title page which was a bit strange, just a Post-it stuck to the first page with Tess's elegant cursive that read, "This is it." She pulled off the Post-it and began to read.

* * *

Curtains open, stage is dark.

Followspot on KATE MITCHELL standing stage right facing center upstage.

KATE  
(Bright, cheery, confident)

My name is KATE MITCHELL and I'll be singing "On My Own" from the seminal Broadway classic _Les Mis_. You might laugh because every time I sign my name I put a gold star after it, but it's a metaphor. And metaphors are important. My gold stars are a metaphor. For me. Being a star.

KATE turns to face audience, KATE sings shortened version of "On My Own," KATE turns to face center upstage.

Followspot off KATE. Followspot on JOSH WILLIAMS standing stage left facing center upstage.

JOSH  
(Melancholy but with conviction)

Uh hi, my name is JOSH WILLIAMS and I'm gonna sing "Can't Fight This Feeling." I know this isn't the most popular thing to be doing and everyone who does it is a loser but we're all losers at this school, even me, the starting quarterback. Out of everyone in this school maybe half will go to college and two will go out of state. I'm not afraid of being called a loser because that's who I am and this is what I want to do.

JOSH turns to face audience, JOSH sings shortened version of "Can't Fight This Feeling," JOSH turns to face center upstage.

Followspot off JOSH. Followspot on WILLIAM SCHWARTZ sitting in front of table center upstage facing audience.

WILLIAM  
(Happily)

Great. Welcome to Glee.

Followspot off WILLIAM. Curtains close.

* * *

Rachel stared at the page she had just finished reading.

This wasn't possible.

She quickly skimmed the script as she rapidly flipped through the pages.

A gay fashionista.

"Somebody to Love."

A loud female African-American diva.

"Faithfully."

A dancing Asian.

"To Sir, with Love."

A wheelchair bound student.

"The Only Exception."

Football players.

"Just the Way You Are."

Cheerleaders.

"Don't Stop Believin'."

Rachel dropped the script on the table and sat back on the couch, disbelief filling her entire body. This was literally her high school life condensed into a three act, two and a half hour musical. She picked up the script and read through it again, more slowly this time.

The first act was an introduction to the main characters, the club, and their social status within school. The second act was the story of Kurt's bullying episode minus his transfer to Dalton, it even had Blaine's counterpart as a fellow student in the fictional Patrick Henry High School. It also contained a subplot where the cheerleading coach wanted to shut the club down and succeeded, but blackmailed the principal into allowing the club to resume their activities. Rachel gasped as she read as Burt's heart attack and Kurt's amazing rendition of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" would be used as the heart wrenching conclusion to the act. The third act returned the focus back to the club and the script ended with a performance at Nationals without mentioning if the club had won or lost.

Interwoven in all of this was the love story between the two leads, Kate and Josh, who were obviously the counterparts for her and Finn. It included many of the highs and lows of their actual relationship and many of the poignant moments they had shared, including their first time together during Nationals. As she read the story she saw why Quinn and the rest of Glee believed her relationship with Finn was a fairy tale. They were opposite ends of the social ladder meeting and connecting through song, whose trials only made their connection stronger. Their relationship had really been a fairy tale, except for the ending.

As her disbelief slowly faded, two thoughts came to mind. The first was that came to mind as she reread the script for the third time was that it was good. No, not just good, it was an excellent script. Of course, there were a few scenes and some dialogue that had to be reworked but the foundation was all there: deep characters, an engaging plot, and excellent, if not original, music. It was unique, there was nothing on or that had been on Broadway that was like it. There was no doubt in Rachel's mind that this was the diamond in the rough that she had been searching for.

Secondly and perhaps more importantly, she wondered who had written this script. She knew whoever had written this had to have been in Glee. There were too many details that were only known to the members of New Directions for it have been written by someone who had only attended their school. But, there were details in the script that no one person in Glee could know. Whoever had written this had to have asked everyone else for help, everyone but her.

Her mind raced through the possibilities: Artie had gotten into medical school so he had no time; Tina was a fifth year senior and was too busy trying to graduate; Quinn and Kurt were busy with their jobs and they would have told her if they were writing a script like this; Puck, Mike, Sam, and Mercedes did not have it in them to write something like this; Santana and Brittany were quickly dismissed for different reasons.

This left Finn, Mr. Schue, and herself. Obviously, she did not write this unless the talent inside of her made her write this and send it to Tess while she was sleeping, possible but highly unlikely. That left Mr. Schue and Finn. Mr. Schue was the obvious choice since he would be trusted by all of his formers students to tell their collective story and he was creative enough to have written the script. But, she couldn't shake the feeling that it was actually Finn that had written the play and the more Rachel thought about it the more it made sense. The feeling was bolstered by the fact that if Mr. Schue had in fact written it, he would have asked her about her experience and she couldn't say the same about Finn.

Rachel picked up her phone and dialed. She wouldn't make that mistake again.

"Hey Rachel, what's up?"

"Hello Finn, I was wondering if you were busy?"

"Nope, I'm not doing anything now that Santana left."

"Oh, may I come over?"

"Sure, I'll get some tea ready for you."

"Thank you Finn. I'll be there soon."

Fifteen minutes later Rachel was once again knocking on the door to the apartment that Finn shared with Kurt. The door opened to reveal Finn, thankfully fully dressed this time.

"Hey Rachel, come in."

Rachel made her way to the kitchen table.

"Finn, may I ask you about something?

"Hey, let's go sit in the living room."

Rachel changed directions to head to the living room and took a seat on the couch where she found high school memories messily laid out across the table in front of her.

"Finn, why do you have our old sheet music out?" Her eyes scanned the pages and she smiled as she recognized the notes, words, and titles she saw. Her smile only grew wider as she realized that the pages in front of her were the same songs that were used in the script she had just read. Off to the right side were a few piles of sheet music written in pencil that looked much newer than the printed copies on the left. The music was for the same songs but arranged differently, they were much more intricate than what they had ever done in high school. Rachel took a moment to imagine the songs being sung in the new arrangements and found that they would sound very good, in most cases better than their high school counterparts.

"Oh crap, I forgot I had those out." Finn set a cup of tea down on a coaster, "Uh, it's nothing Rachel. Sometimes I just feel like looking them over." Finn took a seat next to Rachel, "You know, remembering the times, good and bad, we had." He ran a hand through his hair, "Man, I sound so stupid."

"No, not at all, I understand the feeling. It was an incredibly important period during our lives that shaped who we are."

Finn began to gather the pages into one messy pile.

"Finn, you shouldn't do that. You wouldn't want to have the pages out of order. Here, let me help."

"Thanks Rachel, you were always way more organized than me."

The only sound made in the apartment for the next few minutes was rustling paper as Rachel helped Finn organize the sheet music, except for the small squeak that came from Rachel when Finn's hand brushed hers which drew a funny look from Finn.

"Hey, you said you wanted to talk with me about something?"

"Yes, I received a script today that was quite interesting."

"That's cool, but uh, I don't get why you had to tell me."

"Oh yes, I believe I have discovered what you were working on." A look of panic appeared on Finn's face, "With what I have seen on your table and the look on your face just now, you have confirmed that you were the one who wrote the script I received."

Finn laughed unconvincingly. "You're crazy Rachel. There's no way I wrote a script."

"Finn, I don't know why you choose to lie to me. I know that you wrote the script."

"Rachel, I didn't write the script."

Rachel narrowed her eyes. "One, the script had to have been written by a member of New Directions or Mr. Schue. Two, everyone trusted you so they would have no problem detailing their experiences with Glee to you. Three, you had all of the songs that were used in the script spread out on the table when I came in. Finally and most importantly, the script is filled with my thoughts on what I went through while we were in Glee and you are the only one who I have discussed that with."

Finn rubbed a hand over his face. "Are you mad with me?"

"No, I am not angry with you. I am slightly disappointed that you never told me about this."

"I'm sorry. It's just that we haven't talked to each other for so long."

Rachel slightly flinched as if she was about to be hit, but she quickly recovered.

"We have been talking again with each other for months now."

Finn picked up and opened the soda he had brought with him and took a long sip before putting it down again.

"Rachel, if I told you about this, what would you have done?"

"I would have done anything to help you with your script and with my contacts in the industry the process would have been much faster."

"Yea, I get that. But that's not what I wanted. I know you're all kinds of awesome when you're trying to help your friends but I didn't want you to do this for me."

"Why not?"

"I wanted it to stand up on its own. I didn't want you to come, swoop in, and get it made because of who you are if it was a stupid script."

"Finn, I would never disrespect Broadway, if your script was not well written I would not help you get it on Broadway, perhaps Off-Broadway, but never on Broadway. But, that point is moot since it is an excellent script, so I will gladly help you."

"I, uh, don't need your help, not that I wouldn't appreciate it, but we've got enough backers and an Off-Off- Broadway theater to show it at. We just need to- Wait, you like the script?"

"Yes, it is an excellent script, one of the best I have ever read. While I know our high school lives were not normal, I never realized how dramatic our lives were."

"Yea, from some of the stuff we went through it was almost like we were on a TV show or something."

"What made you decide to write it?"

"You know how you told me about all those Broadway musicals, made me listen to their soundtracks, and made me watch all of those classic movies when we were dating?"

"Yes, they are some of the best pieces of work ever created."

"Yea, I get that. But, when I was doing _Rent_ at school-"

"You did musical theater at school?"

"Oh, yea. Santana pissed off too many people in the a cappella group, got kicked out and dragged me with her. I needed to find something else to do where I could sing and you were always talking about musicals so I tried out and got a part." He smiled, "It was a lot harder than you ever made it look."

"Who did you play on _Rent_?"

"Oh, I was Roger."

"That's very impressive! Roger is an important character."

"Yea I know, but I was the understudy. I only got on stage a few times but it was really cool when I got the chance."

"Yes, there is nothing like performing on stage in front of an audience."

Finn nodded. "So yea, when I was doing _Rent,_ I started to think about musicals in general and how a lot of them seemed kinda sad at the end and I thought it'd be cool if there were happier musicals."

"Yes, quite a few musicals have tragedy as one of their main elements."

"Right, then I thought about how a lot of them were about growing up and stuff but they were always set in crazy times or places that most people wouldn't be in and I figured that almost everyone had been in high school and it's a pretty important time for people so that'd be the perfect setting."

Rachel nodded.

"So, then I thought about our high school lives and it was like pretty perfect for a coming of age story for all of us. Once that happened, all I could think about were the scenes until I got them out so I spent most of my free time writing the script."

"I'm surprised you had time to write a script."

"Yea, football's not too busy when you're the third string quarterback and I could write a lot at rehearsals since the regulars took up a lot of the time on stage. But it really got crazy when Daniel, our director, figured out what I was doing. He took the time to give me suggestions and made what I wrote a lot better." He shook his head, "I can't believe how many drafts we went over." He chuckled, "It was like I found a college version of Mr. Schue."

"Did you really go around and ask everyone about their experience in Glee?"

"Yea and I found out some crazy stuff."

"Like how Ms. Sylvester blackmailed Principal Figgins into letting Glee continue?"

"Yea, that's what Mr. Schue said and I couldn't believe it when I heard it since she was always so mean to us."

"Wow, she really is an enigma."

"Hey, that's pretty mean Rachel."

"What? How was I mean?"

"What you just called her, you know something you stick back there." Finn made a motion towards his rear end and comprehension dawned on Rachel.

"Finn, I said enigma not enema. It means a mysterious or complex person."

"Oh," A chuckle, "I guess I needed to take more English classes."

"I am slightly confused. The way you ended the second act was not very happy even if we do see Burt's character respond after the song."

"I know, but Daniel said that the script would work better if there was an emotional balance to all the happy stuff that was already in it so I thought about the worst stuff that happened to us and I always came back to those two things. And he was right, it was a lot better once I made that the second act."

"I hope you discussed it with Burt and Kurt."

"What? Of course I did, I'm not that stupid. They understood what I was trying to do and were cool about it. Plus, it's not like any of us thought the script had a chance of ever being made."

"I don't see why not, it really is very good."

Finn shrugged. "Well, I guess we'll find out how good it really is. I mean once I think of a title for it and find a cast."

"Yes, it was strange when I saw that there was no title page, but I think the title would have been very obvious."

"Really? What do you think the title should be?"

"_Glee_."

Finn mouthed the word twice and broke out into one of the biggest smiles Rachel had ever seen on his face.

"That's perfect."

"Regarding a cast, I believe I have found someone to play the female lead."

Finn was still grinning madly. "Oh yea? Who?"

"Me."

Finn shot up from the couch. "What? You're like a Tony winning actress. Why would you want to do this?"

"Finn, why wouldn't I want to do this? I have always thought that I was born to play Fanny, but obviously I was wrong. This is the one role I was born and meant to play."

"It's gonna be on Off-Off-Broadway a lot and this might not make it to Broadway!"

Rachel stood up in front of Finn, took a hold of his hands, and looked into his eyes. "Finn, believe me when I say: Just like I knew that we would win Nationals, just like I knew we would win Nationals for a second time, I know that this will make it to Broadway and I wouldn't miss this journey for anything."

Finn looked down at their intertwined hands and gulped.

He looked back up at Rachel and she felt him squeeze her hands. He smiled his half smile and Rachel didn't know whether to be thrilled or mortified that she felt a small number of tiny butterflies in her stomach from seeing it again.

"Rach," His eyes went wide for just a moment, "Um, Rachel Berry will you be my Kate Mitchell?"

Rachel smiled.

"I will."

Rachel tried to tell herself that it was only Finn's body heat that she was feeling as he engulfed her in a hug and not the warm, fuzzy feeling she used to get when she was around him.

She tried really hard.

* * *

This was not working.

Rachel turned her head as she hit her final note to look at her co-star, Dennis, who was looking right back at her. At least he finally knew where to look.

"Let's do it again Dennis."

Dennis turned to look at an expressionless Edward sitting in the center seat in the third row.

"Seriously? This is already the sixth time we've done this number today. It's fine how it is."

Rachel turned to look at Edward and saw his eyes glance towards her.

"It is not fine. This song represents the love Kate and Josh have for each other. It's the first song that they sing together after Josh tells her that he loves her. This is the first emotional climax of their relationship. The audience needs to feel that. None of the previous performances have been acceptable. We will rehearse this until we get it right."

Edward's eyes looked towards Dennis.

"This is crazy. We have the blocking and lines down and our vocals are fine."

The eyes came back to Rachel.

"The emotional connection required by this song is lacking, more specifically it is you who is lacking it."

"All right, enough. Take five, we'll run it again a few more times after break."

Rachel turned to see Dennis glaring at her. She stared right back until he shook his head and walked off stage.

"Rachel, may I speak with you for a moment?"

"Of course." She grabbed a bottle of water and made her way to Edward.

"Perhaps you shouldn't be so hard on him."

"You cannot believe that what we have rehearsed is acceptable. You know I am correct when I say that he does not sing that song with the emotion that is required."

"You know he has never stepped foot on a Broadway stage before correct?" Rachel nodded, "Perhaps he is just nervous to be performing next to a Tony Award winning actress."

"Stop making excuses for him. He is a professional is he not? How many times did you make us rehearse a simple scene during _Phantom_? We have come nowhere near that number yet and he is already complaining. He lacks the dedication required for this business."

"Rachel, this is already the fifth Josh we've cast in the past three months. Mostly due to your, how do I put this nicely, strenuous critiques of them."

Rachel thankfully thought that they had only done readings in little more than warehouses and a few workshops on stage in those months. She wanted everything to be perfect on this musical before they reached a Broadway stage. She knew it would more difficult to get a musical going from the ground up but she didn't realize just how difficult it would be. Although, she supposed a Tony Award winning actress working Off-Off-Broadway to help create a musical from nothing would be quite the dramatic tale when told later on.

"And we will continue to cast them until we find the right one. Josh is an extremely important character, the actor who plays him must be perfect. But, it cannot be this difficult to find an actor who can give an emotional performance of this song. Finn did it when he was only 16 years old."

Edward laughed. "From what I know about the story, I think it was because he was in love with you while performing the song."

"I believe Finn could perform the song better than Dennis right now."

"Do you now?"

"I do."

"Well there's only one way to find out." Edward turned to Finn who was busy explaining blocking notes from his prompt book to cast members who were making notes in their scripts, "Finn, we'd like a word with you."

Finn set aside his stage management duties and came over.

"What's up?"

"Rachel would like you to sing 'Faithfully' with her. She believes you can still achieve the proper emotional connection required for the song."

Finn glanced nervously towards Rachel. "Uh, I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"Why not? We have performed this song together many times, this would just be another performance."

"Uh, I don't really know the blocking."

"You don't need to know the blocking. I just need you to sing it with me to show the others how it is supposed to sound."

"I haven't really sung anything in a long time. I won't be very good."

"Nonsense, you'll be fine. Stop making excuses and sing it with me."

Finn looked at Edward who only shrugged and laughed.

"You know how she is. You better just get it done."

Finn sighed. "Fine."

They waited until the rest of the cast returned from break before they began. Finn's rustiness was evident from his first lines but by the time Finn joined in with her during the second verse they easily harmonized together as if they had never stopped performing together. Rachel started to go through the blocking as she sang since it never hurt to have a little extra practice even if her singing partner couldn't follow the steps. She was surprised and impressed when Finn joined her with the corresponding steps without missing either a step or a note.

What impressed Rachel the most was the emotion that Finn sang with. She never thought that Finn could sing with the emotion that he had during their first time at Regionals since he no longer loved her but she guessed that his time on _Rent _had thoroughly improved his vocal abilities. She looked into his eyes at the correct mark and was only slightly surprised to find him looking at her as he was supposed to. Apparently, _Rent_ had improved his acting abilities as well since the look in his eyes was almost the same as it was all those years ago.

Just like before Rachel lost herself in those eyes while she sang. She didn't notice anything else while she sang with Finn. She didn't notice the seats or Edward sitting in one. She didn't notice her follow cast mates, who were a captive audience. She didn't notice if the cast on stage joined in when they were supposed to. All she noticed were Finn's eyes, the butterflies in her stomach, and thrill in her chest she always got when she sang with him during high school. Rachel only made it through the steps due to long rehearsals where they were drilled into her muscle memory and they both ended up where they were supposed to be, looking at each other like they had all those years ago. She wondered who he was looking at with those eyes now, her mind flashed to a gorgeous Latina studying to become a lawyer and a chill went through her.

Finn was right.

This was a terrible idea.

Rachel had to act her way out of the mess she had made for herself. She quickly put a smile on her face, smoothed out a few nonexistent wrinkles in her dress and turned to look at Edward and Dennis sitting in seats next to each other.

"That is the emotional connection I was referring to."

Edward was smiling. "You were right, as usual. Finn still has it and you were your usual amazing self."

"Now that you have a proper example, will you be able to perform the song correctly Dennis?"

All Dennis could do was look amazed and slowly nod, but Rachel knew they would be looking for their sixth Josh soon. Dennis was not the one who would be playing Josh when the show premiered.

"Wait, why is no one clapping? That was like awesome!"

Rachel turned to look at Brittany who had turned out to be a surprisingly effective choreographer, but almost as important she was cheap to hire.

"This is rehearsal. We don't clap for our cast mates."

"But, you guys were awesome! It was like we were back in high school!"

Rachel's smile fell off her face for a moment. "Not quite. Right Finn?" She turned to look at him only to find he had already left the stage.

She found him back in his seat writing furiously in his prompt book completely ignoring everything going on around him.

She looked at Edward again who was grinning as if he knew some secret.

"From the top?"

"From the top."

* * *

Less than a week later, _Glee_ was searching for its sixth Josh after Dennis had spectacularly quit after one too many critiques by Rachel. No one missed him, but it was slightly difficult to hold rehearsals without a male lead who was in almost as many scenes as Rachel was. After some badgering by Rachel and a request from Edward, Finn had agreed to help the understudy run lines with the cast. From what Rachel saw he was quite good at running scenes, but she never had the opportunity to run scenes with Finn because he always had an excuse.

But as usual Rachel was persistent.

"Finn, the understudy cannot spend all his time running scenes with me."

"Why not? You're the female lead. You're way more important than anyone else."

"He needs time to work on the scenes he is the regular for. Plus, I think he is becoming quite annoyed with my requests to constantly run scenes. The production cannot afford to have to cast both the regular and understudy for Josh at the same time."

Finn groaned. "Fine. What scene do you want to run?"

"The hallway, right before 'Faithfully.'"

His eyebrows shot up. "What? No way. There's no way I'm doing that scene with you."

"Why not?"

Finn's shoulders stiffened and a grimace appeared on his face. "Look Rachel, I'd love to help. But, I can't do that scene with you. I just can't."

"Finn, this is just rehearsal. Your acting skills have improved tremendously, you will be fine." Rachel lowered her voice, "Just imagine that I'm someone else."

Finn's mouth opened but no sound came out. He tried again and his voice was just as soft as Rachel's the moment before.

"Not that scene. Please."

"How about the scene where they first meet?"

Finn's shoulders relaxed as if the weight of the world had just been lifted off.

"Yea, we can do that."

They ran through scenes and Finn's acting progressively got worse and worse as the day went by. It got so bad that he started to mangle the lines he was reading from the script he held and that was when Rachel decided they needed a break.

Rachel sat back in her seat and watched as Brittany recruited Finn to lead the rest of the cast through one of the larger numbers. It was as if she was back in her old high school auditorium during their days in Glee. But when she closed her eyes she could only see the faces of Quinn, Kurt, Santana, Brittany, and Finn. Everyone else had been replaced by a blurry vision of their former selves. She quickly tried to name the rest of the original members and found herself racking her brain for the last few. It took her a long minute to remember that Sam had replaced Matt during their second year. She wondered what they were doing with their lives right now.

Rachel could vaguely remember one of Mr. Schue's speeches about how one day they wouldn't remember much about their time in Glee and distinctly remembered saying to herself that she would remember everything about her time in the club. She tried to remember the smaller numbers or the individual assignments they did during each year but couldn't. She completely surprised herself when she couldn't immediately list every solo she had during her time in Glee. Of course, Mr. Schue was right, his life lessons never seemed to be wrong.

Rachel took a deep breath and released it. She opened her eyes to find Finn looking right at her but when she smiled at him he quickly turned away.

The rest of rehearsal a more focused Finn ran scenes with Rachel and stepped in for the musical numbers as a stand in for Josh.

Rachel looked up after the cast had just finished the last number and saw a newly arrived Santana playing with Brittany's hair while looking at the stage, amazingly Brittany wasn't distracted and made a few final notes on the performance in her notebook. As soon as she finished writing she quickly turned around and kissed Santana which drew a few catcalls from the cast who received a middle finger from a smiling Santana in return.

"Hudson, let's get outta here. You owe me dinner."

Rachel's eyes quickly found Finn who was shoving his things into his backpack with his back turned towards her.

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

"Berry, you wanna come with?"

Rachel turned to look at Santana who was smiling brightly at her. Rachel always wondered why Santana never smiled more often, she was even more beautiful when she did. Rachel wondered if Finn had thought of that.

"No, I believe I will head home."

"What? Come on, it's been forever since we've hung out."

She glanced at a determined Finn who was still busy shoving his belongings into his backpack.

Rachel lied. "Rehearsal was extremely tiring, I'll join you next time Santana."

Santana shrugged.

"Come on Finn. Move your ass."

Rachel's eyes followed Finn who jumped off the stage to walk out with Santana and Brittany who both quickly linked arms with him. He never looked towards her once.

"See you tomorrow Finn?" Rachel hated how needy her voice sounded.

He barely turned his back.

"See you tomorrow."

* * *

A/N 2: Why yes, I am completely lazy. Who needs to make up a new musical when you can just yank ideas from the original TV show? Also, I'm completely in love with the meta aspect.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: You may not have noticed, but I made the first chapter the prologue and renumbered all the chapters, so no I haven't deleted a chapter or anything.

Nothing to else say but thanks for reading and reviewing.

* * *

Finn didn't show up for rehearsal the next day.

Or the day after that.

Or respond to the texts Rachel sent both days.

Or answer the door when she knocked after rehearsal the second day.

Santana did.

Santana looked at Rachel for a second through the barely open door before opening the door all the way to let her in. She was on the phone talking to someone and gave Rachel a questioning look before shrugging and walking away.

Rachel felt a slight sense of déjà vu as she closed the door behind her. She looked around and saw no sign of Finn, so she took a seat at the kitchen table and listened to the one sided conversation as she watched Santana pace back and forth.

"No, Mr. Goldstein. I wrote the brief yesterday and saved it to the usual network folder."

Santana stopped walking and examined her nails.

"Yes, Mr. Goldstein. I am sure I wrote the Wallace v. Tucker brief."

She resumed her pacing.

"No, I don't know why you can't find it. I named it 'Wallace v. Tucker Brief' and it's in the 'Wallace v. Tucker' folder."

Santana looked at Rachel, mouthed "Oh my God," and pantomimed shooting herself in the head.

"Hold on Mr. Goldstein, let me get out my laptop."

She pulled out a laptop from a bag next to the couch and set it up next to Rachel.

"I'm connecting to the VPN now." Santana typed something, "I see the file. It's right there on the network drive. Yes, the P: drive where we keep all the briefs."

Her face wore a scowl on it by now.

"No, I don't know why you can't see it. Are you looking in the P: drive?" A pause. "No, 'P' as in Paul."

Santana had her elbow propped up on the table with her fingers rubbing temples as if she was trying to soothe a pounding headache.

"Did you find it? Great. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Santana jabbed at her phone to end the call, brought her arm back as if she was going to throw it across the room until she thought better of it, and then just dropped it on the table.

"I swear, when I become partner I am firing his old ass."

"Isn't the firm where you're interning called Goldstein & Clark?"

"Yea? And?"

"Isn't that the Mr. Goldstein you were talking to?"

"So what? We'll just rename the firm Lopez & Clark. That old ass couldn't work a computer to save his life."

Rachel laughed a little, Santana could be amusing when you weren't the person her words were directed at.

Santana replaced the laptop in her bag.

"Let me guess. Here to see Finn?"

"Yes."

"It's kinda late isn't it? This isn't some sort of booty call is it?" Santana said as she took the seat across from Rachel.

"What? No! He hasn't been at rehearsal the past two days nor has he answered my texts. So, I came by to see if anything was wrong. Besides, I do not believe he needs that with you in the picture."

Santana narrowed her eyes and scowled. "What the hell are you talking about Berry?"

"You and Finn are going out or at least being intimate. I have seen the signs with my own eyes."

Santana's scowl slowly turned into a grin which became stomach heaving laughter.

"Hold on." Santana was laughing so hard she could barely get the words out, "I gotta. Tell. Quinn." She picked up her phone and typed for a moment, "About this." She dropped the phone, "Before I die."

Rachel waited for a few moments as Santana's laughter died down.

"I do not see what was so amusing about my statement."

Rachel watched as Santana deeply inhaled and exhaled a few times to catch her breath and wiped away a tear.

"It was fucking hilarious, you thinking that me and Finnocence are having sex."

Rachel's heart leapt into her throat and she could barely get out the words. "You're not sleeping with Finn?"

"God no." Her eyes narrowed, "Why do you care?"

Rachel averted her eyes.

"Oh. My. God. Please tell me you are not in love with him again!"

Rachel felt tears begin to build up in her eyes. "Santana please don't tell-"

"You two are fucking ridiculous, completely fucking ridiculous. It's like I'm in a fucking movie with-"

"Hey is Kurt back from his date?" Rachel heard as Finn walk into the kitchen area and then in a much softer tone, "Rachel, what're you doing here?" He must have noticed her eyes, "Is she ok?"

Rachel quickly glanced at Finn who looked quite normal except for bloodshot eyes and then returned her pleading gaze to Santana who rolled her eyes after a moment.

"Finn, I needs me some coffee." Santana pulled her purse from her bag and took out a twenty, "Go get it for me."

"What? We have coffee here."

"That shit you call coffee is brown mud. Go get me a large cup of real coffee. Black."

"But it's late!"

"Oh please, like you have plans for tomorrow besides sleeping and mope-"

Finn snatched the twenty Santana was holding up. "Fine."

"And if you bring me back shit from McDonald's, Dunkin' Donuts, or fucking Starbucks I will send you back out again."

"Whatever."

He slammed the door behind him.

Santana took a deep breath and let it out. "Ok, out with it. What's going on with you and Finn?"

"It's nothing. I am just dealing with an old feeling that is resurfacing. I will have it under control soon."

"And what old feeling would that be?"

"I may once again have romantic feelings for Finn."

"Yea, I can see that. I don't see what the problem is."

"Obviously, Finn no longer reciprocates these feelings."

"I'm going to assume you haven't talked to him about this crap right?"

"No, why would I? It's obvious he no longer has feelings for me."

Santana tilted her head back and whispered. "Dear God. Why me?" She looked back down, "Obvious because you think he was fucking me?" Rachel winced at the crudeness, "I just told you we aren't having sex."

Rachel couldn't tell if she hated or loved that her hopes were being raised by Santana's words.

"But, you're always with him and over here."

"Hello? This is what friends do. They hang out with each other." Santana glared at Rachel, "Well maybe not you. And you may have noticed I'm not exactly the nicest person out there," She shrugged, "So it's not like I have tons of people to hang out with."

"He tells you everything about his life."

"What? What the hell gave you that idea? That boy tells me jack shit."

"He told you about his script getting picked up."

"Yea, he told me because he needed me to read over all the fucking contracts for it and then he needed me to go over all of the music releases. And there were a fucking lot of them, for every damn song each artist, label, producer, and writer all had a separate release and I had to read each and every one. And I'm not an entertainment lawyer so I had to do a lot of research for that shit. And he wanted that shit done for free, which is why he owes me breakfast, lunch, and dinner whenever I want until one of us dies."

Rachel couldn't help but let hope creep into her voice. "You guys really haven't been having sex?"

"No. The last time me and Finn had sex was way back in high school when I took his virginity, which between you and me was pretty damn awful. I think you owe me for that."

Rachel inhaled sharply at Santana's mention of that incident which surprisingly drew a remorseful look from Santana.

"Look, Rachel, we never really cleared the air between us about that incident since we didn't really talk too much until the end of high school. But, I want to say we're friends now so I guess now's a good a time as any."

"Santana, there's no need to talk about that incident. It's completely in the past."

"Just let me do this ok?" Rachel nodded, "I'm not going to apologize for taking his virginity since there's nothing there to apologize for," Rachel nodded again, "But when I started all that shit before Regionals-

"Sectionals."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Right, Sectionals. I need to apologize for that. I was a giant bitch in high school cause it was the easy thing to do. I mean come on, be a cheerleader, be mean, and you ruled that school. Sue made sure we never really had to do any school work and the social hierarchy made sure we got what and who we wanted. It really was a perfect system."

Rachel scoffed in disbelief.

"Yea, ok. It was perfect if you were on top. If you were just trying to get by or anywhere near the bottom it was pretty terrible. So yea, the choice was completely easy for me to make. I had to be the biggest bitch in school just so things would be easy for me. I'm not going to lie to you and say that Glee changed all that, but it showed me that being a giant bitch didn't get me whatever I wanted. When I got to college I was really glad I had been in Glee cause if I acted the way I did before I was in Glee I would have been laughed at or ignored by the whole school. I uh, learned a lot from you guys on how to act like a real, less mean, person."

"Less mean? Finn said you got kicked out of the a cappella group."

Santana chuckled. "Yea those assholes, I never said I stopped being a bitch. I'm just less of a bitch now and they still couldn't take me." Santana chuckled again, "So yea, what I'm trying to say here is that I'm sorry for how I acted towards you during high school. Those weren't my proudest moments; if I could I'd go back in time and kick my own ass for some of the shit I pulled."

Rachel was amazed since she would have never thought Santana Lopez would ever be apologizing to her for anything, much less for something so serious. There was only one thing Rachel could do.

Rachel placed her hand on top of Santana's and squeezed. "Apology accepted."

Santana smiled and then ran her other hand through her hair and mussed it. The end result looked much like what she saw during her first visit to see Finn.

Santana's face took on a more serious look. "Rachel, I know you didn't come here to hear me bitch about things but since we're doing this heart to heart shit can I share one more thing with you?"

"I... Of course, we are friends."

Santana smiled softly.

"Thanks, I don't really have anyone else I can talk to." Rachel smiled back, "You know how I said that I didn't have anything to apologize for when I slept with Finn? Well, I do."

"I don't understand."

"I need to apologize to Brittany but she wouldn't really understand. I guess you're the next best person to tell."

"What do you need to apologize to Brittany for?"

Santana closed her eyes for a moment then took a deep breath. "It's kind of what I apologized to you for."

"But, you were never mean or cruel to Brittany in high school."

"No, not the way you think. You know how Brittany was; she would do anything I told her to do." Rachel nodded, "Well, when we got to high school I knew she would need help getting through it and what easier way was there than joining the Cheerios? So we both joined up and I got to rule the school and Brittany reaped the benefits from my rule."

"I don't understand what you have to apologize for."

"Wow, you still haven't gotten any patience after all these years have you?"

"I have, just not too much."

They both laughed softly.

Santana took another deep breath and let it out. "After we joined the Cheerios, I had two choices. I could go Quinn's celibacy route or completely the other way. You know which way I chose and Brittany followed my lead. God, I was so dumb sleeping with all those boys just for social status. I mean what the fuck? Collecting v-cards? How fucking stupid was I? And dragging Brittany down that road too?" Santana had tears in her eyes, "I mean one broken condom or a drunken hook up with the wrong guy and either one of us could have been pregnant or we could have gotten HIV or herpes or something awful."

Santana paused to wipe a few tears that had fallen from her eyes.

"I mean really, if we weren't in some backwards ass school in some backwards ass town I would have been with Brittany instead of sleeping with all those boys. It wasn't until we got to college that I truly felt free enough to actually date her instead of just hooking up with her. I mean I could have really fucked Brittany over for no other reason than I wasn't brave enough to figure out what I really wanted. If something bad happened to her because of what I made her do I couldn't live with myself."

Santana had stopped bothering with wiping away the tears that were running down her cheeks when Rachel stood up and hugged her.

"It's ok, we all made bad choices in high school. You just have to learn from them and it sounds like you have. And things worked out in the end for you two."

Rachel didn't know how long she held onto the sobbing Santana but eventually the Latina gently pushed her away. She released Santana from the hug but kept her hands on Santana's shoulders and saw that the future lawyer's tears had stopped and a small smile had appeared.

"Berry, you've always been nice to me and I don't know why."

"Neither do I."

Santana's jaw went slack then lifted up to form a grin.

"You little bitch."

"I learned from the best and that would definitely be Quinn."

They laughed much harder this time.

Rachel went back to her previous seat.

"Would you mind if we talked about Finn now?"

"Sure, no problem. I'm sorry that I sidetracked us."

"No, it's ok. What you had to say was important."

"Like I said, he doesn't tell me much about his personal life so I can only tell you what I saw with my own eyes." Rachel leaned forward slightly, "After he uh, got over you, he dated a few times freshman year."

"I don't want to hear about his entire social life after we broke up."

"I think you might, so just listen. Sophomore year was pretty much the same; he'd date randomly throughout the year but never for more than a two weeks or so. He had his longest relationship when we were juniors, it was like four months and he didn't date at all his senior year."

"That sounds like normal college life for a guy."

"Yea, maybe if he was Puck. Also, I'm pretty sure it means something that Finn only dated short brunettes with strong personalities even if he denied it all the time."

Rachel's heart was pounding in her ears. "Oh."

"Yea, and he's been acting real funny ever since you cast yourself in his musical and even funnier since rehearsals began."

Rachel took a deep breath. "I still don't know what any of this means."

"It means is that you should really talk to his ass when he gets back with my damn-"

Santana looked down at her ringing phone and grimaced.

"Fuck. I have to take this. Sorry."

Santana picked up her phone, took a deep breath, and answered it.

"Hello, Mr. Goldstein." Santana shook her head slowly, "It's in the P: drive-"

The conversation faded out as Rachel walked to the living room needing some peace and quiet to digest all of the information she had just heard. She noticed Finn's laptop set up on the table with his earbuds still attached. He must have been making minor changes to the script until Santana's fit of laughter disturbed him. Rachel tapped a key to turn on the screen, saw that he had left it unlocked, and smiled. She was glad that he still completely trusted people for no reason. She listened for a moment and heard Santana still talking with the partner so she sat down in front of the laptop, picked up the earbuds and inserted them into her ears.

Rachel cocked her head when she heard nothing. He must have paused the music when he got up but when she looked at the taskbar there was no media player present only a Word 2015 document and a browser window showing Google. Assuming that he closed the media player, she quickly went through the start menu only to find there was no iTunes or Winamp or anything that remotely looked like a media player.

Rachel was thoroughly puzzled. It was obvious that Finn listened to music while he worked but he seemed to have no music on his laptop. Thinking for a moment, Rachel had the idea that Finn must have been using one of those online streaming services, clicked on the browser window and that was when she saw it. The second tab was for a YouTube page and when she clicked on it she was staring at her own face in the middle of a song. She glanced at the title, "The Only Exception," and her eyes almost shot out of her head. She looked at the bottom of the screen, saw that Finn had made a playlist of all her videos, and her heart leapt into her throat.

For everything that Santana had told her, it wasn't until Rachel saw that playlist that she knew deep in her heart that Finn hadn't been sleeping with Santana.

Rachel couldn't stop the giant smile from appearing on her face and to be honest she didn't care at all.

"Finished snooping Rachel?"

Rachel looked up to see Santana grinning at her from the living room entrance.

"What? I was doing no such thing."

"Your giant ass smile says otherwise."

"Well, I may have discovered something."

"Looks like whatever you found made you happy."

"Yes, it did."

Santana turned her head to look at the entrance to the apartment.

"I think I hear Kurt screeching in the hallway."

Rachel stood up walked to the living room entrance and watched as Santana walked into the kitchen where Kurt and Finn were removing their coats.

"Leave your expensive ass coat on Kurt. We're going for a walk."

"What?"

"Did you get some designer earplugs or something? I said we're going for a walk, do the tourist thing or whatever."

"Seriously? You've been here for over a year and now do you want to do the tourist thing at," Kurt checked his watch, "Ten o'clock tonight?"

Santana put on her coat. "Yea, now let's go see the Christmas Tree in Times Square or whatever."

"What? The tree isn't in Times Square."

"I said, 'Or whatever.'"

"Fine. Let's go Finn."

"Finn stays."

"What?"

"Do you need to get your ears checked or something? Is that why you keep saying, 'What?' I said, 'Finn stays.'"

"If I'm being dragged out in the middle of the night to wander around tourist traps with you, then Finn is coming with us."

"Finn isn't coming. He has things to do."

"What the hell does Finn have to do at this time of night?"

Finn placed a large cup of coffee from a boutique coffee shop on the kitchen table.

"Apparently, I needed to go get her coffee."

Finn turned around, walked towards the living room, and stopped suddenly when he came across Rachel.

" What's Rachel doing here?"

"She needs to talk with Finn."

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "What's she need to talk to him about at this time of night?"

"Shit we don't care about. Let's go before I toss your coat into a trash can."

"This is a one of a kind sample from Alexander McQueen, you wouldn't dare."

"Watch me."

Santana picked up her coffee from the table, snatched Kurt's coat from his arm, and ran out the door with a screaming Kurt chasing after her, slamming the door shut on his way out.

Rachel smiled at Santana's efforts and looked up at Finn who wasn't quite as amused.

"What're you still doing here Rachel?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

Rachel looked up at Finn and took a deep breath. "I believe you will not truthfully talk to me about what I really want to discuss at this moment, so I will begin with something small."

A confused look appeared on Finn's face. "What? I don't understand what you just said."

Rachel softly smiled. "Finn, why haven't you been at rehearsal the past two days?"

"I've been busy working."

"You could have worked on the script at rehearsal."

"I know."

"It would have been better if you talked with Edward about the changes you were making."

"I didn't want to get distracted."

Rachel sighed, time to try a different tactic.

"I was quite surprised when I found out what you were listening to on your laptop."

Rachel wasn't surprised when Finn looked away.

"Don't be, I listen to those songs when I write to get inspired."

"You don't listen to them at any other time?"

He still wasn't looking at her. "Nope. Never."

Rachel fought the urge to stamp her foot, something she hadn't felt since high school.

"Finn, look at me." He didn't turn his head, "Please?"

Finn turned his head to look down at Rachel with a pained expression.

"Rachel, why are you doing this?"

"I just want you to be honest with me."

"Honest about what?"

"About us."

Finn's face hardened. "You want honesty? Fine, I'll be honest. We can't be friends any more. I tried; I really did, even after five years it's too hard to see you again every day. It's too hard to run those stupid scenes with you and it's definitely too hard to sing with you again. That's why I haven't been at rehearsal for the past two days, I just can't be around you again." He ran a hand through his hair and then spat out, "But, I can't even do that right since the first thing I do when I turn on my laptop is to watch one of your videos."

Rachel tried to take one of Finn's hands into hers but he walked away as soon as she touched him.

Finn raised his voice. "You know what? Here's some more honesty, I lied to you about why I didn't tell you about the script." He was almost yelling now, "It wasn't because I was afraid you were going to come in and get it made!" His voice dropped to a whisper, "I didn't tell you because it was the only thing I had left of you."

Rachel could hear the fear in Finn's voice and in a fraction of a second she knew why it was there. He was afraid that if he told her about the script that there was a chance that she would demand that he stop working on it. He would have to do it and then he would have nothing left of her. That was the one chance he couldn't take because he still loved her after all those years and that script was all he had to remember her by.

Finn sat down on the couch looking defeated. "Rachel, I think I'm going to quit-"

"Finn, before you do or say anything else, there is something I would like to show you in my apartment. I know it's late but I really would like to show it to you."

Rachel walked over to Finn and held out a hand, praying that Finn would take it.

All Rachel heard was the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears when Finn looked up at her then down at her hand then back up again.

"Please."

Rachel heard three heartbeats before Finn took her hand.

Two heartbeats after that Finn stood up.

Five heartbeats later, they walked into the kitchen hand in hand.

One heartbeat later, they let go of each other's hands.

It took ten heartbeats to put on their coats.

Finn opened the door, looked back towards Rachel, and held out his hand.

They didn't say a word to each other during the train ride or walk to Rachel's apartment and all Rachel felt was the pad of Finn's thumb as he rubbed the back of her hand.

They still had their hands locked together when they stepped through the threshold of her apartment. For once, she was thankful that Quinn had a photo shoot out of state and had to stay overnight. She didn't want anyone around when she cried her eyes out in case things went poorly.

"Have a seat in the living room."

They were the first words either of them had said for nearly half an hour and it was the first time they had let go of each other since leaving Finn's apartment.

Rachel walked into her bedroom and opened the door to her walk-in closet.

On the right half were the clothes and accessories that Kurt had deemed fit for a Tony award winner. Kurt swept into her apartment like a tornado every change of season with a list of things that Rachel needed to swap out with the latest fashions. After Rachel swapped out the required items he left a list that detailed which pieces went together to form complete outfits. Rachel always kept it taped to the back of the closet door and referenced it whenever she needed an outfit for an official function.

On the left, were the items Rachel would wear all the time if she could. Her personal style hadn't changed too much from when she was in high school. There was a mishmash of dresses, sweaters, and skirts meticulously organized; argyle was highly featured, although animal patches had fallen out of favor. Surprisingly, Kurt had nothing to say regarding her selection of jackets and coats, which he deemed cute enough. This was the half she chose from when she went out with friends or when she was going to work.

This was the half that she pulled a cardboard box from. It was hidden all the way in the back, behind two boxes, and had a gold star affixed to the lid. It was the same box that Quinn had found when she first moved into Rachel's old apartment.

Rachel picked up the box and carried it with her to the living room. She set it down on the table in front of Finn and opened it.

"Rachel, what is this?"

Rachel put down the lid and picked up Finn's old jacket which had been lying facedown showing nothing but its red back, covering everything underneath.

"I don't understand." Finn's face looked half confused and half hurt, "Are you giving back all my stuff after five years?"

"No, Finn. I'm trying to show that you I have been holding on to you too. Even after all these years, you still have a part of me and I have a part of you."

"But, you stopped loving me in high school. That's why we broke up!"

This was the moment of truth. There was no turning back now.

Rachel took a deep breath. "I was still in love with you when we broke up."

Rachel heard a sharp intake of breath come from Finn.

"You lied to me? Why?"

"Because you were going to follow me to New York if I didn't."

"I thought that's what we both wanted."

"No, I always wanted you to have your own life, your own hopes, your own dreams. You would have had none of that if you followed me to New York."

"I would have had you and that's all I wanted."

"Finn, we were 18. No one really knows what they want when they're 18."

"You knew what you wanted." Finn bitterly spat out.

"I- Yes, I was one of the lucky few."

"So, you loved me, but didn't want me? Is that it?"

"No, I wanted you, but not at the expense of losing who you were."

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means you would have been working menial jobs for the rest of your life for no reason until I became a star and then you would have lounged around all day doing nothing. Is that what you wanted for a life?"

"I- Uh. No, not really. But I would have found something to do!" Finn stammered out.

"You would have had a high school diploma, what would you have found?"

"Uh, there are things… Alright, I have no idea what I would have done. It's just that everything was so perfect and I wanted to keep it that way."

"Finn, we were high school seniors with no responsibilities and no appreciation of what life outside of high school would be like. Your senior year was just Glee, Xbox, and football; in that order."

"And you." Finn softly said and looked away.

Rachel replied just as softly. "And me."

As silence descended upon them, Rachel thought that it was a good sign that Finn was no longer angry even if he was staring blankly at something off to her left.

Rachel was the first to speak again, still with a soft voice.

"Aren't you the least bit glad you went to college?"

Finn still wasn't looking at her.

"Of course I am. I mean, it was hard and all, but I got a lot out of it."

"That's good."

"I mean up until college I never met anyone, besides you, who actually knew what they wanted to do. I guess that's what college is for; it lets you figure out what you want to do with your life. It took me a while but I figured out that I really wanted to work with music and then I started writing the script and you know how it is.

"I may have known what I wanted to do, but I never knew what achieving it would truly mean."

"What'd you mean?"

"When I am on stage performing in front of an audience or with my fellow cast mates during rehearsals, it is just as I dreamed it would be and I couldn't be happier." Rachel sighed, "But, when I'm doing other things that my career requires, like being interviewed or making appearances at parties I find myself wishing that I was having a quiet evening with friends."

"Oh."

Another silence fell over them and Rachel waited until she couldn't stand it anymore before she spoke again.

"Finn, what are you thinking about right now?"

"I'm thinking I know exactly how Joel felt."

Rachel's mind froze at Finn's non sequitur. "Wh- What?"

Finn raised his right arm and pointed at something. Rachel turned to look and saw the shelf where she and Quinn kept all their Blu-ray movies.

"I still don't understand-"

"Eternal Sunshine, it's right there on the shelf. You probably haven't watched it since it's not a musical or whatever."

"No, I have. I watched it with Quinn and I made the incorrect assumption that it was a happy movie due to a few of her statements."

Finn looked up at her and chuckled.

"And I thought Quinn stopped being mean to you back in high school."

"I believe I said the same thing to her, but I still don't understand what you meant."

Finn looked towards the shelf again and sighed. "I feel like I'm Joel at the end of the movie when they're in the hallway. You know, after they find out the truth about their relationship and they're trying to figure out what to do."

Rachel was wrong before when she thought the beginning of their conversation was the moment of truth. This was the moment of truth.

"Joel wanted to give their relationship another try." Rachel said softly.

Finn slowly turned his head to look at Rachel again.

"This makes you Clementine right?"

"Yes."

"I'm pretty sure she wanted to try again too."

"She does."

Finn stood up and walked around the table to stand in front of Rachel.

"Finn, this won't be like we're back in high school."

He started to lean forward. "I know it'll be different but I don't care."

Doubts and insecurities ran through Rachel's mind. "We might hurt each other again."

He stopped at the half way point and placed his hands on her shoulders. "We will hurt each other again. That's just how relationships are, we have to work through it and we'll come out stronger."

Rachel smiled up at Finn. "When did you become so emotionally mature?"

Finn smiled his half smile. "I told you, I learned a lot in college."

He leaned down and his lips met hers.

Rachel resisted the urge to pull Finn into a deeper kiss since this was their first kiss in over five years but when she could stand it no longer she felt Finn pulling her into him and his tongue demanding an audience with hers. Well, who was she to deny the request?

She didn't even notice that her hands were busy unclasping his belt buckle until he gently pulled them away and broke their kiss.

He was breathing heavily. "Uh, let's not go too fast."

So was she. "Agreed. We should take our time."

He looked down at her now trembling hands. "I uh, probably should go. Busy day tomorrow you know."

"Right of course, me too."

He grinned at her. "See you tomorrow?"

"I'd never miss rehearsal."

* * *

A/N 2: Ugh. This chapter killed me. I'm pretty sure I rewrote the big scene at least five times before I came up with this, which I'm sort of happy with. By happy, I mean, I find it barely acceptable.

Also, I finally played around with the traffic page here and found that I've been losing readers like mad as the story goes on. I figure by the time I finish I'll be the only one who actually reads the final chapter. I find this amusing.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I had a giant brain fart last chapter when I had Finn say six years since their relationship ended, it's also not four as Rachel said, it's definitely five. If you all would just squint real hard the timeline will still work.

To the anonymous reviewers and users who have disabled PMs, thanks for your reviews.

To everyone else thanks for reading.

* * *

"That was good. Any comments Brittany?"

"Uh, it's really cold this winter. I wonder if the ducks are okay?"

Rachel heard a few chuckles come from the cast as she smiled at Brittany's comment.

"I meant about the choreography."

"Oh, no. It was great. This number is good." Brittany looked down at her notebook and chewed on her pen, "We should probably work on 'Somebody to Love' next."

"Okay, we'll do that after break. Take ten everybody."

Rachel released the breath she hadn't known she was holding, but she supposed it made sense. They had been working on the choreography for "Just the Way You Are" for almost an hour and she was tired of repeating the same moves over and over again just to have Edward or Brittany spot a mistake and making them repeat the number.

"Rachel, you wanna let go of my hands now?"

She looked at her hands which were attached to Finn's just as they were supposed to be at the of the number.

"Oh, sorry Finn."

He grinned at her. "No problem. You should go grab some water; I need to talk with Edward and Brittany."

"Do you want me to join you?"

"No, it's ok. I just noticed one or two things to fix while I was up here. I guess I should have looked at the stage closer before we signed the contract."

Finn leaned down and gave Rachel a questioning look. When she nodded he gave her a quick kiss before walking over to Edward and calling Brittany over.

Rachel grabbed a bottle of water and her phone from her belongings off stage and then joined Santana in the seats. They watched as Finn pointed to something on stage and made a comment to Edward and Brittany who both nodded. Rachel was still amazed at how much Finn knew about the workings of stagecraft.

"So, you two bang last night?"

Rachel almost spit out the mouthful of water she had just taken.

"I will not dignify that with a response."

"So you two did bang. Wow, you guys sure work fast."

Rachel sputtered. "I- We- You- I mean, we did nothing of the sort last night."

Santana turned to look at Rachel and smiled. "You're so cute when you're flustered."

"Careful, Brittany may hear you."

Santana rolled her eyes. "She wouldn't care. She'd agree with me and I know Finn would too."

Rachel's only response to that was to take another drink of water.

"I'm guessing since he kissed you, you guys are back together?"

"Yes, we are giving our relationship another try."

"That's good. You guys were really great for each other back in high school even if you two made me gag with some of the shit you did."

"I suppose it is a good thing that I have no gag reflex then."

"Oh God. TMI. TMI. TMI."

Rachel looked over at Santana and grinned. "Hmm, you're also pretty cute when you get flustered."

"Ha. Ha. You are fucking hi-larious."

A few moments of silence passed as they watched Brittany, Edward, and Finn walk on stage to continue their discussion.

"Santana, I want to thank you for what you did last night."

"What? You mean distracting Kurt? No biggie, Kurt may have bitched about it when we left but he loves hanging out with me and Brittany."

"Not just for that, for everything last night."

"Like I said, no biggie. Plus it's not like you were the only one who got something out of last night. When I woke up this morning I felt like some of the weight had been lifted off my shoulders." She took a deep breath. "It felt really nice."

"You are welcome."

"Just, you know, don't go blabbing about it to everyone you know."

Rachel looked over at Santana. "I won't."

Santana turned to look at Rachel suspiciously.

"What? I am not the same person I was in high school."

"I don't know," Santana's eyes looked over Rachel, "You do have an awful lot of argyle on."

"Kurt says argyle is back in style this season!"

"Yea and a broken clock is right twice a day."

"My sense of fashion is not broken!"

"You're right, it just needs some major tuning."

Rachel whipped her head forward. "I like how I dress."

"Aww, come on, I was joking, sorta."

Rachel felt Santana poking her in the side and tried not to squirm.

"Stop it."

Santana kept poking and Rachel began to fidget.

"Bet you'd rather have Finn poking you."

Rachel tried to put an angry look on her face, but failed, so she tried to keep her face expressionless. That failed when she burst out laughing.

"Show's over bitches."

Rachel looked up from her laughter to find quite a few of her cast mates looking over at her and Santana shaking their heads. Her eyes found Finn who smiled at her then went back to his conversation with Edward and Brittany.

"You guys find a new Josh yet?"

Rachel sighed. "No, it is turning out to be surprisingly difficult."

"Why doesn't Finn just take the part?"

"I- What? He's our stage manager."

"And? He's basically doing the role right now since he's been standing in for a week now and it's not like he hasn't been on stage before."

"He was just an understudy during his time on _Rent_. Things are quite different from college, even Off-Off-Broadway."

"Yea, and you were just the understudy on _Phantom_."

"I was not just the understudy I had to step in for the regular for almost an entire year."

Santana looked at Rachel pointedly.

"What?"

"Finn never told you what happened during _Rent_?"

"He just said he was the understudy for Roger."

"Wow, okay. The guy who was supposed to play Roger got MRSA and wasn't allowed anywhere near campus so Finn played Roger the entire run. I mean the number of times he was on stage is nothing compared to what he'd have to do here but still."

"I didn't know that."

"You know Finn, he's surprisingly modest but steps up when he has to."

"Yes, he does."

The gears in Rachel's mind were turning as they watched Brittany demonstrating some moves that had to be adjusted due to Finn's comments. They suspiciously looked like they belonged to "Just the Way You Are" which didn't surprise Rachel at all. From the look of it, they'd never stop rehearsing that number.

"How long were the runs at Ohio State?"

"The runs?"

"How long did the musicals run at school?"

"Oh. Um. _Rent_ was the spring performance so it had the longest run… I want to say at least a dozen performances over two to three weeks?"

"And Finn was Roger in each one?"

"Yea, apparently they don't care too much about a third string, fifth year senior QB being at spring practice that much."

Rachel tilted her head back as the gears started to spin faster when she heard that Finn had performed that many times in such a short period. The number of performances exceeded what they would have to do Off-Off-Broadway. Finn's stage management duties were no longer that time consuming now that they had nearly all of the blocking complete and he did know most of the lines and blocking for Josh.

Rachel looked back towards stage and saw Finn's conversation concluding. There was no time like the present and she had never been the most patient person.

"Edward, may I speak with you for a moment?"

Edward looked over. "One second. Even your taskmaster of a director needs to get a drink of water sometimes."

Rachel smiled in acknowledgement as she watched Edward grab a bottle of water and walk over to her and Santana.

"One of these days we're going to have to start charging Ms. Lopez for all these free previews we've been giving her."

"Oh please. One word from me and Brittany quits."

"Then again, free tickets for life sounds just as good."

"I knew we'd see eye to eye."

"Pardon me, but I believe I was the one who called you over here."

Edward turned his head to look at Rachel. "Yes, I believe you did."

"I believe Finn should take the role of Josh."

"Do you now?"

"I do. I believe he is perfectly suited for the role and while his only experience on stage was during college, from what I have seen during rehearsal I think he-"

"I agree."

"Please let me finish. He would- What?"

"I said, 'I agree.' The idea came to me last night as I was wondering what we would do about the situation seeing as how we need to restart readings and workshops soon."

Rachel smiled up at Edward. "Great minds do think alike."

"Now we just need to persuade Finn."

"That will be simple enough."

"You sound unworried."

"I have seen this many times. Finn will say no at first but we tell him that we need him to do this. He will begrudgingly agree and he will be great at it."

"Sounds like you've had practice with him."

"Yes, I have."

"Good, then you can do it."

"But you're the director!"

"Exactly. I came to direct the best musical I've read in decades. I did not take a hefty pay cut to cast it." Edward said as he walked away.

Rachel waited until rehearsal was almost over before she discussed the topic with Finn and it unfolded just as she had predicted. Finn vigorously declined at first but after Rachel told him that they needed him to take the role he begrudgingly obliged. Although, not before he extracted a promise out of Rachel to bake him plenty of her sugar cookies in return. It seemed that he had learned how to negotiate during college as well.

"When do you want the first batch?"

"Tomorrow would be good. I need something to snack on during my first official rehearsal as Josh."

"Is food all you ever think about?"

Finn shrugged and grinned. "Yea, pretty much. Oh, and my Xbox."

"Hey, you two lovebirds finished over there? Me and B are starving."

They both glanced towards Santana for a second.

"You wanna come to dinner?"

"I'd be delighted to."

Rachel grabbed her belongings and walked with Finn towards their high school friends hand in hand.

"Oh, look who decided to finally join us."

"Yes, Santana I will be joining you for dinner."

"Great. This means we can't get pizza, unless you wanna just snack on breadsticks all night long."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I would prefer not to. I do know of a Greek place nearby."

"Whatever. Not like I'm buying." Santana pulled out her phone, "I'm gonna text Kurt and Quinn to see if they wanna come."

The four high school friends met up with two more of their number plus one since Quinn decided to drag JD with her and quickly found the small Greek place Rachel knew. It had been a long time since they had been with this many former New Directions members at one time. So, when they were seated they began a lengthy round of "Remember when" with much foggier memories and plenty of corrections and arguments made by all parties that lasted the entire dinner.

Rachel smiled along with everyone else as Quinn had to pause the game every so often to explain a story or character to a confused JD. After all, it was nice to bring someone else into the fold of their shared history, especially if that person made one of them as happy as JD made Quinn.

"Are you kidding? Tina didn't backflip off the stage, that was Mike."

"No way, it was Tina."

"Just because they're both Asian doesn't mean they're the same person. It was Mike. I mean, on what planet do you live on does Tina backflip off a stage after winning a performance?"

"Bitch, on planet Earth Tina did the backflip. Maybe on planet blonde it was Mike."

"Planet blonde? Oh that's it. Remember when Santana got kicked out of prom for dumping the punch bowl all over the hockey players?"

"Fuck yea. Those assholes deserved it and if I remember correctly all of you Glee bitches joined me after ten minutes."

Rachel laughed until her stomach hurt as she watched and listened to Quinn and Santana argue back and forth. She was pretty sure it was Mike but didn't want to weigh in for fear of Santana's wrath. Plus, it was a highly amusing argument over such an inane subject.

When Rachel felt Finn take her hand into his and squeeze she looked up him and smiled her brightest smile which he returned. She saw Kurt's eyes narrow at her when she looked back to the argument.

"Rachel, I need to use the restroom. Would you like to join me?"

"No, Kurt. I'm fine."

"Rachel, I insist."

Rachel looked up at Kurt standing next to her when she heard his tone of voice that sounded like a demand and saw a look of determination on his face.

"Well, if you insist then I suppose I will join you."

Rachel stood up and felt Kurt grab her hand to drag her towards the restrooms. When they reached the hallway with the restrooms he stopped suddenly and whipped around to face her.

Kurt jabbed a finger at her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I am accompanying you to the restroom, although I do not know why."

"I'm talking about you and Finn."

"What about me and Finn?"

"You're smiling at each other like you're back in high school and you've been touching each other all night. Please tell me this isn't what I think it is."

Rachel looked into Kurt's eyes. "I can't do that."

"Rachel, you know I love you. But, Finn's my brother and I won't let you break his heart again."

"I don't believe that's your choice to make. We're both adults and can make our own decisions."

Kurt shook his head. "You didn't see Finn after you broke up with him, I will not let you do that to him again."

"Finn wants to take that chance and so do I."

Kurt opened his mouth to respond but Rachel cut him off.

"May I ask you a question?"

Kurt sighed. "Yes."

"Since you've known him, when has Finn been the happiest?"

"That's not the point."

This time, it was Rachel's voice that was demanding. "Answer the question."

Kurt pursed his lips. "He was happiest when he was with you and I haven't seen him as happy or happier."

"Don't you think he deserves another chance at that?"

"I just don't want him to see him heartbroken again. It was awful back in high school. He barely left his room over summer break and mom and dad had to literally drag him to Ohio State. For God's sake, Santana was the one who kept him going during his first year. Santana!"

A wave of guilt washed over Rachel and she could no longer look Kurt in the eye.

"Just promise me you won't hurt him like last time."

Rachel's eyes found Kurt's again. "I can't do that either. You know I can't. No one knows how this will go. Perhaps I will break his heart again or he will break mine. This is the chance everyone takes in a relationship."

"This isn't some sort of casual fling is it?"

"Of course not. You know both of us better than that."

Kurt took a deep breath and let it out.

"There's nothing I can do to stop this is there?"

Rachel shook her head slightly. "No, there isn't."

"I guess all I can do is wish you two the best then."

"Thank you Kurt, that means a great deal to me."

Neither of them noticed Finn approaching them.

"Hey, what're you guys doing just standing here?"

A look of panic shot across Kurt's face which mirrored her own as she felt Finn put his hands on her shoulders.

"Oh, Kurt was just critiquing my clothes the last time I made an appearance at a party. He says I have greatly improved."

"Yes, I was completely surprised she could put together a complete outfit without my help."

Rachel glared at Kurt who just smiled back.

"Oh, that's cool I guess. Everyone's getting ready to head out." She felt Finn squeeze her right shoulder, "Uh, Santana swiped one of your cards to pay for dinner Rachel. I tried to stop her but you know how scary her nails are."

She looked back at Finn's grimacing face and smiled. "That's fine. I suppose I owe her."

"I gotta use the restroom," Finn brushed past her and Kurt, "See you guys back at the table."

After Finn returned and everyone had put on their coats they made their way outside where they dawdled for a few moments making idle chatter. Rachel noticed that Quinn and JD were off to the side looking and softly smiling at each other while talking quietly. JD leaned over to the side and whispered into Quinn's ear which only made her smile bigger before she turned to the rest of the group.

"Hey, JD and I are gonna head back to his place for a little bit. See you guys later."

JD waved goodbye to everyone while Quinn went around hugging her oldest friends.

"Don't wait up for me." Quinn whispered in Rachel's ear as they hugged which drew a smile from Rachel and a wink from Quinn they let go of each other.

"Come on Kurt, that tourist shit was kinda fun last night. We're doing more tonight."

"No, absolutely not. One night of being a tourist is my quota for the year."

"I'll introduce you to this hot law student I know. He's just your type: Tall, dark, handsome, and gay."

"You think just because he's gay I'll want to meet him?"

"No, I think you'll want to meet him because he reads Vogue more than you do and only wants to talk to me about the heels I'm wearing that day."

"Not good enough, I'm still not being a tourist tonight."

Santana grinned dangerously and switched tactics.

"Say Kurt, where's your hat from?"

"Oh no, don't you dare. This is from my favorite vintage store."

"Oh, so it's some old throwaway right? That means you won't mind if I accidentally drop it in that giant puddle over there."

Kurt narrowed his eyes and never noticed Brittany sliding up beside him.

"Brittany, grab his hat."

Brittany snatched Kurt's hat and raced off with Santana down the street leaving Rachel and Finn standing in front of the restaurant.

"Walk me home?"

"Sure."

As they made their way back to Rachel's apartment she couldn't stop herself from thinking about Kurt's words even as she chatted with Finn. Did she want to take another chance with Finn? Did she want to risk her heart all over again? Did she want to have the responsibility of holding Finn's heart in her hands again? She came to a firm answer just as they reached her building. Yes, yes she did. Now the only question was: Did Finn believe that as well?

"Finn, are you sure you want to do this again? I'd completely understand it if you had reservations and wanted to stop before we became too involved."

"What? Do what?"

"Us. Our relationship."

Finn bent over slightly and took her small hands into his much larger ones. She had always loved the way her hands seemed to disappear into his. It was like they were actually joined together, which now that she thought about it was kind of strange.

"Rachel, I loved you after you broke up with me. I love you right now and I'm pretty sure I will love you until I die. Of course I want to do this again."

Rachel couldn't stop the tear that fell from her right eye. Nor could she stop the smile from appearing on her face when Finn gently wiped it away with his thumb.

"Do you want to come up for some tea?"

"Sure, it'd be nice to warm up for a bit before I head home."

Rachel couldn't explain it if she tried. One minute they were drinking tea and watching TV and the next they were shedding their clothes as fast as they could on their way to her bedroom with their lips locked to each other. As she closed the door to her bedroom, three thoughts flashed through her mind for no real reason. One, she was thankful that Quinn was with JD. Two, so much for taking things slowly. Three, Finn wasn't getting cookies tomorrow.

* * *

It had been an unseasonably cold winter and February was no different. The average high temperature for the month hovered around just below 30 degrees and Rachel didn't spend a single moment outside more than she had to for fear that the cold, dry air would slightly damage her vocal chords. So it was definitely not by choice that she would be standing out in the cold air of Times Square for the next two hours.

Well, technically she had a choice but between standing outside for two hours or having _Glee_ fail its Off-Broadway run, there wasn't much of a choice to be had. After Finn had taken the part of Josh, they had run through two weeks of packed readings and workshops before they premiered to a packed theater. She had taken great pains to make sure her name wasn't mentioned with _Glee_ because she wanted the musical to succeed on its own, not because of the hordes of people who wanted to see a Tony Award winning actress at a reduced cost. However, word had slowly gotten out and soon the Off-Off-Broadway theater they were performing at was packed for every performance.

The production received many offers from Off-Broadway theaters and even a few from Broadway itself. However, when Finn and Edward looked over the Broadway theaters they rejected them due to creative concerns which suited Rachel just fine. This musical would be done correctly on Broadway or it would not be done at all. So they found an Off-Broadway theater that would suit their needs and selected it as their next venue.

After a week of performances the Off-Broadway theater bought out their contract with the Off-Off-Broadway theater intending to put them on as soon as possible. Which is where they ran into their current problem. It was quite easy to fill an Off-Off-Broadway theater that sat only 99 people, it was much harder to fill an Off-Broadway theater that sat close to 900. Even with a positive review from the New York Times, they had trouble selling out the theater on some nights.

So the cast of _Glee_ was participating in the time honored tradition of singing to the tourists in Times Square, hoping that their performance would make a positive impact on their ticket sales and word of mouth.

But it was still cold.

Rachel had bundled up with her warmest coat, scarf, and hat and even though she was still cold all she could think about was the cold air that she was breathing in that was probably causing all sorts of damage to her vocal chords. She even resorted to covering her mouth and nose with her scarf to try and warm the air she was breathing but it didn't help at all. After stamping her feet, partly out of frustration and partly out of the need to warm her legs, Rachel spun around and buried her face into Finn's chest.

The air was still cold.

An idea popped into Rachel's head and she quickly unbuttoned Finn's coat near the middle of his chest, stuck her face inside, and covered the sides of her head with his coat. She took a deep breath and warm air finally filled her lungs. But that wasn't the best part. The best part was that the air smelled like Finn.

She felt him put a hand on the top of her head pulling her closer.

"Too cold?"

She shook her head.

"Worried about your voice?"

She nodded into his chest and felt his chest rumble with laughter.

"It can't be that bad."

Even though he couldn't see her face, she still rolled her eyes.

"I bet you just rolled your eyes at me."

She shook her head.

"Liar."

She poked him in the stomach.

"Okay, you're not lying and you know we've got two thermoses full of hot tea with your name on it after each song."

She patted him on the side.

"Yea, I'll drink some too." He said with a patient tone.

She closed her eyes and breathed in and out for a few moments before stamping her feet again due to the cold.

"Your legs must be freezing, I told you not to wear a skirt."

She shrugged.

He lowered his voice. "Good thing I know the perfect way to warm them up when we're done here."

She smiled into his chest, pushed herself further into him, and took a few more deep breaths basking in the warm air and Finn's scent.

"Crikey! We've spotted the rarest species on the Great White Way! It's a Rachel Berry!" Rachel rolled her eyes at Aaron's fake Australian accent which sounded odd coming from the male soprano, "But this is abnormal behavior for it, hiding her face from view. Usually the species wants to show off in hopes of attracting attention! But wait, look she's found a mate in an extremely large example of a Finn Hudson! This must be some sort of strange bonding ritual. It's never been seen in the wild before!"

"I think your accent needs some work dude."

"Oh come on. It was perfect. I've been watching his stuff nonstop on YouTube. It's my new favorite drug. Plus, it was either Erwin or doing something from Aliens and I'm pretty sure Rachel would kill me if I compared her to a chestbuster."

Rachel had no idea what this Aliens was and after hearing the word "chestbuster" she had absolutely no desire to find out.

She felt and heard Finn laugh. "She would if she knew what it was."

She frowned and poked him harder in the stomach causing him to flinch.

"I'm pretty sure she's going to be even harder on your performance of 'Hold Your Hand' now."

"What? Oh come on. I didn't actually call her a chestbuster."

"Whatever dude. You knew you were playing with fire." Rachel felt Finn take a breath. "We ready yet?"

"Uh, almost. You should probably take one of the cameras since you're the tallest and Rachel needs to take a few of these cards to pass out once she finishes the bonding ritual."

Rachel felt him reach around her to grab what she assumed to be said camera while she pulled a hand out of her pocket and held it out behind her until she felt a stack of cards placed in them. She pulled her head out of Finn's coat and looked down at the stack of cards. She was still amazed at the brilliant simplicity that had come from Santana and Brittany goofing off one day during rehearsal.

They had been rehashing the old joke where they called each other "loser" and making an "L" on their foreheads with the thumb and index finger of their right hands over and over again. It wasn't until Rachel asked them to stop and they turned their attention towards her that the idea struck her. Rachel took a quick photo of Brittany posing with her hand on her forehead and told Quinn her idea that night after rehearsal. Quinn quickly understood what Rachel was trying to do and did a rough Photoshop job on the photo and printed out a copy. They didn't need to tweak the initial version very much which proved just how strong the image was. What they ended up with was Brittany's forehead and hand forming the "L" in the word "Glee" in a red font set against a yellow background, brilliantly simple.

Rachel could envision the one sheets that could be created with all of the actors posing with their right hands forming the "L" required for the title of the musical. But, that could come later when they made it to Broadway. For now, the simple but memorable logo would suffice on the advertisement card they would be handing out this day.

"'Don't Stop' first, right?" Aaron asked.

Finn replied. "Yea, everyone ready?"

Rachel only nodded, protecting her voice for as long as she could, while a chorus of affirmatives went off around her.

Finn took the lead. "Okay, here we go. A one, a two, a one two three four."

As they performed the songs from the first act a decent sized crowd gathered around them. After they finished the songs from the second act, they had passed out half of the cards they had brought with them. When they finished the set list for the first time, the officers who patrolled Times Square came around and asked the massive crowd they drew to disperse since they had completely taken over the intersection.

A quarter of the way through their second time of the set, they ran out of cards to pass out and had to resort shouting out the name of the theater for anyone who wanted to see the show. The autograph seekers came halfway through when someone finally recognized Rachel and the crowds became even larger. She politely signed everything that was thrust her way since she knew it was another price that had to be paid for her success, but only between songs while she sipped her tea.

Two thirds of the way through their third and final time through the set Rachel found a problem with drinking almost two thermoses of tea mostly by herself. She needed to use the restroom, badly. The cold weather wasn't helping her cause either. She noticed herself unconsciously rocking back and forth during the final song and completely missed when Quinn called out to her the first time.

"Rachel! Over here! Smile for the camera!"

Rachel looked over to see Quinn, JD, Kurt, Santana, and Brittany standing in the front of the crowd.

She felt Finn put an arm around her shoulder as she smiled for Quinn's camera. A final few people came up to her for autographs which she quickly gave while the cast gathered their belongings.

"You guys want to grab some food or just some drinks?" Quinn asked after she had finished taking her picture.

Rachel hurriedly replied. "I don't care. Just pick a place, preferably close."

"Uh. There's a bar a few blocks-"

"Perfect. Let's go."

"What's her rush?" She heard Kurt ask as the group set off.

"Uh, probably the two thermoses of tea she drank."

Rachel rolled her eyes at Finn's betrayal and the peals of laughter from her so called friends as she sped off in search of relief.

* * *

Rachel woke up to her alarm.

She tried to reach over to shut it off but found that Finn had his arms wrapped around her. She groaned in frustration as the alarm continued to go off as she finally wriggled an arm free from Finn's grasp and turned it off. She wanted to roll back over and fall asleep with Finn holding her but she set the alarm for a reason so she shot out of bed and prepared to start her day.

After she had finished in the bathroom, she looked back towards Finn who had slept through all of that and smiled. He could sleep through almost anything.

Rachel poured herself a glass of orange juice before grabbing a copy of the New York Times sitting that was sitting outside the apartment door. On this day she was glad that Quinn loved to read the newspaper everyday and had it delivered. She pulled out the "Arts" section and placed the rest of the paper on the kitchen table before sitting down and looking at the section.

What Rachel saw thrilled her.

"_GLEE!_" was printed in large font above an image of the cast performing "Somebody to Love," with the beginning of the review printed underneath. It was an enormous honor for _Glee's _review to take up that much space above the fold and she couldn't help but to admire the image in front of her for a few moments before beginning to read the actual review.

* * *

What clique did you belong to in high school? Were you a jock? A nerd? Perhaps a cheerleader? Or even a musical theater geek? Or maybe you thought yourself too cool to be pigeonholed into one of those categories. Whatever you were, you probably did your best to fit into the social hierarchy because as we all know high school can be a cruel and terrifying time. _Glee_ transports the audience back to a time when things like social status and coolness were of the utmost value and being different is quite possibly the worst, yet best thing you could be.

We find ourselves in the classes and hallways of the fictional Patrick Henry High School located in a small Midwest town, where for many of the students high school, sadly, is the highpoint of their lives. But, not every student believes that. We're immediately introduced to two students on the opposite ends of the social ladder who join the school's Glee club for two different reasons.

After almost two years, Rachel Berry spectacularly returns to Broadway, playing Kate Mitchell, an outcast of a student who wants nothing more than to be, fittingly, a Broadway star. Kate seems to have the stereotypical Broadway diva part of her personality in full working order when we meet her. But, all is not as it seems with regards to Kate who reveals that she has a kind and gentle soul underneath her grating appearance. Ms. Berry plays both sides of Kate's coin to perfection showing that she most definitely can be both a diva and a true friend to everyone, even the people who remind her every day that she is a social outcast.

Of course, it would be remiss not to mention Ms. Berry's voice which, as she has proven over and over again, is one of the best instruments on Broadway. She pours her heart and soul into every solo she has and it especially shows during her performance of Paramore's "The Only Exception." No matter if she is standing still and belting out a Broadway classic or performing a classic rock hit while running through a dance number, her voice stands out among all the others.

Broadway newcomer Finn Hudson, who also wrote the book, plays Josh Williams. He is the star quarterback, who wisely beyond his years understands that he is almost certainly fated to becoming another hometown loser even as he is hailed as a king in school. So he chooses to join the most socially hated group in school because he enjoys singing. Yet, besides that fact, Josh is surprisingly innocent as he is forced by social pressure to bully and harass other students. While not as a strong as Ms. Berry, Mr. Hudson does a commendable job portraying the awkwardness of a student just trying to fit in while not really knowing how.

The chemistry between Ms. Berry and Mr. Hudson is undeniable, as evidenced by the fantastic renditions of Journey's "Faithfully" and Queen's "Somebody to Love." From the moment their characters first meet you know they are destined to be together. As we see the journeys their characters take to find themselves, we also see their journey to find each other, full of poignant moments and heart melting solos. And we most definitely learn that journeys are important, with even the most minor character within the club given a moment to discover who they are and start their own personal journey.

It should be noted that there are no original songs in this musical, however each song that is in the musical was chosen for a specific scene in mind and rearranged by Mr. Hudson expressly for this musical. For the most part, he succeeds in bringing the songs out in a new light. You will not leave the theater without having Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" replaying in your mind over and over again. Lulu's "To Sir, with Love" dangerously borders upon being overly saccharine but serves its purpose. The weakest song is "Just the Way You Are" originally performed by Bruno Mars. Mr. Hudson does an admirable job, however the song just does not seem to fit properly as the rest do.

Three other actors should be noted for their performance. Aaron Johnson wonderfully plays Chris Harrison, the only out of the closet homosexual student, who endures vast amounts of bullying for being who he is. He also has the honor and privilege of superbly performing "I Want to Hold Your Hand," one of the most emotional numbers in the musical. William Schwartz, the club's director, is played by Curtis Jones who dispenses advice to his students and provides a pillar of support. Finally, Mary McDonnell plays the wicked Susan Sylvester, cruel and spiteful leader of the cheerleaders, who would love nothing more than the shut the Glee club down yet we find that while she may not have a heart of gold perhaps she has a heart of bronze.

_Glee_ is a highly exaggerated yet wonderful representation of high school life full of intense characters, touching moments, and life lessons. Don't let the unoriginal set list fool you, this is the most original musical on Broadway and one of, if not the, best.

* * *

Rachel was rereading the review for the third time when she heard the shutter release on a camera. She looked up to find Quinn reviewing the picture she had just taken.

"I think I'll call this one 'A Broadway Reading.'"

"You know, I never thought I would need to hide my face from paparazzi in my own apartment."

"You're lucky I don't sell all the pictures I have of you. I'd make a fortune."

"Well, at least let me see the photo before you sell it."

Rachel waited as Quinn transferred the photograph to her laptop and pulled it up.

"Wow. I'm always amazed by your photographs of me."

"Helps to have a beautiful subject to shoot. And the morning light from the window was perfect for once."

Rachel had to agree. She had her chin resting on her knee as she leaned forward to read the paper with her hair falling messily around her face and the morning light had gently illuminated the side of her face creating a wonderful interplay of light and shadow. It was an excellent picture.

Quinn entered a few keystrokes and the image became even better when it was converted to black and white.

"Perfect. Now I can print this out and you can stick it in your personal collection before I go hawking it to the tabloids."

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"So, good review?"

Rachel handed the Arts section over to Quinn and flipped through the rest of the paper as Quinn read the review.

"Wow. The critic really loved it."

"Of course he did. _Glee_ is a fantastic musical. Although, I did not like that he disparaged Finn."

"What? He didn't do that. He liked Finn."

"He made critical comments regarding his performance and song selection."

"Those weren't that critical and he gave his opinion because that's his job and he said Finn did a good job."

"Well, in my opinion, his opinion on Finn is terrible. But overall, I suppose I am happy with his review."

Quinn rolled her eyes as she got up to go to the kitchen. She came back with a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice.

"Finn still sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Wore him out last night did you?"

Rachel's cheeks flushed.

"We were quite excited over the Broadway premiere."

Quinn chuckled. "I don't see why. You guys have been performing on that stage for two weeks already."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Those were just previews while we worked on the finishing touches. We officially opened last night."

"Yes, I know. I was there. But, it's still strange to me."

"It's just different, as if there's more pressure on everyone once the show has premiered. I don't really know how to explain it."

Quinn's jaw dropped. "I'm shocked. After almost a decade, I've finally heard you say you can't explain something with words."

Rachel rolled her eyes again and went back to reread the last paragraph of the review.

Quinn took a deep breath. "Rachel, I have something to tell you."

Rachel looked up to see a serious expression on Quinn.

"Is something wrong?"

Quinn shook her head. "No, nothing's wrong. JD asked me to move in with him."

"And?"

"And I think I'm going to do it."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"In a few weeks."

Rachel shot out of her seat and pulled Quinn to her feet to give her a hug.

"That's great! I'm thrilled for you."

Quinn pulled away with a confused look. "That's all you're going to say?"

Rachel smiled at Quinn. "What else is there to say? I see how happy he makes you and how happy you make him."

"I thought you'd have more questions."

"Why would I? I'm sure you have given this much thought and I don't have any reason to try to dissuade you. Neither will anyone else. We all love JD."

Quinn smiled and pulled Rachel back into a hug.

Rachel really was happy for Quinn but she now found herself without a roommate. As she saw it, she had three options. One, she could find another roommate but she didn't have the time to spare to search for one. Two, she could pay the rent for the apartment by herself but she that would take up over half of her monthly salary which was out of the question. The third option was to find a smaller apartment and live there herself which the more she thought about it the better it seemed.

Rachel was pulled from her thoughts by Quinn.

"I'm going to get ready. I'm need to meet JD to tell him."

Rachel was confused. "You told me first?"

Quinn smiled at Rachel and shrugged. "Who else would I tell?"

As Quinn left, Rachel continued to ponder over her dilemma until she heard her bedroom door open and the solution to her problem appeared in front of her with bed hair and a sleepy expression on his face.

"Finn would you like to move in with me?"

He looked up, still with sleep in his eyes, and smiled his half smile.

"Sure."

* * *

A/N 2: Well, after the emotional stuff in the previous chapter, I can't help but feel that this one is kind of a sharp drop off.

One chapter left after this plus the epilogue.

Also, lazy writer is lazy.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Once again, thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. I never expected to get this sort of response.

* * *

Rachel Berry was no longer afraid of the dark.

Well, that was a lie.

She was still afraid of the dark but she had found a way to deal with the fear that came with it. She no longer succumbed to the terror that gripped her when darkness surrounded her and it was all thanks to Finn. So on this day, when the darkness surrounded her she thought of the memory that would see her through her fear.

She was walking around the lake back home in Lima.

Finn had surprised her with a trip back to Lima over Thanksgiving, since they had agreed they would spend a quiet evening together with their friends who had stayed in the city. Instead, they spent an evening with their parents and old family friends. But, they had both forgotten just how little Lima had in the way of entertainment options, but neither of them minded since they had each other. Bowling and wasting the night away in the bar Puck ran quickly lost their luster, so that Saturday Finn had brought her on a late night stroll around the lake.

As they walked around the lake hand in hand, she caught him looking up at the night sky more and more often.

"Finn, what're you looking at?"

"The stars. Take a look."

Rachel lifted her head to look up and saw thousands upon thousands of stars illuminating the night sky.

"A lot different than what we have in New York right?"

Her eyes darted around trying to seek out each individual star. "Yes, they are much brighter."

"Yea, I've missed seeing this."

"I never really noticed until just now."

"It's kinda interesting. It's not actually the brightness of the stars that change, it's the fact that there are too many lights in New York so it washes out the stars."

"Oh, that is interesting."

"I mean, it's like when we're on stage kinda."

"Is it?"

"Yea, cause we're like stars on the stage and so we can't have any other light in the theater otherwise people would get distracted and stuff and we'd be washed out."

"Hmm, yes, that is true."

"But, I guess it's kinda different too."

"How so?"

"Like, if we killed all the lights on stage, people would still know to look at the stage even if they can't actually see us. Cause you know, people always want to see the stars."

"I never thought of that." She looked up at him, "Aren't you afraid that the lights may never come back on? What if the audience leaves? Then no one will be watching."

"Still scared of the dark?"

"No, why would I be-" Finn gave her look, "Okay, fine. I am still scared of the dark. I'm still afraid of not being seen."

"I don't know why. I mean, if those creepy tabloid people could, they'd follow you everywhere for the entire day and people pay like hundreds of dollars just to see you up on stage and then they wait hours outside the theater just to catch a glimpse of you. But, even if none of that were true. I would always look for you. Always." He took a breath, "I sound stupid don't I?"

She hooked her arm around his and leaned into him. "No, that was incredibly insightful."

Finn began pointing out constellations, but Rachel's mind was focused on what Finn had said. She found it more and more insightful. It was true, she was a star and people would look for her no matter what. No matter if she was on stage doing her job or on the street taking a walk, there would be people looking for her just to see her. It wouldn't matter if it was the brightest day or the darkest night she would always be shining and people would always be searching for her. But more importantly, Finn would always look for her and that meant more than all the press and fame in the world.

The first few notes of "Faithfully" pulled her out of her memory and into an older one as she looked over to see a followspot light up Finn as he began to sing. She was touched that Finn had kept the arrangement of "Faithfully" the same as it was when they performed it in high school. But, she wasn't surprised since the song meant so much to them and their relationship in high school and beyond. She stepped forward as her own followspot lit her up and she began to sing into the microphone she held.

Once again, she was grateful to the Tony Awards' director who allowed her and Finn to start in the aisles of Radio City Music Hall. However, it wasn't Glee that she thought of, it was_ Glee_. After five months of a sold out Off-Broadway run, the right Broadway Theater had come along with an offer. It wasn't the biggest theater and they just missed the eligibility date for that year's Tonys, but it was the best theater for their purposes. The stage was the perfect size, it had enough room for the school sets they wanted to use but never could on the smaller theater Off-Broadway and during performances there was room for the musicians to be on stage to accompany the vocals. But more importantly, the theater had exits on the side with access to the backstage so Finn and she could begin "Faithfully" from the audience as they had years ago and stairs in front of the audience that led up the stage.

Unlike her last performance at the Tony Awards, she didn't care about taking in the sights. She only had eyes for Finn and she lost herself in his eyes as their voices blended together over and over again. She trusted her muscle memory to guide her steps, since all she could see were Finn's face and his eyes, as she slowly made her way to the stage.

She heard the rest of the cast join in when they were supposed to as she belted out her lines near the end of the song, all the while still looking at Finn. She extended her arm towards Finn as they both sang the final word and he took her hand. As their voices faded out, he smiled at her and she returned it before she turned to face the audience.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the cast of _Glee_," They let go of each other for a moment to gesture towards their cast mates, "Welcomes you to the 74th Tony Awards show."

They once again smiled at each other before turning their backs to the audience as they walked the few steps to reach the rest of their cast mates before stopping as their hit their marks. As soon as they did, Rachel along with the rest of the cast began to sing their second and final song of their performance. While there was some discussion as to what the first song would be, the cast and director eventually decided upon "Faithfully." There was absolutely no question in anyone's mind that "Don't Stop Believin'" would be the song they finished with.

Unlike "Faithfully," Finn had rearranged "Don't Stop Believin'" for the musical. It was amazing the sound that could be produced with a full band and almost a quarter of a full orchestra. The overall sound was fuller and richer than what they had ever been able to achieve in high school and she was very impressed with Finn's arrangement.

The cast finished their performance to a standing ovation and walked off stage. Rachel and Finn took their time changing out of their costumes and making their way to their seats since the show had just begun. They had no reason to hurry because the awards they were nominated for were going to be presented near the end of the show. But, they didn't take too much time since there were still important awards to be handed out and just as they settled into their seats, they heard the first one.

"The American Theater Wing's Tony Award goes to Brittany Pierce, _Glee._"

She shot out of her seat, a moment before Finn, to cheer and applaud, ignoring the looks she was given from the people around her. She didn't care that it wasn't proper to cheer this much for the winner of this award, at that moment all she could do was be happy for her friend. She looked over a few rows towards Santana and smiled when saw the Latina on her feet clapping and crying for the person she loved.

Brittany was able to get though her entire speech without going off on a random tangent but couldn't seem to help herself when the last sentence out of her mouth was about ducks which drew laughs from the audience.

She passed the time by telling Finn about the nominees for each category as they came up. She described their previous accomplishments and why they deserved to be nominated this year. She knew he didn't really care, but it kept her mind off of the awards that _Glee_ was nominated for. She really wanted _Glee_ and its cast to be recognized for all their hard work and what they had accomplished. Of course, it didn't help that _Glee_ was nominated in so many categories so she was talking to Finn constantly only pausing as the winners were announced.

Best Scenic Design of a Musical.

"The American Theater Wing's Tony Award goes to Monica Cavanaugh, _Glee_."

Best Sound Design of a Musical.

"The American Theater Wing's Tony Award goes to Finn Hudson, _Glee_."

Best Orchestrations.

"The American Theater Wing's Tony Award goes to Finn Hudson, _Glee_."

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Musical.

"The Tony Award goes to Aaron Johnson, _Glee_."

Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical.

"The American Theater Wing's Tony Award goes to Mary McDonnell, _Glee_."

Best Book of a Musical.

"The Tony Award goes to Finn Hudson, _Glee_."

Best Direction of a Musical.

"The American Theater Wing's Tony Award goes to Edward Adams, _Glee_."

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical.

"The Tony Award goes to Edwin May, _Yank!_"

Rachel's eyes shot open as Finn pulled his hand away from hers to stand up to clap for the winner. After a moment she mimicked Finn's actions, to congratulate the winner. When she looked up at him all he did was smile at her and shrug, as if to say he didn't mind at all. She shouldn't have minded since she did see the musical and came away very impressed with Mr. May's performance, but that still didn't stop her from feeling as if she was back in her first year in Glee and a solo had just been taken away from her.

That old anger and frustration built up until she felt Finn tap her on the shoulder.

"Hey, no need to get angry." Finn said as Mr. May finished his speech, "We're cleaning up here. Eight out of nine isn't bad and there are still two more to go."

"I just wanted you to be recognized for all the hard work you put in."

"I got nominated didn't I?"

"You're right." She sighed, "They did recognize you, just not as much as I had hoped."

Finn looked up in thought for a moment. "You know, I never thought I'd say this but, I'm pretty sure I have more Tony Awards than you."

Rachel narrowed her eyes at Finn.

"And it's all thanks to you." He said as he kissed her, melting away her anger and annoyance.

"You're very lucky that I love you."

"I know I am. I love you too."

Two categories left. Strangely, she wasn't nervous at all for the next one. There was no question as to who would win the award.

Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical.

"The American Theater Wing's Tony Award goes to Rachel Berry, _Glee_."

Rachel calmly walked on stage and accepted her award. This time, she remembered the speech she had prepared and rehearsed, which to be honest was slightly generic, but all she could think about was the last category of the night. It was almost all she thought about since the nominations were announced. The one category that she wanted _Glee_ to win above all else.

Best Musical.

Her leg started to jump as the nominees were announced and she gripped Finn's hand tighter and tighter. She held her breath and crossed her fingers as the presenter opened the envelope. She watched as the presenter smiled when she read what was typed out in the folder.

Time seemed to slow down as the presenter took a breath and then opened her mouth. It seemed to take forever before she began speaking.

"Was there ever any doubt?" The presenter took another breath, "The 2019 Tony Award for Best Musical goes to _Glee_."

* * *

"Hi, I'm Elle Montgomery for E! News here at the 74th Tony Awards, with me is the star of _Glee_, Rachel Berry along with her co-star and the creator of _Glee, _Finn Hudson."

Rachel and Finn smiled and waved for the camera.

"First off, congratulations on winning ten out of eleven of the Tonys you were nominated for, including Best Actress in a Musical and Best Musical."

Rachel replied. "Thank you, it's an honor and a privilege to have our hard work acknowledged by the voters."

Finn chimed in. "Yea, I never thought this would happen in like a million years. It's pretty cool."

"And of course, one of those is your second Tony for Best Actress in a Musical."

"Yes, I'm thrilled to have been honored again."

Elle turned her head. "Finn, how does it feel to win three Tonys?"

"I still can't believe it. I always thought this was like some random thing I'd write that would never be seen by anyone else."

"Well, plenty of people have seen your musical, including me and I can't tell you how much I loved _Glee_ when I saw it. Everyone in it was amazing and the story was so inspiring."

"I'm glad that you enjoyed the production. We do have an amazing cast and what we have been able to do is something truly special. We're thrilled to be able to share that with everyone who sees it."

"One thing that I can't get over is how real the characters seemed to be and there's a story out there that _Glee_ is actually a semi-autobiographical tale for the two of you. Just how true is it?"

Rachel looked at Finn who just shrugged slightly.

"Yes, _Glee_ was inspired by our high school lives, as well as the lives of our friends. Obviously, there are many differences since a two hour musical could never to justice to three important years of our lives, but there are many similarities as well."

"Are these the same friends you talked about during the speech for your first Tony win?"

Rachel smiled softly. "I'm surprised that you remembered but, yes, they are."

"Well, after seeing _Glee,_ it's obvious why they mean so much to you."

"They are a special group of people."

"So, does this mean you two were high school sweethearts? Or did Finn dream that up for the script?"

"Yes, we were in a relationship during high school."

"And now? There are quite a few pictures of you two together around town."

"Yes, we are in a relationship again."

"May I ask how long you two have been going out?"

She smiled and took Finn's hand. "We've been seeing each other for about a year and a half now."

"Really? I'm surprised you two were able to keep it quiet for so long."

Finn shrugged. "We never really tried to, it just sort of happened. But uh, I guess you can officially break the news."

"I'd be happy to. It's a sad day here at the 74th Tony Awards, where I've just learned that Broadway stars Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson are both off the market. All you guys and gals can start weeping now, I know I am."

Elle turned and winked at Rachel and Finn.

Rachel only smiled as she fought the urge to roll her eyes while Finn chuckled beside her.

"Well, that's all the time we have. Congrats again on your big night."

"Thank you."

"Thanks."

"And we're out. Good job you guys."

After a technician to took away their microphones, Rachel leaned into Finn as they started to walk away from the makeshift TV set.

"Tired?"

"Just a little."

"Wanna head home?"

"No, we need to make an appearance at the official after party."

"What? Why?"

"If we don't, everyone will talk about it. The production doesn't need any bad press, especially when it is so easily avoided."

"That's stupid."

Rachel sighed. "Yes, yes it is."

Rachel and Finn made their way to the after party and quickly found a table with some of the cast mates off to the side where they accepted congratulations and praise while signing programs and napkins when they were offered. When they weren't doing either of those things, they spoke quietly with each other about whatever came to their minds trying to pass the time until Rachel deemed they had spent enough time at the party. Eventually all of the cast members but Aaron left to wander around the party.

"Rachel?"

She looked up and saw a face that looked slightly familiar.

"Rachel Berry?"

"Yes?"

"It's me, Jesse."

"I'm sorry, you look familiar but I can't quite place the name."

"Jesse St. James? We went to high school together and dated for a little while?"

For a moment Rachel had no idea who he was, then a flood of memories came back to her.

"Hello."

Vocal Adrenaline.

"Run Joey Run."

Beth.

"Total Eclipse of the Heart."

Shelby.

"Like a Virgin."

The egging.

Rachel politely smiled. "Oh Jesse. Yes, I do remember you." She would be pleasant with him, "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Finn on the other hand. "Yea, what'd you want?"

"I just wanted to congratulate Rachel on her win tonight."

"Oh, well, thank you. That is very gracious of you." Rachel gestured towards Finn, "Finn was also recognized numerous times tonight."

"Really?" Jesse put on a smile that didn't come close to reaching his eyes, "I didn't think he had it in him."

"Great. Thanks. You can get going now."

"Why? What's the rush? We can catch up with each other."

Rachel felt Finn's leg begin to twitch against hers. She looked over and gave him a reassuring smile, which slowed the twitching slightly.

Rachel got right to the point. "So, what brings you to the after party? Have you made it to Broadway?"

"I've had a few roles here and there, but nothing major so far." Rachel had a suspicious feeling, "That's kind of what I was hoping to speak to you about." She fought the urge to roll her eyes as her feeling was confirmed, "To have the recommendation of a Tony Award winning actress would do wonders for my career."

Finn's leg stopped twitching and she saw him grip the stem of the wine glass he was holding until his knuckles paled out of the corner of her eye. She reached under the table to rub his leg until she saw the color come back to his hand.

"I would be happy to put in a good word for you with a few of my friends. They are always looking for good talent."

She saw Finn's head snap towards her and she gave him another reassuring smile.

"You would? That'd be great. I knew you'd help me. I mean ever since that idiot Edward Adams," Sharp intakes of breath came from Aaron and Finn, "fired me during _Phantom _I haven't even been able to get an audition on Broadway."

The smile fell off Rachel's face. "You do know Edward directed _Glee_ correct?"

"Really? I'm surprised you were able to win that Tony with that gasbag directing you." Rachel's eyes narrowed slightly, "I mean all he does is go on and on about this and that. I mean really, telling me what I should be doing? That man is so full of himself."

Finn's leg began to twitch again.

Rachel had to fight to keep her voice steady. "He has won multiple Tony Awards for his direction. You would have been wise to take his advice."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "He was stifling my creativity."

"I can't see how being the case. Edward is very open when it comes to the input of his actors. What role were you cast as?"

"I was part of the ensemble."

Rachel had to stop her jaw from dropping as heard Finn and Aaron cough out a few laughs. "Your job as an ensemble member is to support the rest of the cast, not to stand out."

He rolled his eyes again. "I always stand out. That is the definition of a star." He looked down at Rachel, "Perhaps it would be best if you didn't put in a word for me. I may not like whoever it is you talk to if this is your attitude now." He sneered, "You used to be better than this."

Rachel took a deep breath to calm herself. "Better? Perhaps, but I am grateful for the person I am now. And yes, I believe not speaking on your behalf would be the best for both of us." Rachel couldn't resist one dig, "Good luck, I believe you'll need it."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "A true star doesn't need luck," He said as he walked away.

Rachel's eyes followed Jesse as he walked to the table beside them and when she saw him pick up a tray of drinks she looked over to Finn and Aaron and they couldn't help the laughter that spilled out of them.

"Holy shit, I just met Scarlett Johansson and what're we laughing at?"

Rachel looked up to see Santana and Brittany, who was cradling her Tony Award like a baby.

"Oh, nothing. Just an old acquaintance from high school."

"Really? Who was it?"

"A real asshole." Aaron replied.

Santana shot Aaron a glare. "That doesn't help, there were a lot of those."

"Jesse." Finn spat out.

"Who?"

"Jesse St. James."

Santana looked puzzled. "Who the hell is that?"

"From Vocal Adrenaline."

Her eyes narrowed, " The guy who egged you? Wait, that douche bag is here? Where is he?" She turned her head to scan the crowd, "I've a punch bowl with his name written all over it."

"Santana, don't worry about it. He's not worth it."

Santana was still scanning the crowd. "Oh, it'd definitely be worth it to see him wearing a punch bowl as a hat and the punch as a suit."

Aaron began scanning the crowd as well. "I definitely agree with her."

Rachel grinned. "Perhaps if we weren't in such a public place."

Santana sighed and turned her head to face Rachel and Finn. "You're right. Getting kicked out of an after party wouldn't be great for my career. Anyway, this party blows. We're going to another one and you three are coming with us."

"Santana-"

"No, is not the answer I'm looking for. You guys just cleaned house and have a day off tomorrow. There's no way you're going home at 9:30."

Rachel looked over at Finn who just shrugged.

"I suppose we'll join you for a short time."

"Damn straight you will. Let's go."

As they made their way to the exit, applause built in the ballroom and by the time they reached the exit Rachel couldn't hear anything but the roar of thousands of hands. She gestured towards Finn, Aaron, and Brittany to turn around and as one they bowed before making their way out of the hotel to a waiting limo.

Santana spoke to the driver for a moment before the privacy glass closed and then typed on her phone for a few seconds. She put away her phone and pulled Brittany over to cuddle with, mimicking Finn and Rachel in the opposite seat while Aaron stretched out on the seat to the side.

"Where are we going?" Rachel asked.

"It's a surprise." Rachel rolled her eyes, "Don't worry, you'll like it."

Rachel sighed, closed her eyes, and settled into Finn's chest.

"Finn?"

"Yea?"

"Talk to me."

"About what?"

"Anything. I just want to hear your voice."

Rachel heard nothing for a moment before Finn began rambling about the NBA playoffs, not exactly the most interesting subject, but she did just want to hear his voice and feel the rumbling of his chest as he talked. She started to drift in and out of that timeless period of being half-asleep and half-awake as the limo swayed underneath her and Finn's voice filled her ears.

She felt Finn shake her shoulder twice.

"Rachel, we're here."

She slowly opened her eyes and Finn brushed a few strands of hair away from her face.

"We don't have to go to the party if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay. I feel much more refreshed now."

"You sure?"

Rachel nodded and slid her way out of the limo.

She found herself standing in front of Les Halles.

"Like your surprise?"

She smiled and looked over at Santana. "I do."

"It gets better. Come on let's go inside."

Rachel waited for Finn to get out of the limo before hooking her arm around his and walking inside. She noticed a sign that said "Closed for Private Party" and grinned. Inside, she found Aaron already making his way towards a group of tables filled with drinks and food that had been pushed together with her closest friends sitting at them. Quinn, JD, Kurt and Tim were there, along with Megan and John who were joined by Aaron.

"Welcome to Les Halles Ms. Berry. Congratulations on your victory tonight."

"Hello Traci. Thank you and it is good to be back."

She looked back towards Santana and grinned. "It did get better."

Santana smirked. "Told you." She screamed out, "Let's get some more drinks here!"

Everyone at the table turned to look at the group that had just walked in and cheered. Santana stepped aside and gestured towards Rachel, Finn, and Brittany. Rachel grinned, motioned for Aaron to join them, and once he did, they linked arms and all took a bow.

As everyone began to walk towards the tables, Rachel pulled Santana over.

"Did you set all of this up?"

Santana jerked her head in Finn's direction.

"Finn did this?"

"Yea."

"Why were you the one setting things up tonight?"

Santana gave her a pointed look.

"Oh, I would have asked too many questions and found out."

"You win. You know what your prize is?" She smirked at Rachel, "You get to be our waiter!"

"What? I'm wearing a dress. I can't be a waiter in this."

Santana rolled her eyes. "I bet you don't even know who made that thing."

"I'll have you know, I'm wearing a one of a kind Oscar de la Renta." Santana was gaping at her, "I may not appreciate haute couture, but I do need to know if I am asked."

Santana rolled her eyes then smirked. "Oh, I see how it is. Now that you're wearing some fancy ass dress, the Broadway diva is too good to help out her old friends now."

Rachel's eyes narrowed, "Hold my shoes." She reached down and pulled off her shoes, "They're Christian Louboutins by the way. Don't you dare steal them," She handed the red soled heels to a laughing Santana, "They must be returned."

She turned around to find Traci standing next to her.

"Traci, perfect. I need you to-"

Traci held up a pair of flats. "Bring you the spare set of flats you keep here?"

"Thank you."

"You are welcome."

By now, the entire party was laughing at Rachel's sudden return to being a waiter as she approached them wearing much more comfortable shoes.

"Hello, my name is Rachel and I'll be your waiter today. Would you all like to start out with some drinks perhaps?"

The entire table erupted as everyone began shouting drink orders at her and she rolled her eyes.

"One at a time. Ladies first, Quinn?"

After she received all their drink orders she headed over to the bar to find Taylor working it.

"Taylor, I'm surprised you are working tonight."

"Traci called in the big guns for this private party, plus it's not every day I get to serve a table full of award winning actors and actresses."

"You serve me almost every day at lunch!"

"You don't count, you're Rachel."

Rachel rolled her eyes, gave the drink order to Taylor, and walked over to Traci.

"Who are the runners tonight?"

"Just Frank and don't take food orders, Carlos is preparing small bites to share."

Rachel nodded. "You can tell Frank not to worry. I have two perfect candidates to replace him."

She looked back to the bar to check on Taylor's progress before she walked back to the table and wrapped her arms around Finn.

"Finn, I have a favor to ask."

He turned his head to look at her. "What's up Rach?"

"Be a food runner for me."

"But there should be someone running food for us!"

"Yes, and there should be someone waiting for us as well, but as you can see I am doing that. Plus, I saw you laughing as I made my way over here to take the drink order so I believe this would be a fitting way to pay you back."

Finn smiled and shook his head. "Fine, I'll go get our drinks then."

Laughter filled the table once again as Finn made his way to the bar.

Rachel pointed across the table. "Tim, you need to run food from the kitchen."

He stopped laughing. "What?"

She glared at him. "You were laughing the hardest at Finn and I, so I believe it would be an appropriate punishment."

Tim's eyes shot around the table begging for help that never came.

What did come was teasing from Santana. "I guess the New York Times best seller is too good to carry some food."

Tim could only laugh as he stood up. "Okay, okay, you always do get your way Rachel."

After an hour, all three of the former Les Halles staff members had vacated their new duties and were sitting in their seats. Rachel listened as groups splintered off to form new conversations then people regrouped as conversations flowed from one topic to another. She made her opinion known as conversations shifted towards topics that interested her and fell into an attentive silence when topics she had no knowledge of were brought up.

She leaned over onto Finn's arm as they group listened to Quinn and JD's wedding horror stories from their jobs. Tales of drunk bridesmaids, lost rings, and nasty mother-in-laws drew laughter from the people around the table. The conversation suddenly shifted when Santana was reminded of a fellow law student and so that story needed to be told, which led to Megan and John telling a few behind the scenes incidents from Broadway theaters.

"Uh, can I talk to you for a second?"

She looked up to see Finn staring intently at her.

"Of course Finn."

His eyes darted around.

"Like, in private."

"Oh. Of course."

They got up and made their way over to an empty section of the restaurant. Rachel noticed the conversation at the table slowly died down as they moved away, but thought nothing of it.

Finn suddenly stopped and she crashed into his back, rubbing her nose as she stumbled backwards until he steadied her.

"Sorry. I uh, just have to get this out."

"Get what out?"

"What I have to say to you, it's like," He ran a hand through his hair, "The only thing I've been thinking about for weeks."

Rachel was suddenly slightly nervous as terrible scenarios ran through her head by the dozens. The nervousness and scenarios flew right out the window when she saw him get down on one knee and pull out a small black ring box to hold up. He opened it to reveal a diamond cut almost in the shape of a sphere, but as she looked closer she saw facets sticking out along the edges and when she realized it was a star her breath was taken away.

"This uh, totally wasn't how I wanted to do this but if I didn't do it tonight I think I would have really messed it up. Wait, that was stupid. Let me start over." He took a deep breath and she couldn't help the small smile from appearing on her face, "Like, ever since that stupid thing with Santana and Christmas I'm pretty sure I wanted-," A grimace appeared on his face and her smile became wider, "Crap, you told me to never talk about that again." He lowered his head, "I really messed this up didn't I?"

She cupped his face with her hands and rubbed small circles on his cheeks with her thumbs. When she felt the grimace fall from his face, she lifted his face up and leaned in to kiss him.

"Finn, it was perfect. And yes, I will marry you."

* * *

A/N 2: First off, I need to apologize to all of the Jesse fans who are reading this story. I told myself that if I ever wrote fanfic I wouldn't have a character turn into a giant asshole just so the story would work, but what'd I know? I needed a character to show Rachel what she was like before Glee and the journey that she's taken, whether she realized it or not and Jesse was the only character from the show that fit the bill. Plus, he was written so randomly on the show I feel as though he could have turned out this way. There are rumors he is coming back which will make my Jesse completely OOC but whatever.

Also, I went back and fixed all of the previous chapters. Mostly typos and word choice changes. Two semi-major changes were Rachel's first night on Broadway which I didn't feel was Rachel enough and her speech at the Tony Awards which I felt was way too cheesy even for Glee but both scenes are still the same I just changed a few words here and there.

Only the epilogue is left. Look for it to come out sooner than later since it'll resemble the prologue lengthwise more than one my usual chapters.

Oh yea, I think I'm supposed to talk about how I love/hate Lea Michele's diva behavior or something. I don't care. I don't know her. She could be the biggest bitch in the world or the nicest human being to ever walk on the Earth and I still wouldn't care because it doesn't affect me at all. She just needs to keep acting and singing.


	10. Chapter 10: Epilogue

Rachel Berry couldn't stop crying.

She cried in her dressing room, forcing her to reapply her makeup over and over again until she finally gave up and wiped it all away.

She cried when she stepped on stage.

She cried when the followspot lit her up for her first monologue and stumbled her way through it.

She cried through the first song, ruining a beloved song.

She cried so much she could barely see through the tears, throwing off the blocking for every song she was in.

She cried during her scenes, during her dialogue, during her solos, during her time backstage.

It was, by far, the worst performance of her career, of her entire life even.

She knew the audience didn't spend their hard earned money to watch her cry her way through the performance.

But, she couldn't stop crying.

No.

She would not do this.

This was not who she was.

She was Rachel Berry and she could do anything.

A deep breath was taken and the tears were forced to stop.

She gathered herself before the third act. Every mark and cue was hit perfectly. She poured every ounce of emotion she had into the scenes. Every note was hit as if it was the last song she would ever sing.

And then, it was the last song.

She sang her heart out and all the long hours of rehearsal got her through the steps as she forced herself not to cry. She dropped her head, extended her right arm, and her hand formed the "L" that everyone on Broadway knew as she sang the final word to the reprise of "Don't Stop Believin'." All the lights in the theater went out and she dropped her arm.

She never cried harder in her life at that moment.

The lights came back on.

Finn put his left arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him and she buried her face into his side.

After a few moments, she heard him speak.

"Want me to go first?"

She looked up and shook her head, tears still flowing. "No, I can do this."

Finn smiled his half smile and pulled her tighter against him.

She looked towards the audience, all of whom had risen to their feet while clapping and cheering for the cast, for her, for Finn. She wiped away tears as she patiently waited for them to quiet down and when they did she slightly shifted away from Finn.

"I'm sorry for tonight. I need to apologize to each and every one of you in the audience for my terrible-"

The audience resumed their clapping and cheering, drowning out her apology and forcing her to smile softly as she once again was forced to wait.

"Thank you. That means more to me than you can ever know." She wiped away more tears and sniffed a few times, "This is my final- No, this is our final performance here on _Glee_ and words cannot describe what I am feeling right now. This musical means the world to us. Everyone knows that this is our story, that this is who we are. I have loved every single moment of the journey it has taken me on, from Off-Off-Broadway to this very stage and moment. I am honored and thrilled to have been able to share what we love with you and everyone else who has seen this. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as we have."

She had to pause once again as the applause and cheers restarted.

"There are too many people I need to thank, but I need to begin with my dad and daddy," She pointed at them in the front row and held back a sob, "who have done so much for me all my life. My friends," She gestured towards Kurt, Tim, Quinn, and JD in the same row, "who have laughed and cried and been there with me through all these years." She gestured behind her and a few tears escaped, "The entire cast of this musical, the ones who are on stage with me tonight and the ones that have moved on to other things. I need to-"

She couldn't hold her tears back anymore and buried herself into Finn's side again.

"Uh, like Rachel said, tonight is our last performance and I'd like to thank my mom and dad, my friends, my fellow cast mates, all of the musicians and the great behind the scenes people who do all the really hard work here."

She pulled herself away from Finn long enough to grab a few bouquets of flowers being held out to her, which she cradled up against her stomach, up against the new life it held.

"I need to thank Edward Adams, our director, cause he's been fantastic and this never would have happened without him. Oh and I really need to thank a group of people who traveled a long way to see the show. They're all the way in the back I think, but yea, they're here all the way from Lima, Ohio. They're the people who inspired this musical, Mr. Schue and New Directions!"

Rachel's face shot up to look at a smiling Finn as the audience cheered and clapped for people whom they didn't know personally but knew in spirit.

"Surprise."

She wiped away more tears and smiled.

"Wanna say anything else?"

She nodded.

"There is one more person I need to thank." She looked up at Finn, "That would be my husband, the writer of this musical, and the love of my life, Finn Hudson."

She had to laugh as the audience began to chant "FIN-CHEL" over and over again. Finn had let their old nickname slip during an interview and it had taken on its own life among the fans of _Glee._

They took a final bow before they walked off stage, as the audience continued to chant and applaud. They walked to their dressing rooms that stood side by side and paused outside her door.

She looked up at him. "Finn, I need a few moments alone."

He smiled at her. "Sure, no problem."

After one last look at Finn, she opened the door that had her name and a gold star on it and walked into the room. She took a seat in front of her mirror and wiped away a few final tears.

Her left arm still cradled the bouquets of flowers against her stomach, the flat stomach that would soon no longer be flat. She put the flowers down and rubbed her stomach slowly. They would have to tell their friends and family about it and it would probably be soon. She never was a patient person. Telling the public could wait, but they had agreed they would take a hiatus from Broadway. Neither of them knew for how long.

She changed out of her costume which wasn't much of a costume at all. After all, she had used clothing from her own personal wardrobe during their Off-Off-Broadway and Off-Broadway runs and assisted the costume designer in picking out her costumes on their Broadway run. No one else could really come close to her sense of style.

She returned to her seat and went through one last post performance ritual which she considered the most important. The old star pendant necklace was removed from around her neck and her wedding band was slipped off the chain. She rolled it between her thumb and index finger once to read the inscription, "Forever Yours, Faithfully" before it found its way to its rightful home on her ring finger.

Her eyes found the mirror and stared at her reflection, endlessly tracing the lines on her face while rubbing her stomach.

She eventually heard the knocking on her door.

"Rach, you okay? Can I come in?"

"Yes."

She heard the door open and shut then felt his arms encircle her.

"You okay?"

"I don't know." She sighed, "I feel like I have lost a piece of myself now that I am no longer in _Glee_."

"I kinda know what you mean. I mean, it's been almost four years of our lives and now it's over, just like that."

"Maybe we don't have to leave?" Her voice rose as she became excited, "I mean we can just come back tomorrow! They'd never say no if we did!"

She felt him kiss her on the top of her head.

"Rach, they've already recast our roles and once you start to show there's no way you can play the part." He kissed her head again, "It's time to go."

She sighed. "You're right. It's just that I miss it already."

She saw him grin in the mirror.

"Well, after like a few years you can always come back and play Ms. Sylvester. You'd be totally awesome at it."

She rolled her eyes and looked down at her stomach again.

"You ready to come out yet? Mr. Schue has something to show us."

She looked back up. "Really?"

"Yea, just like old times."

She smiled. "Then it must be important. We should go see."

They made their way out of the inner workings of the theater and when she turned to head to the stage, Finn pulled her towards the seating area with a grin. They came out from the side entrance and she saw their friends, family, and a few cast members sitting up front in the center section of seats. She looked at the stage and saw about two dozen teenagers in a discussion amongst themselves.

"What's going on?"

Finn pointed his chin towards something behind her. "I think I'll let Mr. Schue explain. I need to go see what Brittany wanted to do with the props."

She turned around and saw Mr. Schuester walking towards her. Time had been kind to him. Grey was starting to show in his hair and his laugh lines were more pronounced, but otherwise he looked just as he did almost a decade ago.

She went to hug him. "Mr. Schue! I can't believe you're here!"

He laughed and smiled. "Please Rachel, it's William or Will. I haven't been Mr. Schue to you in years."

She smiled. "Okay, William." It didn't sound right, "Will." She shook her head twice and smiled again, "Neither of those sound right. I think you'll always be Mr. Schue to me no matter what."

Mr. Schue chuckled. "I don't know if that's a good or bad thing."

"It's a good thing and I'm sorry I haven't been back to visit more often. I haven't had much time to make it back to Lima that often."

He shook his head. "No, I understand. Broadway is a demanding and time consuming business," He looked around the theater and then back to her, "But, I always knew you'd make it."

He looked towards the seats, towards his former students.

"You guys in that first group were amazing. I don't think I've come close to having another group of kids like you." He held up his hands, "Don't get me wrong, they've all been really good kids, but you guys were something special." His head turned towards the stage, "Although, this group comes pretty close."

Rachel turned around to look at the stage. "They're a much larger group than we ever were."

"Yea, the club has had its ups and downs over the years. Last year was pretty rough, but this is an up year." Mr. Schue walked a few steps down the aisle until he was standing next to her, "We're actually here to compete at Nationals, but came in a few days early to see your final show once Finn told me about it."

"Really? That's wonderful!"

"It is and it's all thanks to Jennifer."

"Jennifer?"

"The tall blonde on stage with the commanding presence."

Rachel quickly found the person Mr. Schue was describing standing in front of a semi-circle formed by the other members of New Directions. It looked as though she was describing something to them.

They were interrupted by a biting voice.

"Tighten those ponies or I will have you running one yard suicides across the entire football field! And if you think that's hard, try doing it with a medicine ball tied around your neck, with dogs chasing you!"

Rachel saw half of the girls on stage, including Jennifer, reach for their ponytails as she whipped her head around to find Sue Sylvester, wondering why the Cheerios coach would make the trip. But, all she saw were Santana, Brittany, and Quinn pointing and laughing at the girls up on stage. She returned her gaze to the stage and saw Jennifer staring daggers at the former Cheerios causing them to laugh harder.

Mr. Schue was chuckling. "I see Santana still enjoys causing trouble."

Rachel smiled and shrugged. "Santana is Santana."

They watched as Jennifer turned back around to continue the discussion with her fellow students.

"There seem to be quite a few Cheerios up there."

"Yea and we even have the head Cheerio again."

"Jennifer, I presume?"

"Yes. And like I was saying, she really saved the club. We lost a lot of members at the end of last year and wouldn't have had enough people to compete, but she showed up at auditions with all of the Cheerios." He shook his head, "I still don't know why she did it. But everyone in school wanted to join after that and here we are."

Rachel and her former teacher watched the teenagers on stage for a few moments.

"So, what do you have to show us?"

"Well, it's more what they have to show you. When Jennifer heard about who you are she pretty much demanded that they perform the Nationals' set list for you to critique them." He shrugged, "And like you, she's pretty determined when she wants something."

"Well, I'd be happy to assist New Directions in any way possible."

Mr. Schue laughed. "Somehow, I thought you'd say that." He looked towards the stage, "You guys ready yet?"

Jennifer glanced at Rachel before looking at him. "Almost Mr. Schue."

Mr. Schue turned back to her. "I guess we better get to our seats then."

Rachel walked over to the row Finn was sitting in and made her way to the center of the row to sit down next to him and Quinn. She spoke with him and their friends around her as they waited for the show to begin.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Everyone went silent and looked at Jennifer on stage, "We are New Directions and we will be performing our set list for the 2021 National Show Choir Competition."

Jennifer walked upstage and took her place within the choir.

Rachel didn't notice Brad and the Jazz Ensemble were on stage until they began to play. Brad looked exactly the same since the last time she saw him and she wondered where the Jazz Ensemble got the money to follow New Directions to across the country. The question was quickly forgotten as the singing began.

They started with "Feeling Good." A song that had Broadway roots, but the group had obviously chosen to cover the Michael Bublé version, albeit at a faster tempo. There was no lead vocalist, the males and females of New Directions switched off every few lines then came together as the song built up near the middle. Their choreography was very good. It was intricate and well rehearsed; apparently Mr. Schue had worked a lot on his choreography skills. They reminded her of the first performances she saw from Vocal Intensity. Or was it Aural Adrenaline? She quickly stopped worrying about something so trivial.

Their second song was the lead single off of Taylor Swift's comeback album. Jennifer and one of the boys took the lead solos on the love song. Swift had returned to the formula that made her a star after experimenting with more mature content which fell flat to both her fans and critics. Rachel supposed all that experimenting had improved her songwriting, since she was no longer singing about princes and fairy tales. There were no such things in the real world, no matter how much people wanted to believe in them. As she slowly played with her wedding band, she glanced over and smiled as she watched Finn nod his head and calmly play the air drums to the song's beat. Well, perhaps there were happy endings.

She returned her eyes and thoughts to the actual performance which, once again, was very good. Jennifer's voice was more than good enough for this song and the male vocalist was almost as good as her. They harmonized beautifully together, almost as well as she and Finn did, and the rest of the choir did a fine job supporting the two leads throughout the song. She was slightly disappointed to see a few mistakes in the simpler choreography after seeing the much more complex steps pulled off in their first song. But overall it was a good performance.

She smiled when she heard the beginning of their third song. It brought her all the way back to her first year in Glee. Their arrangement was much simpler than what they had performed every night. It reminded her of the song as they first performed it, backed only by a piano, a guitar, and a drum set. Even their choreography reminded her of what they did back during her sophomore year of high school. There were no complicated dance moves or intricate formations. It was just the two leads, once again Jennifer and the same boy, singing together surrounded by the other twenty two members in perfect harmony.

Just like the cast of _Glee_, New Directions ended up in a line as they hit the last notes to "Don't Stop Believin'." But they had their heads pointed skyward and their arms outstretched above them as if they were reaching for the stars. It was very fitting in Rachel's mind.

Just like the cast, they received cheers and a standing ovation from their audience.

Rachel looked around the seats, saw approving nods, and heard positive comments from all around her. When she looked back up at the stage she saw Jennifer staring determinately at her with her left hand on her hip, reminding Rachel of a friend. She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face as her eyes found Quinn who returned her look with a smirk and an arched eyebrow. It looked as though Quinn was reminded of herself as well.

Rachel looked back on stage when Jennifer cleared her throat.

"I think they're waiting for your comments Rachel." She heard Mr. Schue say.

"Oh, of course. Your first number was excellent, full of energy and well choreographed. It seems you have improved greatly at that aspect Mr. Schue."

She heard him laugh. "I can't take credit for that. That was mostly Jennifer and her knowledge from the Cheerios. I will, however, take credit for the vocals."

"Then you will be sorry to hear that they were flat at some points during the song." He jokingly winced, "I realize that singing and performing a high energy dance at the same time is difficult but this is what you have chosen to do. You must make sure that you are all well rested and concentrate on your breathing because it is very important for that number."

She was happy to see Jennifer and many others on stage nod at her critiques.

"As for your second number, the vocals were very good but you had some problems with the choreography. I realize that this is not the stage you will be performing on but-"

"No," Rachel's eyes widened slightly when Jennifer cut her off, "There shouldn't have been any problems. The stage at Nationals is about the same size as this one, so you're right, we shouldn't have messed up the choreography."

The male vocalist next to her chimed in. "Come of Jen, we're all kinda tired from a day of sightseeing and you know some of us get a little nervous up on stage."

Jennifer turned to face him. "Jake, that's no excuse. We hit everything for 'Feeling Good' and mess up that simple number?" She stepped into his personal space, "And we've already performed in front of hundreds of people for Sectionals and Regionals. There's no reason for anyone to be nervous anymore."

He took away few steps away. "Whatever. Sorry for caring about the rest of the club."

Rachel didn't miss the look of pain that flashed across Jennifer's face as she turned to face the seats again and glanced over towards Quinn who only shrugged. She saw Santana in the next seat over discretely point at the two lead vocalists and then begin to make a crude gesture signifying sexual intercourse until Quinn slapped her hands down. Rachel rolled her eyes at Santana's antics and returned her gaze to the stage.

"Sorry about that Mrs. Berry. Please continue."

"Please, call me Rachel."

A smile was given in return.

"I don't actually have any comments on your third number, just that it was good. Very good."

She heard cheers come from the choir and smiled.

"Now, if you would reset yourselves to your first position, we'll see how you do a second time around."

Now all she heard were groans.

Mr. Schue spoke up. "Hey, I warned you guys about Rachel."

She felt Finn nudge her arm. "Cut them some slack Rach, they must be tired. I mean, I'm tired just from watching them dance that much."

"Absolutely not, rehearsal and practice are the worst times to be lackadaisical."

She saw Jennifer nod and Mr. Schue agreed with her. "She's right you guys. Let's get it right one time and then we can head back to the hotel." A few more groans were heard, "Okay guys-"

"Mr. Schue, if I may?"

She saw him look at her with a confused expression before he understood what she asked for and smiled.

"Sure Rachel, go ahead."

As the kids onstage slowly made their way back to the original positions, she glanced over to her left to see Quinn rolling her eyes at her. Santana and Brittany in the next seats over were tickling each other, completely ignoring the entire debate over extra practice. She turned her head to the right and saw Kurt holding hands with his longtime boyfriend in the row in front of her. She hoped one of them would pop the question soon. She looked down at the seat next to her and Finn smiled his half smile up at her before he chuckled and slightly shook his head.

She smiled brightly and looked towards New Directions.

"From the top."

_The End_

* * *

A/N: I hope you guys and gals that have stuck with it have enjoyed reading this story much more than I enjoyed writing it. There were times when I wanted to off myself for being stupid enough to write this thing. Like I said all the way back in the Prologue, I wrote this story for myself. This is the story I'd want to read and I've read the entire thing over again almost every day.

I got a bit tired with reading all of the Finchel stories trying to fix what happened after the last two episodes. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy angst pieces as much as the next person but there's only so much angst I can take and frankly it was getting to be repetitive. Plus, I doubt Ryan Murphy will make things as angst filled as most of the stories here. It wouldn't surprise me at all if everything was fixed after one more kiss and a random conversation.

Also, I found out a third of the way through this story that I hate writing Rachel because I suck at capturing her voice and I love writing Santana cause she came so easily to me.

Finally, thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted, and/or added this story to their favorites. I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I have.


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